I should have spoken up.  At least then, the long-term damage might have been minimized.  Instead, I chose to stay silent.

No excuse.

While in Walmart this week, I was in the toy section when I overheard a mother in the next aisle holding her ground against her demanding daughter who insisted on getting a toy.  She was reminded that she had “hundreds” of toys at home that she never even played with, so she was not going to get another one.  “I am not buying you that doll.  You have dozens of them already.”  The whining continued, but the mother held her ground.  Yea, Mom!

When they ventured down my aisle, I was surprised to see that this was no toddler.  She was, perhaps, four or five years old.  As more things were pulled from the shelf, the youngster imploring her parent that she “needed” this or “needed” that, Mom held firm.

Tell her that you are proud of her for not allowing her daughter to win, I told myself.  Tell her.  The voice in my head persisted, but I said nothing.

You know what happened next.  As I checked out, the mom/daughter duo pulled their cart up next to mine.  Four toys (one, a doll) sat alongside a quart of milk and a loaf of bread.

NOOOOOOO, I wanted to scream.  Why did you give in to her?  You are creating a monster, a spoiled, “‘No’ doesn’t mean ‘No’” monster.  Of course, you probably already have asked yourself why this mother even brought her child into the toy section if she had no intention of buying her anything.  No doubt, this was not their first Walmart, toy story experience.

What is so hard about having our “no” mean “no” and our “yes” mean “yes”?  The Bible actually addresses that in Matthew 5:37: Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.                                

Our words matter; they should be reliable and sufficient. This scripture does not mean that adding words to our “yes” or “no” is demonic.  Verse 37 simply explains the verses preceding it in which Jesus is saying that we should not swear at all.  We should not have to “swear to God” or “cross my fingers, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye” or even “pinky promise.”

How many times have you heard a parent say, “How many times do I have to tell you…”?  Oh, I don’t know, Parent, probably as many times as you’re going to say it before you, in exasperation, start yelling or smacking or simply give in.  And we wonder why kids become entitled brats.

Proverbs 3:12 tells us that the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.  Discipline is necessary, Readers, and I have to believe that the easiest way to teach our children right from wrong is to say what we mean and mean what we say.  If we’re going to say “No,” our “No” should have no Plan B.  Start early, and the lesson will be much less painful.

In “Empowering Parents.com,” several suggestions are given to make sure our kids do not grow up entitled.  Here are three:

1.  Don’t get pulled into fights with your child.

2.  Know that parenting is not a popularity contest.

3.  Saying “No” to your child takes practice.

Any one of those would have prevented what I witnessed in Walmart.  Not only would the child have learned some discipline, the mom would have as well.

Keys to the Kingdom By Carolyn Tucker

When I moved out of the house, right before I turned 19, Dad gave me a hammer. This was not just any ordinary hammer; it was one of his that had broken off five inches below the eye. Rather than discard it, he had kept it around. Forty-seven years later, I still have and use this hammer every time I hang a piece of décor. I love this special tool because it perfectly fits in my hand and doesn’t weigh as much as a normal one, enabling me to use it easier. I like to share the story of the weird short hammer to those who see me use it.

Dad believed in me and I, in turn, believed in him. The Saturday in 1967, when my folks took me to Springfield to shop music stores, changed my life forever. I’d been begging for a piano but I couldn’t play a lick. Dad bought a new piano for me and I was the happiest girl in the whole USA! In talking about the purchase of my piano, in his later years, Dad told me, “That was the best investment I ever made.”

Dad loved me, taught me life lessons, and instilled a love for God in my heart. He taught me how to fill the washer fluid, check the oil, and radiator level. He told me to drive with the traffic. If the temp light came on, pull over and stop. If the engine light came on, I should be able to get to a short destination. He taught me how to ride a horse, carry plenty of cash, be on time, and shine my shoes. By spending time with him, I knew him like the back of my hand.

Was he a perfect man? No. Was he the perfect dad? Maybe not — but he was perfect to me. Because of his devotion to God and faithfulness to my brother and I, he nailed the definition of a great father. “The godly walk with integrity; blessed are their children who follow them” (Proverbs 20:7 NLT).

