Keys to the Kingdom By Carolyn Tucker

Wants, Whims, and Wishes

I don’t remember asking for a lot of things when I was a kid.  But I certainly remember asking for a piano because that’s all I cared about when I was in third grade. I couldn’t play a lick, but my parents purchased a brand new instrument and the rest is history. My life was forever changed by the wonderful world of piano music. (My dad said it was the best investment he ever made.) However, when I asked my mom for a baby brother or sister she said, “No.” So I immediately asked for the next-best thing, which was a monkey, and she said, “No” again. So I know what it’s like to ask and receive and to also ask and not receive. For all I know, that monkey could have chewed off half my fingers and that would have ended my lifetime of piano-playing fun.

We all have dreams, wants, and needs. I think God-given dreams and goals are healthy and give us something to look forward to accomplishing. God’s Word tells us, “…Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it” (James 4:2b NLT). Sometimes believers ask God and we still don’t receive it. When we acknowledge that God is wiser than we are, we can pray for wants and needs and close the prayer with, “Lord, You know more than I do, so if what I’m asking for would not be good for me, then don’t give it to me. I trust You with everything concerning my life.”

“We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. …We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed“ (2 Corinthians 4:8,9b NLT). When troubles come to me, I have a self-centered tendency to think I’m the only one going through the tunnel of “tough-stuff.” I have to remind myself that real life comes to all of us. I appreciate the following scripture from the pen of Apostle Peter: “Beloved friends, if life gets extremely difficult, with many tests, don’t be bewildered as though something strange were overwhelming you” (1 Peter 4:12 TPT).

All of us would vote for constant smooth sailing when it comes to living our life. But that’s simply unrealistic. It all boils down to the fact that we’re not yet residing in heaven, so life is not going to be perfect on this planet. But God is on the side of the weakest believer who, in simple childlike trust, yields and depends on Him to provide help and guidance.

In 1994, Christian recording artist Janet Paschal composed and recorded a gospel song entitled, “If I’d Had My Way.” The lyrics are thought-provoking and I’ve come to appreciate the message more and more through recent years. My life has made twists and turns that I’d not anticipated;  nevertheless, I trust God’s wisdom over mine. Here are Paschal’s poignant lyrics: “If I’d had my way about it, I’d have danced in grassy fields and fragrant meadows. And risen in the morning just to hear the robin’s lovely melody. I’d have rested in wide spaces, high above the hurting places. And found a cross that asked much less of me. Never sailed in raging winds or troubled seas, if You’d thought it best to leave it up to me. But if I’d had my way, I might have been wading through the river when You wanted me to walk upon the sea. And if I’d had my say and all of my wants and whims and wishes, You knew how weak, how shallow I would be…If I’d had my way.”

The Key: Believers may ask away and then trust God to have His way.

Everything was perfect.  My five college girlfriends and I met in Tulsa for our annual reunion.  Diana lives there.  Diana, the one who was prescribed Statins and now cannot walk and barely can feed herself.  Diana, the one who lived in a 5-Star retirement facility until her husband choked on a piece of steak in the dining hall while the employees watched in horror as he died.  Their hands were tied.  “Only medical personnel can assist in a life-and-death crisis.”

Our friend moved from that facility, bought a one-story house and hired two aides who tend to her needs.  Since she no longer can travel, we go to her.  Every year, our celebratory dinner is a bone-in prime rib.  “No peekie, roast beefie” it’s called because after cooking it in the morning for one hour, the oven is turned off and it sets all day in the closed oven.  This year was no different, except Diana had purchased an enormous piece of meat with five large bones protruding from its side.

After setting it on a cookie sheet, Keller lathered it in her homemade rub and placed it in the oven.  Correction: she tried to place it in the oven.  It was too big.  The bones needed to be removed.  Which is where “Everything was perfect” changed.  And which is where I came in.

The bones would need to be sawed off.  After I found a jigsaw in the garage, Cathy volunteered to hold the end of one bone as I—after calling on Jesus to help—jackhammered away. The slab of meat jumped with each jolt, and everybody (and I do mean “everybody”) had an opinion on what we needed to do to keep me from amputating Cathy’s fingers.

In the end, thanks to Jesus, the jigsaw and a hammer, our mission was accomplished.

I needed a shower.

Let’s face it.  Sometimes, things just don’t fit.  They are square pegs in round holes, and they need to be “trimmed” to contribute effectively. Think 1500-piece jigsaw puzzles; sometimes, the only solution to make them fit seems to be scissors and glue.