It’s no surprise that fathers have a profound influence on their children. In the Old Testament, we see that some sons walked in their father’s footsteps. “Uzziah…began to rule over Judah. He did what was pleasing in the Lord’s sight, just as his father, Amaziah had done” (2 Kings 15:1,3 NLT). “Jotham son of Uzziah began to rule over Judah…. Jotham did what was pleasing in the Lord’s sight. He did everything his father, Uzziah, had done” (2 Kings 15:32,34 NLT).

To all the great and godly fathers with wayward children, don’t despair. As long as there’s breath, there’s prayer and hope for change. And please don’t take unwarranted blame — God gave humans a free will on purpose. Remember Adam (the first father)? In the beginning he had two sons, Cain and Able. One chose poorly and one chose righteously and both had the same father.

On April 11, 2012, I was preparing to leave, so I kissed Dad on the cheek. He immediately pulled out his billfold and handed me a ten-dollar bill and said, “Here, take this. I might need you to get me something.“ He died two days later and I still have that $10 in my billfold. The last thing he did was give.

Happy Father’s Day to all the hero dads who provide the wind beneath your children’s wings. You are essential, valued, honored, and loved as a very special blessing.

The Key: I don‘t have Dad, but I have his hammer. And that will do for now.

“Win the person, not the argument.”  I’m not sure who said that, but it’s super applicable if you want to live a Christ-like life.  That being said, it’s really, really, really hard to do.  It requires patience, unselfishness, diplomacy, compassion, kindness and humility, to list just a few attributes.

As a former debate coach (eons ago), I taught that the competitors needed to win both the judge (who hopefully would decide that the argument also had been won). Debaters entered a room and asked for the judge’s paradigm.  Novice judges (probably parents who had been guilted into judging by their children), if honest, would say that they had no idea what that meant.  Seasoned judges would say “tabula rasa,” meaning that their brain was a blank slate; they would depend upon the structure of the arguments to choose the winner and would be totally open-minded about the discussion. I’m not sure that’s possible, but it made the judge sound pretty cool.

We all know that life is not a structured debate where each person gets the same amount of time to defend, counter and question. Can you imagine disagreeing but setting the rules ahead of time?  And then sticking to the rules?  “We both get eight minutes to present our case.  Then we have three minutes to question what has been said…”

Arguments in the real world are…well, arguments, and sometimes they get heated. People interrupt.  Raise their voices.  Refuse to accept the validity of anything the other person says. My way or the highway.   Abraham Lincoln once said, “When arguing with a fool, make sure the opponent isn’t doing the exact same thing.”     Sound advice.

The Bible gives us a few examples of people who “argued” with God and won.  Moses pleaded with God not to kill the Israelites for worshipping the golden calf (Exodus 32: 9-14). Abraham convinced God to save Lot’s family when God determined to destroy Sodom because of its sinfulness (Genesis 18:16-32).  When Hezekiah became ill, he begged God to save his life and was granted another 15 years (2 Kings 20:1-11).

Proverbs 15:1 is often quoted as a reminder of how to handle a disagreement.  A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.         These people in the Bible showed respect to God when they disagreed with Him. There was no name-calling, no “You have no right to talk to me that way,” no misunderstanding about Who it was with whom they were differing.                                                                                                                                                        Recently, I overheard a conversation (argument) about our presidential candidates.  My stomach turned as voices raised, interrupted, ignored facts and made attacks personal, refused to find something valuable in what the other person said, and used the “You” attack regularly.  (Sidenote: unless paying a compliment, “You” statements have the potential to be derogatory or hurtful.)  You can guess the result of this attempt at political persuasion: neither party changed his mind.

To “win the person, not the argument,” we must take a learning approach.  Decide to listen to actually learn something instead of being heard.  Be able to say, “I’ve never thought of that” or “That’s an interesting idea” or even this one: “I think we should just agree to disagree” instead of letting the discussion ruffle our feathers.  If those don’t work, just tell someone that you’re a tabula-rasa kind of person.  Chances are, that might end the argument.         

Keys to the Kingdom By Carolyn Tucker

Often I find myself so distracted that I completely forget my original intentions. Recently, while in the kitchen, I realized I’d left my water bottle on the nightstand. On my way to the bedroom, I noticed that I hadn’t fired up my computer. So I stopped to turn it on, and then I checked the weather. By then I’d forgotten about my original mission and returned to the kitchen. Then I remembered I didn’t even make it to the bedroom to retrieve my water bottle. I unintentionally aborted my own mission simply because I let myself get distracted. Like the busy woman in the middle of the staircase who got distracted, stopped to send a text, and then couldn’t figure out if she was supposed to be going up or down.

Spiritually speaking, distractions are not humorous or harmless. In the Old Testament, the prophet Elisha sent his servant Gehazi on an urgent mission. Elisha warned him not to be casual or distracted along the way. “Get ready to travel; take my staff and go! Don’t talk to anyone along the way. Go quickly and lay the staff on the child’s face” (2 Kings 4:29 NLT). The MEV states, “Prepare yourself, take my staff in your hand, and go. If you find anyone, do not greet him, and if anyone greets you, do not answer him, and lay my staff on the face of the boy.” Gehazi was not to dilly dally on the journey because the boy had died on his mother’s lap, and she had hurried to Elisha for help.  

When Elisha and the mother arrived later at the house, he found the boy dead and lying on his  bed. He entered the room, shut the door to distractions, and prayed to God. He put his face on the boy’s face and his hands on the boy’s cold hands. Then Elisha bent over the boy and his flesh warmed. He left the room and then returned, bent over him again and the boy sneezed seven times and opened his eyes. The thing that struck me while reading this account in this year’s reading was not the miraculous raising of the dead by the man of God. It was the fact that allowing certain distractions can change the outcome of our lives.

This young boy’s life could have had a much-different ending had Gehazi allowed himself to be distracted along the way to the woman’s son. This incident occurred in the Old Testament, and the topic of distractions was also candidly addressed in the New Testament. And in the 21^st century, we continue to deal with risky distractions that persistently plague our culture.

“I will guard against the cares and anxieties of the world and distractions of the age, and the pleasure and delight and false glamour and deceitfulness of riches, and the craving and passionate desire for other things that creep in and choke and suffocate the Word, causing it to become fruitless” (Mark 4:19). Jesus was on a mission of love and salvation  to change the world. Because He and His disciples disallowed distractions, they turned the world upside down. There was an urgency with Jesus as He stayed on task to do His Father’s will.

As full-on believers, let’s be more aware of the dangerous distractions of this world and be determined to fervently follow Jesus’ example. Life is full of intense choices and glowing opportunities, but we must honestly realize that, “I cannot do everything so I choose those things which are vital and excellent and of real value. I have wisdom and I am able to distinguish the highest and the best things for me to do” (Philippians 1:10).        

The Key:  Block distractions so you can determine if you’re going up or down.

Dave and I are dog-sitting for two pugs that belong to Dave’s daughter and her husband while they are on a business trip in the Netherlands. The dogs are nothing alike. PJ loves to play and chase her ball, and Zoe is lazy and gets excited only when her food is being prepped and placed on her eating mat.

This morning, following their breakfast and a trip to the backyard, Zoe started choking.  Instead of letting me help her, she ran.  (Seriously, who runs when they are choking?)  After a few minutes of her avoiding me, I finally caught her and began massaging her throat, probably saving her life.  She demonstrated no gratitude.

We were going to go for a walk.  PJ stood still and let me put her collar and leash on her.  Zoe refused, forcing me to chase her around the kitchen table and the dining room table and from room to room.  She, the chubbier one who needed the exercise more, refused to let me give her the protection she needed to go outside.  PJ and I left the house to a whining pooch-sister scratching to get out the front door.

Isn’t that just like us?  We who need the most spiritual discipline stubbornly run from what God knows we need and do instead what we think is best or convenient or easy.  He wants us to use our gifts to honor Him, but we think first of how those gifts can make our lives better.              What’s in it for me?

There are few parables more popular than the prodigal son.  Tired of the doldrums of living under his parents’ rules, he asks his father for his inheritance and do-si-do’s out of town.  I love how the father, knowing this would be a huge mistake, still gives his boy just what he asks for. The wayward son wastes all of his money and ends up living in a pig stye so decides to return to his father and repent, hoping to be accepted as a servant. However, his father, upon seeing his younger son, celebrates his return and treats him like royalty.  The parallel to our Heavenly Father is obvious. Too bad we don’t learn from this parable.

Why is it we have such a hard time yielding to what God knows we need and instead, like the prodigal son, think we know better?  A little gossip can’t hurt, right?  How about the way we justify our critical spirit?  Or fail to tithe for one of a dozen reasons?  Or wait for someone to edify us before we say an encouraging word to them? Or refuse to show mercy? What about this one: “I just don’t feel like it?”                                                                                                                        Yikes!