I’ve known people who don’t fit.  They are social misfits who blunder through conversations, step on toes and speak when they should remain silent. Having them as friends can be tedious, if not impossible.

We all have a desire to “fit in,” don’t we?  Walk into a middle school or high school and you will recognize the need for students to look like everyone else. And then there are those people who insist you have to fit into their mold. Some churches are like that. They cut off those who don’t dress like them or plug them in where there is a need, not where they are gifted.  The homeless, prostitutes, drug addicts need not apply.

There were early Christians who had bought into this lie. They thought that, because they didn’t have certain spiritual gifts, they didn’t fit into the body of Christ.  In 1 Corinthians 12:12-14, Paul confronts the argument.   Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.  Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.                                                                    

And yes, we all need a little spiritual trimming every now and then.

Hopefully a jigsaw is not the answer.

Keys to the Kingdom By Carolyn Tucker

A Father’s Influence

Rev. Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887) made a thought-provoking statement when he said, “When the sun goes below the horizon he is not set; the heavens glow for a full hour after his departure. And when a great and good man sets, the sky of this world is luminous long after he is out of sight. Such a man cannot die out of this world. When he goes he leaves behind him much of himself. Being dead, he speaks.” My late husband was a gentle, kind-hearted, influential man who loved God. And I watched him be a good father to our son and daughter for 34 years; he left a goodly part of himself in each one.

Although Jimmy is gone from our children’s sight and touch, he continues to influence them. Whenever my son repairs, builds, uses a chainsaw or power tool, shoots a gun, problem shoots, discusses the Bible, or rides his motorcycle, I am seeing his father in him. A father’s influence lasts a lifetime.

Whenever my daughter goes fishing, shoots a deer, rides a horse, reads a book, plays with her children, helps someone, or starts another hobby, I am seeing her father in her. A father’s influence lasts a lifetime.

Being a great dad doesn’t just happen automatically. A lot of godly wisdom, effort, and selflessness goes into the definition of a good dad. Being a dad to your children is the highest and hardest calling, but it’s not “mission impossible.” Jimmy used God’s Word as the user manual for training our children. The following scripture was underlined in his Bible: “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it” (Proverbs 22:6 NLT). He believed it was his responsibility to teach our children about God’s Son and they both accepted Jesus as their Savior as youngsters. Today, they are committed believers and a lot of the reason why is because their father’s godly influence is still alive in their lives.

Children spell “love” as T I M E. They don’t want your money, toys, or gadgets as a substitute for your time. They want and need you! The time fathers spend with their kids (no matter their age) is time well spent and well remembered. Forget the term, “quality time.” Just be present and share life with them, whether it’s on the creek bank, the woods, in a tree house, horseback riding, in a deer stand, or on the basketball court. Be present.

Dads are a critical piece to a child’s puzzle of life. Your influence will remain with them forever. The question is, after you’re gone, what will be the main thing you’ll be remembered for? Mariam and Aaron have described their father as an “All-In” Dad. Even though being a dad is often challenging, it’s not complicated. Just keep your priorities straight: love them, don’t spoil them, discipline them, and teach them about Jesus. Be a good man and a godly example for the sake of your children. And don’t beat yourself up when you fall short. God will help you be all you need to be as a man, husband, and father. Simply do your best and God will do the rest.

No matter how old we are, we never outgrow our need for a father. Mine has been gone for 13 years and I still feel him in my heart and hear him in my head — because a father‘s influence lasts a lifetime.

The Key: “Thank you” to all the fathers who are being the #1 Best Dad you can be.

Did you notice how “testimony” begins with the word “test”?  2 Corinthians 1:4-5 explains how one leads to the other. “God comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, He brings alongside someone who’s going through hard times so we can be there for that person, just as God was there for us.” (MSG)

In “Words of Hope and Help,” Max Lucado explained that scripture. “You didn’t sign up for this crash course in single parenting?  No, God enrolled you.  He’s taken the intended evil and rewoven it into this curriculum.  Why?  So you can teach others what He’s taught you.  Rather than say, ‘God, why?’ ask ‘God, what?  What can I learn from this experience?’ Rather than ask God to change your circumstances, ask Him to use your circumstances to change you. Life is a required course — might as well do your best to pass it.  You will get through this.”