Sadly, Zoe offers a lesson to all of us.  When we are in trouble, we need to run into the arms of our Heavenly Father and not turn our backs on him, thinking we know better. It’s not a fun way to be left behind.

Keys to the Kingdom

By Carolyn Tucker

I was praying early one morning while it was still dark outside. I was talking to God and sharing the desire of my heart to know Him better, climb up higher in my spiritual walk, and to lean on His grace to beat down occasional anxiety. The Lord reminded me that I don’t have to be perfect and always have it all together in order to help and encourage others. My personal experience with struggles and triumphs enables me to gently empathize and pray fervently for others who are in the same boat. This concept rings true for any follower of Christ.

I have walked barefoot through rocky places of loss and sorrow, but I’ve also experienced the supernatural grace and peace that comes from my heavenly Father. God carried me with unseen arms through the gut-wrenching journey of grief. God’s Word communicates to us that Jesus experienced everything we experience in our lives. “For we do not have a High Priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are — yet He did not sin” (Hebrews 4:15 NIV). This passage gives us hope to not drop anchor, but to set our sails for a perfect docking when our journey is completed.

As long as mankind resides on planet earth, we will have both rough and smooth sailing  experiences. Heaven is perfect; earth is not. When Jesus was with the Father in heaven, everything was perfect for Him. But when He came to earth as a babe and grew to be a man, His life changed dramatically. “He [Jesus] was despised and rejected — a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on Him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care” (Isaiah 53:3 NLT).

Perhaps believers should ask ourselves if we’re guilty of turning and looking the other way when we are aware that someone is going through stormy winds. I know many of us have good intentions to reach out and make the call, send the card, or drop by for a quick visit. Many roads are paved with good intentions. Sadly, I’ve been guilty of  procrastination and it was disappointing for both parties. Learning the hard way is a hard way to learn. Learning to practice prompt obedience to God’s leading is the better way.

Jesus was in the same boat with His disciples when a raging storm hit the lake. They  called out for help, so Jesus rebuked the storm and it instantly became calm. If Jesus has ever calmed your personal storm, you can “pay it forward.” “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of sympathy (pity and mercy) and the God (Who is the Source of every comfort, consolation and encouragement) Who comforts (consoles and encourages) me in every trouble (calamity and affliction) so that I may also be able to comfort those who are in any kind of trouble or distress, with the comfort with which I myself am comforted by God“ (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 AMP). In becoming more like Christ, believers will naturally turn our attention to the needs of others. May our  empathy run deep so we can weep with hurting people and gently guide them back to their place of joy and trust in God.

The Key: Let’s carry loved ones (in the same boat with us) until they find their sea legs.

Jesus wants us to rest.  His kind of rest. “Come to me, all of you who are weary, and I will give you rest,” he says.  The Christian life should not be a burden, yet choices we make to stay in a perpetual state of busy-ness force it to become just that.

Dave and I are in Las Vegas, and this past week we rode e-bikes to Boulder City, about 10 miles away, for breakfast. If you’re not familiar with e-bikes, they are amazing.  You pedal but choose a gear (0-Race mode).  Some of our crazier relatives ride only in Race-mode, but I stay in the lower gears unless there is a hill, and then I press “2” and let the bike do most of the work.  I still pedal, just to pretend that I’m doing something.

On our ride, we passed legitimate bikers who had no battery pack to assist them.  They struggled to pedal up the steep hills as we passed them with ease.  Of course, they were getting a work out that we weren’t, but our ride was relaxing and fun and stressless.  Only one time did I accidentally hit the throttle and propel myself forward, narrowly missing Dave’s bike, but other than that, our excursion was easy-breezy.

Not so with the regular bikers.

The Christian journey should be more akin to the restful, e-bike experience.  At least, that’s the way Jesus would desire it to be, for Jesus-rest allows us to find solace and renewal that only he can offer.  Sometimes, he even permits an injury or sickness to slow us down. In Psalm 23:2, David, the shepherd boy-turned king, wrote this about God: “He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters.”  Get that?  He “makes me.”  Jesus knows that we require rest, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

Still, we choose to stubbornly dig in our heels to the point of exhaustion in order to meet the goals we have set for ourselves.  In that, we miss God-goals.  Yesterday in our Bible study, one woman spoke about her judgmentalism towards homeless people and how God stopped her from rushing past them on the street last week when one said to her, “Love God.”  She paused and asked him to repeat what he had just said.  “Love God,” he restated, as if a directive from the Lord Himself.

She shared with us that sometimes we encounter angels in human clothing and instead of dismissing them because we are rushing to check something off of our to-do list, we need to recognize that God might have other plans.  The woman admitted that she (pedaling through life as fast as she could?) has never stopped a stranger with those words, yet a homeless man (allowing God to do all the work?) had shared them with her.

In the article “Scripture Savvy,” Jamie Wilson writes that being still doesn’t just refer to physical stillness but also to a quieting of our hearts and minds. “It is an invitation to trust in God’s wisdom and plans, knowing that He is in control and will be exalted in every situation…Resting in God is not passive; it requires an active surrender of our lives and a recognition of His saving work in our hearts. It is a conscious decision to find our security and peace in Him alone.”

Say what you want, but in life, especially in this spiritual journey, I will take all the help I can get.

Keys to the Kingdom By Carolyn Tucker

Those who served their Country and died in the battle for freedom deserve every ounce of honor and respect we can give them. Audie Murphy’s classic war memoir, “To Hell and Back,” graphically paints the grim picture of war. In the book’s foreward, Tom Brokaw states that he had researched many WWII combat veterans and had never learned of anyone involved in so much up close and personal fighting as Audie Murphy. He was a courageous Texan warrior of valor who deeply cared about his fellow soldiers, their safety, and their united mission.

I’m embarrassed to confess that I didn’t know who Audie Murphy was until 2013. He was the most-decorated soldier of WWII. I didn’t know that — according to my heart, I thought it was my dad. And that’s the way every daughter should feel about her father’s exploits of military service.

Dad was in the thick of things (Battle of the Bulge cleanup, etc.) in Germany from 1944-46, so I’ve studied some of the famous campaigns in the European Theater. General George S. Patton wasn’t particularly loved by every soldier, nevertheless, he was gifted with a brilliant military mind. “Blood and Guts Patton” did the planning and his fighting men determined to bravely carry it out. He did what others said couldn’t be done.

It appears that Memorial Day is lost on the majority of Americans who are pursuing their dreams and enjoying their freedom. It’s not just a sunny holiday to celebrate the beginning of summer. It was no picnic to sleep in a foxhole in freezing weather and snow. Dad told me that there were no athiests in foxholes because everybody prayed and called on God. Some veterans survived the war and some didn’t. Civilians have no idea how bad it was — and I fear that many Americans don’t care. That makes me extremely sad.

I’m reminded of an old hymn entitled, “Lead Me to Calvary” with lyrics by Jennie Evelyn Hussey. “Lest I forget Gethsemane, lest I forget Thine Agony. Lest I forget Thy love for me, lead me to Calvary.” If we don’t remember on purpose the important highlights in life, the memory sadly fades through the years. Memorial Day is an annual opportunity to contemplate and honor our military loved ones and strangers for their ultimate sacrifice. Why do we, as a Nation, have to stand for what’s right and fight? Because that’s what Jesus did when He died on the cruel cross of Calvary. He willingly died and rose triumphantly so others could have an abundant life now and then live eternally with Him.

“Then He [God] will judge disputes between nations and settle arguments between many people. They will hammer their swords into plow blades and their spears into pruning shears. Nations will never fight against each other, and they will never train for war again” (Isaiah 2:4 GW). One day, firepower and military strategies won’t be needed. But until then, we owe a great debt to our military heroes who left behind a great Nation under God. What shall we do with our freedom? Let’s not take it for granted,  squander it foolishly, nor live carelessly. Let‘s honor and respect the brave men and women who selflessly gave their lives for the benefit of others. “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13 NLT).

The Key: Enjoy your freedom and give honor and respect to those who made it possible.

While visiting my grandchildren, Paige, age 3, and Tatum, age 1½, in Arkansas, their parents and I took them to a children’s indoor playground.  For two hours, they ran, climbed, slid, rolled and pretended.  Soon after we arrived, two other families showed up, each with an autistic son.  As we sat on the sidelines, watching our kiddos laughing and having fun, the mothers of these two 10-year-old boys stayed near their sons who needed constant monitoring.