When I wrote A Little Faith Lift: Finding Joy Beyond Rejection, I didn’t have to conjure up life-tests in which I had failed.  I had more than I could count and had to choose which to eliminate.  Since the book was published, I have had enough new “tests” to create a sequel.  What I had prayed for (that others would be able to relate to my humiliation and find confidence in their own miscues) happened.  Hearing that my readers now take risks or recognize they have value or no longer give bullies any power in their lives made me thank God for my messes.  My tests had become my testimony.

Through God’s power, what seems like a setback becomes a setup for a testimony. Not giving up allows our Heavenly Father to do His work, His unexplainable masterpiece.  Piece by piece, He is completing His tapestry of perfection out of our challenges. We just have to be willing to turn our mess into our message.

When our baby died at the hands of a quack doctor, I despaired, never realizing that God would use that depression to lead me into a relationship with Him.  Because of that, I have had numerous opportunities to offer comfort and hope to mothers whose baby died.  I can say “I understand” and mean it.

If we learn to be honest about our brokenness rather than playing super Christian and pretending all is well, God can do His work.  Billy Graham understood the importance of us turning our victimhood into our victory: “The unbelieving world should see our testimony lived out daily because it just may point them to the Savior.”

The devil never can take away our testimonies of God’s provision.  How frustrated he must be as he watches us deal with troubling times only to have us rely on the only One who can turn things around so we can brag about His provision!  What test are you dealing with right now?  Are you looking for ways to cheat your way through it, trying to figure out how to deal with it on your own, or are you patiently enduring, waiting for God to teach you what you need to know to grow closer to Him?

Remember, there is no testimony without a test.

Keys to the Kingdom By Carolyn Tucker

Stand by Your Man

I have innumerable memories and life experiences that are connected with music. When I was around two years old, my family lived in southern California. When we went to the ocean, the four of us had to walk across storefronts to get to the beach. On one of these excursions, my parents noticed that I had fallen behind and wasn’t with the rest of the family. Mom had to walk back to the beer joint and get me because I had stopped to dance to the music that filtered out the open door. Little kids don’t have to be taught how to dance. They simply do it naturally…and gleefully.

When couples marry, they bring to the holy union boxes of stuff from their single days. Two items I specifically recall that my late husband brought to our marriage in 1980 was a shoebox full of cassette tapes. When Elvis died in 1977, Jimmy listened to the radio and taped the Elvis songs that the DJ played. This box also contained a cassette of Tammy Wynette which included her #1 hit song, “Stand by Your Man.”

One of the best Old Testament examples of loyal friendship is between Jonathan and his armor bearer (who isn’t mentioned by name). The Philistines were at war with Israel during King Saul’s reign. One day Jonathan (son of Saul) said to his armor bearer, “Let’s go across to the outpost of those pagans. Perhaps the Lord will help us, for nothing can hinder the Lord. He can win a battle whether He has many warriors or only a few!” (1 Samuel 14:6 NLT).

I really like the supportive attitude of Jonathan’s young attendant. He knew what it meant to “Stand by Your Friend.” “His armor bearer said to him, ’Do everything that is in your heart; turn yourself to it, and here I am with you, as your heart desires‘” (1 Samuel 14:7 NASB). He could have rattled off 20 reasons why two warriors shouldn’t engage in fighting a military garrison of Philistine soldiers. Instead, he joined with Jonathan and together they quickly made a brave attack, overwhelming and killing about 20 of the enemy. Their victory proved then, and now, that God is greater than circumstances. Jonathan’s bold words of faith expressed His confidence in God, Who then enabled this fighting duo to overcome immense odds.

I want to be a loyal friend like Jonathan’s armor bearer. He said, “Here I am with you.”  Jonathan was encouraged by his attendant’s promise to stand by him and follow him wherever he went. We all know what it means when a friend says, “I’ve got your back.” He/she will not turn his/her back on you. A loyal friend is there for the long haul. It’s been said that in order to have a friend, you must be a friend. It might be a  challenge to keep the unspoken promise to stand by your friend through thick and thin, but do it anyway. Having a friend to defend is worth fighting for.

A loyal friend is supportive, trustworthy, confidential, and honest with you. A friend stands by you, defends you in your absence, and helps you out in times of stress and strain. A friend will laugh and cry with you, comfort you, and pray for you. A friend will think the best of you when you stumble and fall, and will lend a hand to help you stand.  A loyal friend will throw out the lifeline when you’re going down for the third time.

The Key: Stand by your friend until the very end.

While talking with my recently widowed friend, I listened as she shared some of her emotional journey. She said something I never had considered: her desire is that, at the moment she dies, she will be in the middle of praying blessings for other people.