Twice, one boy took off his shirt and attempted to climb a slide backwards.  Immediately, his mother grabbed his ankles, pulled him down the slide and wrestled him to put his shirt back on.  When a blaring alarm went off, the attendant bolted to the back door, the only exit left unlocked, from where the boy had escaped and was running towards the street.  His mother alertly ran out the front door to intercept her son.  We all stood frozen, wanting to help but not knowing what to do.  Within a minute, the three of them were back inside, safe.

What must that be like to parent an autistic child?  While my grandchildren mingled with other kids and wanted to show us their newest skill, these boys could not be left alone.  When our family went to a restaurant afterwards, the other family did not have that luxury, and when we tucked Paige and Tatum into bed later that night, the autistic family would tussle with children who fought sleep and wanted to flee.  Theirs was a lifelong struggle.

I once talked with a young parent after he and his wife received the diagnosis that their son was severely autistic.  Finding a nanny, an appropriate school, play-dates with friends and relaxing vacations was nearly impossible, and dealing with others’ dirty looks when their child has a meltdown breaks their hearts.

On my trip to Arkansas, I encountered a woman who works for HopSkipDrive, a company that hires drivers for special-needs children.  She drives an autistic boy to school and back and is paid by the government “very, very well,” she said.  The young boy’s caretaker rides with him in the back seat of the car, and one day she told him that he had been bad at school and would not get a treat.  Since the school gives them a treat no matter how they behave, this child had no idea why he was not rewarded.  He began punching and kicking his caretaker, and the driver had to physically intervene.

In the article “Desiring God,” author Cameron Doolittle—who runs a weekend respite center for special-needs children–writes four things autistic children have taught her about her faith.  One child is able to filter out excessive noises and listen only to those who matter most, just as we should do with God’s voice. Another child acts out Disney characters to portray his emotions.  To communicate fear, he acts like the rat in Ratatouille; to show strength, he acts like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. Doolittle writes that we should filter our emotions through the lens God has provided us in the bible.

One young boy uses words literally.  If Doolittle tells him to not hit our friends, he thinks it’s okay to hit strangers. Christians, the author says, also need to choose their words carefully and speak the truth in love.  Another boy, after a weekend of respite, greets his mother with, “You’re still fat, Mom.”  Knowing that that is inappropriate, he has learned to quickly ask for forgiveness.  We should do likewise, writes Doolittle.

I asked my parent-friend what God has taught him through his experience fathering a special-needs son.  “Patience.  Unconditional love.  Dedication.  Unselfishness.”  Qualities we all should have, but I’m not sure this isn’t one of the most challenging ways to learn those lessons.

Keys to the Kingdom By Carolyn Tucker

I recently completed ten weeks of successful occupational therapy for a frozen shoulder. The OT sessions involved targeted stretches while at the facility, plus every day at home. One day, Hugo, my therapist, was patiently instructing me on where to stand, how to grab the resistance bands with both hands and do a three-point stretch. After a few uncoordinated sets of looking really silly, I laughed and told him, “I’ve never been a cheerleader.” (I’m sure he already figured that out.) Although I can sing, play the piano blindfolded, and pat my foot all at the same time, this exercise really showcased my lack of cheerleading talents.

Even though I don’t have what it takes to physically be a cheerleader, I do have the desire to cheer people on. In fact, every believer can do this because the only requirement is to speak encouraging words at the right time. While reading the Old Testament, I was impressed with Joshua‘s communication skills. With Moses dead and gone, Joshua was leading the Israelites into the promised land. After this bunch of complainers got spanked for 40 years in the wilderness, it was finally time to divide and possess the land.

Joshua 17:14-18 MEV: The descendants of Joseph said to Joshua, “Why have you assigned us a single allotment, a single portion? We are a numerous people, as the Lord has blessed us.” Joshua said to them, “If you are a numerous people, go up to the forests and clear out a place there for yourselves in the land of the Perizzites and the giants, since the hill country of Ephraim is too small for you.” The descendants of Joseph said, “The hill country is not enough for us, and all the Canaanites living in the plains have iron chariots, both those in Beth Shan and the Jezreel Valley.” Joshua said to the descendants of Joseph, “You are a numerous people who have great strength. There will not be only one allotment for you. The hill country shall be yours. Although it is a forest you shall clear it and own it to its borders. You shall drive out the Canaanites, even though they have iron chariots and are strong.“ Ra-Ra, Ra-Ra-Ra! Don’t be a jerk and get to work! There’s no doubt about it! You can do it!

Joshua was a great cheerleader who listened and then had an encouraging comeback for every question or complaint. “The right word spoken at the right time is as beautiful as gold apples in a silver bowl” (Proverbs 25:11 NCV). Joshua’s leadership is a prime example of this wisdom scripture. It’s true that a timely and appropriate word contains a healing balm that’s valuable like a silver bowl full of golden fruit. And the opposite of that is a discouraging word at the worst-possible time. Often individuals do not lack strength, they lack will. Encouraging words can give them the will to go on and not give up. Right and calming words can also abate anger: “A gentle answer will calm a person’s anger. But an unkind answer will cause more anger” (Proverbs 15:1 NCV).

We could all be further up the highway to heaven if we’d take the gravel road where Jesus walked. “But God, Who comforts and encourages and refreshes and cheers the depressed and the sinking, comforted and encouraged and refreshed and cheered us by the arrival of Titus” (2 Corinthians 7:6 AMP). When we arrive on the scene, do we encourage or discourage others? Are we a ray of sunshine? Or does the wallpaper fall off  from the verbal fallout? Do we brighten the corner where we are?

The Key: I want to be a cheerleader like God, Joshua, and Titus and kick the devil in the knee. Ra-Ra-Ree!

Do you have an “until” moment?  Your “everything is going along swell…until” moment?  This past week while flying from Los Angeles to Dallas, I was looking for a seat at the gate when I walked past a body-builder speaking to a lady who was practicing the splits on the carpeted area. (I would have joined her but realized there was no need to get the paramedics involved.)

Unusual pair, I thought, listening to them discuss their workout programs, except, as it turned out, they weren’t together.  The muscular man was with another woman. He, funny, witty, and seemingly, adventurous, spent the next two hours entertaining everyone around him.  When we began to board, he placed a beanie on his head and then protectively stuck a feather in its upturned hem.  Definitely his own person.

I boarded ahead of him and his lady-friend, but as they came down the aisle, looking for their seat, I noticed a complete change in his countenance.  He appeared terrified and frustrated when he found out his seat was between his gal-pal and a stranger.  I could overhear her reassuring him that everything was going to be all right.

He had appeared so confident and joyful…until he didn’t. He now looked like he would strangle someone, and although two rows back, I overheard the girl loudly talking with her dad on the phone about how hard it was to calm down her friend.  When we had been in the air a short time, the pilot informed us that we were in for a turbulent ride but he would “try” to find an altitude to make the trip easier. Not. Good. News.

The pilot failed to find calmer skies.  An hour outside of Dallas, even the flight attendants were told to be seated as the pilots navigated the storm around us.  Since they had spent much of their time at the terrified man’s seat, reassuring him, I feared that, without their constant attention, he might turn into a raving lunatic, mid-plane jostle.  And jostle we did.  I secretly began thanking God for engineers so smart, they could design a plane that could endure such shaking without snapping in half.

When we finally landed and were allowed to stand, passengers closer to the terrified man began to assure him that things now were okay.  “Nope,” he said.  “I will be on Amtrak the rest of this trip.  There will be no more flying for me.”

We all have our “until” moment, don’t we?  We are fine…until someone crowds in front of our merge line on the freeway.  Until our boss says one more critical word.  Until the customer service agent is rude instead of helpful.  Until our spouse once again fails to clean up his/her mess.  Until we are asked yet again to loan a tool to a moochy neighbor.  Until the mechanic’s bill isn’t even close to his estimate.

Until.  Until.  Until.  The Bible is not short of “until” moments.

In the Old Testament, barren Rachel’s moment came when, jealous of her fertile sister, she said that she would die if she did not get pregnant.  Moses spent weeks in the presence of God and was a happy camper…until he saw the golden calf the Israelites were worshipping.  Saul, the king of Israel, had his “until” moment when he found out that his son, Jonathan, was closer to his friend David than with his dad.  The list is endless.

Paul (of New Testament fame) addressed the issue when he said that we always are to be content.  Instead of there being an “until” moment, we are to rely on God and not ourselves, and until someone causes me to have one of those moments, I plan to do just that.