Get that?  Not blessings for herself.  For others.  The thought never crossed my mind. Well, the thought of dying has crossed my mind.  Every time I get on a plane, I question how I will react if we nosedive.  Will I scream to my fellow passengers “Choose Jesus” or just pray I lose consciousness before we hit the ground?  When my husband drives too close to the vehicle in front of us, I am not praying blessings on other people.  I just grab the passenger door handle and slam on my pretend brake, a PTSD reminder of my crash over a year ago.

My preferred method of dying would be in my sleep, but if not that, then while hanging with my grandkids.  Of course, they might be traumatized if I keel over while rolling Playdough worms with them, so I should try to consider less shocking (and more spiritual) ends…like my friend.

Compared to her, my thoughts have been selfish.  Where do I start to destroy these desires? Mark 8:34 makes it sound so simple.  He tells us to forget about ourselves.  We are to “deny” ourselves, take up Jesus’ cross and follow him.  That cross simply means not to be concerned about our circumstances but live a life that blesses other people.

Still, selfishness comes so effortlessly, doesn’t it? Never has a baby been born who wasn’t egocentric. We don’t have to teach children how to be selfish.  It is part of human nature.  If ever there was a little tyke who daily asked, “What else can I do to help this family?  I don’t need to go outside and play.   I just want to unselfishly give of myself,” I’ve never met that little saint. The only time I heard my kids offer to sacrificially serve in our home was when they wanted money or permission to hang with their friends.

Selfishness doesn’t end with little ones.  Professor Jay Hoffman of The College of New Jersey writes, “If you don’t think most of humanity is selfish, try going shopping early on Black Friday…Or try yelling ‘Fire’ in a crowded theater. And driving anywhere these days one sees a horrific display of selfishness. Drivers are aggressively competing to get ahead of each other…”

The truth is, you and I are selfish.  We need to remind ourselves to put others first, to look for ways to bless them before we bless ourselves.  It is not a challenge the Holy Spirit cannot handle, but we must be willing to seek his will when confronted with choices of “who comes first.”      I daily battle this sin.  I want the thermostat set so as not to replicate a walk-in cooler.  I struggle when multiple vehicles take advantage of me and merge in front of my car.  I want the shortest line in the grocery store, and I have no problem taking the last bag of Fritos off the shelf.     Galatians 5:20 calls selfishness one of the “works of the flesh.” James 3:16 says it leads to “disorder and every evil practice.” Selfishness ruins friendships (Proverbs 18:1) and hinders prayer (James 4:3).

Sin (selfishness) and love cannot coexist. We need our minds transformed. That happens when we allow God’s love to move through us so that we can love others the way He wants us to love.  I’m pretty sure that includes praying blessings on others instead of myself.

Keys to the Kingdom By Carolyn Tucker

Hotdogs or Steaks

As a little girl, I learned to entertain myself by “pretending.” I would pretend with my baby dolls, riding my bicycle, playing the piano on a chair, and pretend that I was a secretary. It’s alright to pretend when you’re young. But it’s really not OK to pretend when you’re an adult. For example, let’s pretend I invited you to my home for supper and I told you that we would have steaks. However, when we sat down at the table, I served hotdogs instead. I think you’d be shocked, disappointed, confused, and ready to kick my shins. So when you get your nerve up to mention that you were expecting steak, my response would be, “Oh, let’s just pretend the hotdog is a Filet Mignon.”

Living as a Christian pretender is serious business. We’re not fooling anybody when we’re not living out the walk we talk about. While reading in one of my personal journals from 2006, I came across this anonymous quote: “The partially-surrendered life may be Christian in spirit, but it is secular in practice. Of what earthly value is Christianity if it leaves no indelible mark on one’s lifestyle? It is of no value (in this life) to be Christian if you do not think Christianly — if you do not have a Christian life view.” We don’t want to get caught red-handed living as a Christian impersonator.

A genuine born-again Christian cannot stay the same. We’re either walking forward in a growing faith or backward in a worldly culture. Following Christ is a daily workout of killing the old lifestyle and being filled with the nature of God. (The last thing I want is to be filled with myself!) “By His divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know Him, the One who called us to Himself by means of His marvelous glory and excellence. And because of His glory and excellence, He has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share His divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires” (2 Peter 1:3,4 NLT).

No hotdog can fake it and make it. Pseudo Christians are pretenders which will fail miserably. Plus, they will discourage  and disillusion others from committing their life to Jesus. The watching unbeliever will likely say, “What’s the point of being a Christian? He doesn’t live any different from my other friends who don’t even profess to know Jesus.“ God desires undivided loyalty and genuine devotion from His children. Christ followers will have a desire to live a different lifestyle from the surrounding culture.

As believers study God’s Word, we can readily recognize the first signs of fakeness in ourselves and take corrective steps to eradicate it. The qualities of a bonafide representative for Christ are found in Matthew 5:3-12, known as The Beatitudes. Jesus wasn’t tip-toeing through the tulips when He also said, “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men” (Matthew 5:13 NKJV). Evidently it’s possible to lose our Christ-likeness and godly influence. Again, there’s no earthly value to being a Christian if we fail to be fully surrendered. The hard  truth of Jesus’ teaching should motivate all of us to take regular inventory of our heart, mindset, and lifestyle to ensure that we’re still wholeheartedly following in His steps.

The Key: Don’t pretend to be a steak if you’re really just a hotdog.

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:28-31 NIV)

From stumbling to soaring, we have a choice to make.  We remember the stumbles, times we wish we could delete from our memories, times we needed to turn to the One who offers us the ability to soar and not tire out.  Times when we need to change our ways, but who, except for wet babies, likes change?                                                             

We dig our heels in and justify our decisions to continue doing what requires no soaring or running or even walking.  The couch becomes our safe place, and the television becomes our god.  Easy peasy.  Except it’s not the way God calls us to live.             

Isaiah reminds us that when it comes to change, the eagle has much to teach us.                     

Did you know that the eagle has the longest life-span among birds? It can live up to 70 years, but to reach this age, the eagle must make a hard decision. In its 40s, the eagle’s long and flexible talons no longer can grab prey, which serves as food. Its long, sharp beak becomes bent, and its aged, heavy wings, covered with feathers that have grown thick over the years, become stuck to its chest, making it difficult to fly.                        

The eagle is then left with only two options: die or go through a painful process of change, which lasts 150 days. The bird must fly to a mountain top and sit on its nest.  There it knocks its beak against a rock until the beak falls off. The eagle then will wait for a new beak to grow back, a beak used to pluck out its talons. When the new talons grow back, the eagle starts plucking out all the old feathers. After five months, the eagle takes a famous flight of rebirth and lives 30 more years.

Like the eagle, we cannot “stay right where we are” and call ourselves Christians.  God wants us to delete old memories, eliminate destructive (lazy?) habits, and soar like eagles. We just need to understand that faith does not come in one giant tsunami-like wave.  It is a step-by-step process which calls on us to move out of our comfort zone, to pluck out whatever keeps us from soaring.  We don’t have to wait until we believe it all, see it all or understand it all.  We just need to take the first step.

That’s what the Israelites did after they escaped Egypt and 40 years later, found themselves camped on the bank of the Jordan River.  Joshua 3 explains their dilemma.  God asks them to step into the raging river (“at flood stage”) and trust that He will take them to the other side where the Promised Land awaits.  The priests go first, as per Joshua’s instructions, followed by one man representing each tribe and then the rest of the Israelites.  Not until the priests’ feet hit the water did God allow the river to open for them to pass through.  One step. An act of trust that opens Heaven.

God offers us the same victory.

The next step is ours.   We stumble or we soar.

Keys to the Kingdom By Carolyn Tucker

Memorial Day is a day set apart to honor the sacrifice and loss of any man or woman who died while serving in the U.S. military, whether during deployment overseas or in training and service in the United States. Military organizations and bases nationwide honor all fallen military warriors on Memorial Day. The best way for us to pay respects to our  military freedom fighters is to attend a Memorial Day ceremony at a veterans’ cemetery, or visit the grave of a loved one who gave the ultimate sacrifice of patriotism.

Patriotism means you love, respect, and are willing to serve your Country and, if need be, sacrifice your life to protect a fellow American. The American flag stirs a very proud patriotism when we see its stars and stripes waving majestically in the blue skies of liberty. Many of the best have bravely died for this flag. Military warriors have guts — and they’ve proven it by spilling them.

After viewing the 1998 film, “Saving Private Ryan” for the first time years ago, I emphatically said, “Everyone living in the United States of America needs to see this movie.” It’s a hard watch, but a necessary one if you want to get a true pulse of American heroism and patriotism. Politics and patriotism are not two peas in a pod. Although Saving Private Ryan was fictional, it was inspired by the true story of Frederick Niland, who was sent home after two of his brothers were killed in action during World War II. And if you want to read or watch a true September 11, 2012 account, I recommend “13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi.” Heroes don’t wear capes, they wear dog tags.

Saving Private Ryan’s historical accuracy in the opening sequence was praised by both WWII historians and actual survivors of the D-Day landings on June 6, 1944. Charlie Company’s horrific experiences in the early scenes of the film, including those seasick in the landing crafts, the catastrophic number of casualties as they exited the crafts, and the struggle in linking up with the nearby units on the shore are all true to history. Many  minor details, including the sound of the bullets and the unique “ping” of the U.S.  soldiers’ M1 rifles ejecting their clips, are accurately recreated. Even the correct code names for the different sectors of Omaha Beach were used in the film.

Never, ever shall we disregard the words of Jesus which perfectly describes all the brave hearts of our military men and women who have given their ultimate patriotism. “No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13 CSB). I also appreciate the same scripture from The Passion Translation: “For the greatest love of all is a love that sacrifices all. And this great love is demonstrated when a person sacrifices his life for his friends.”

I was taught not to argue with God or His Word and, honestly, it would be ridiculous to try to do so. With the meaning of Memorial Day weighing heavily on my heart, the following scripture clearly illuminates an appropriate response to what Peter writes: “Show proper respect to everyone. Love the community of believers. Have respect for God. Honor the king” (1 Peter 2:17 NIRV). We should obey God’s Word and give proper regard to those who sacrificed all.

The Key: Believers have an ethical obligation to honor and properly respect our U.S. fallen heroes.

“The pursuit of excellence is gratifying and healthy. The pursuit of perfection is frustrating, neurotic, and a terrible waste of time.”  Edwin Bliss

Meet the Martha Stewart of Bethany, a woman with whom many can relate.  Strong-willed and energetic, Martha was all about her check-off list.  What do I need to do next?  She lived with her sister Mary and her brother Lazarus and freely welcomed friends as well as strangers into her home. Religious leaders, the “Who’s Who of Bethany,” and virtually anyone in need, including her close friend, Jesus, knew they had an open invitation to this home. It was there she learned to prepare a meal with little advanced notice for her guests.  With no Whole Foods in site.  I hyperventilate thinking about it.

Martha’s downfall, like mine, is her life could easily become unbalanced when she took on too many tasks.  It appears that she missed some sweet opportunities for relationship-building when she allowed herself to become too busy.  After all, she was not about to have people whisper about leaving her house hungry.  Not on her watch. Sound familiar?

Then there’s Mary.  Aah, Mary, who saw no great need for unnecessary things like schedules and household chores.  What fun was that?   “Let’s just visit” was her motto.  “And the house will take care of itself.”  Mary was almost childlike in her hunger for truth – especially spiritual truth.  So sets the stage for Jesus’ visit to their home as written about in Luke 10:38-42, NRSV.

Now as they went on their way, He (Jesus) entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what He was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to Him and asked, ‘Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.’ But the Lord answered her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.              

Free-spirited Mary was all about relationships, and even though it was unusual for a woman to sit among men, Mary reclined as close to this friend as possible.  What other people thought of her was of no concern!  She did not care that some called her flighty and irresponsible.  She was there to hang onto every word spoken by the Rabbi, the Messiah who, unbeknownst to her, was just a few weeks short of his death.

I once read that perfectionism is doing things right while excellence is doing the right thing. Which woman represents you?  Many theologians say that we should be more like Mary, but both women offer lessons about balance in our lives.

Interestingly, Martha appears to desire that sweet fellowship with Jesus but knows that the group of visitors would consider her inconsiderate if she did not feed them.   She, as the “hostess with the mostest,” wants her guests to be taken care of, but as she labors over her stove and hears the mumblings of conversation in the other room, she realizes she is missing out.

If you’ve ever labored outside over a hot grill while your friends recline inside, cheering for their favorite sports team, you get Martha’s frustration.  The only time they include you is to remind you how they want their burger cooked or to give them a gluten-free bun. Not fun.

Mary, as opposed to Martha, appears not to care about physical food.  She wants spiritual food and recognizes that she is sitting at the feet of the only one who can satisfy that need. There always will be time to enjoy Martha’s stew, but who knows when Jesus would pass this way again?

What we need to take from this story is that to become so self-righteous in our good works that we start to judge others for not doing as we do does nothing to please the Lord.  Our careers/ministries require attention, but not so much that we neglect our time with God.  One is exhausting, and one is exhilarating.

As someone once said, “Select the best, and you will have rest.”