Busyness is a thief.  It is. For too many of us, we allow it to dictate our schedules, proudly taking on more than we should, loving the bragging rights we have when we can share just how crazy our lives are.  We fancy the praise when others tell us they don’t know “how” we do it.  Crazy, isn’t it?

Crazy enough to die for our efforts.  After all, our value is based on how fast we pace ourselves, right?  Researchers estimate that long, working hours contribute to 745,000 global deaths from stroke and heart disease annually.  The real thief is that we cannot get back the hours we spend keeping busy.

We must learn the power of the word “No!” when pressed to dig deeper, answer the imperative, fulfill the obligations placed on us by others (and ourselves).  Researchers call it the “mere urgency effect.” We’re biologically wired to prioritize urgent over important.  In studies, people consistently chose time-sensitive tasks with small rewards over important tasks with bigger payoffs. Our brains literally sabotage our priorities.

The important stuff gets lost in our busyness.  The important—our health, our relationships, our long-term goals, our personal growth—sits quietly in the corner, patiently waiting for us to find time to prioritize our lives.  But do we pay any attention to it?  Do we care what really matters enough to give our time our “first fruits”?

Until we put down our cellphones (let’s say, all day Sunday, every meal, morning and nighttime, whenever we have quality time with our family) and heed our loved ones’ needs to be heard, we are risking them resenting our lack of attention and importance.  Yesterday, I was talking on a Facetime call with my daughter-in-law Kristen.  I asked her what she and her girls were doing all day, and she said they would start by “cleaning the house.”

Tatum, the three-year-old, was listening.  I asked her if she was going to help.  She was.  When I asked “how” she was going to help, she said “I’m going to play.”  She meant it, even though her mother had something different in mind.  Tatum ran to her dad’s office and came out with her play broom to show me how cooperative she could be.

I loved watching her “sweep,” until Paige, her five-year-old sister, found the toy mop.  What started out as cleaning, quickly turned into a sword fight…broom vs. mop. Not unlike how I work.  I start off on one task (like writing this article) and get side-tracked.  Don’t I need to clean out my refrigerator?  Is that a cobweb I see?  How about that thank-you note I forgot to write?

The most successful people aren’t the ones doing the most.  They are the ones doing the right (i.e., meaningful) things successfully. The world won’t slow down for you or me. If anything, it speeds up. Every day brings more notifications, more demands, more opportunities to say yes to things that don’t matter.

Colossians 4:5 simplifies what our goal should be: Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. I mean, seriously…what’s a cobweb or two between friends?

Keys to the Kingdom

By Carolyn Tucker

Pigpen Shenanigans

On the morning of July 5, my son Aaron, daughter Mariam, son-in-law Levi, and I made plans to go car shopping for me. While Mariam attended to the outside morning chores, the rest of us were just shooting the breeze as we waited for her. Pretty soon, Mariam walks into the living room and joins in on our conversation, although she doesn’t take a seat. I was distracted with the idea of shopping and didn’t really think about the unique artistic design on her t-shirt until her husband and brother asked, “Is that mud on your shirt?” “Yes,” she answered. (I don’t think she even rolled her eyes.)

Mariam explained that she’d previously separated the momma pig from the baby pig because it needed to be weaned. Therefore, the sow and boar were together in a separate pigpen and the big-fat baby was in her own pen. However, during the evening of the 4^th of July, the baby got scared out of her wits and managed to escape and crawl into the parent’s pigpen. So, Mariam had fallen down in the muddy pigpen trying to grab the baby so she could put her back where she belonged. Needless to say, we spared no high-spirited laughter as she told her pigpen story in detail. Even though we’re a close-knit family, not a one of us had any compassion or sympathy for her!

I love a good story when there’s ample details to envision what’s being told. Many times Jesus used parables to explain life-changing lessons to His listeners. Perhaps one of His most-popular parables was about the “prodigal/lost son” in the Book of Luke. A man had two sons and the younger one wanted his inheritance before his father died. The father agreed and a few days later the son went to a distant country and wasted all his money on wild living. When he ran out of money, a terrible famine hit and he began to starve. He found a farmer who agreed to hire him to feed his pigs. When the young son became so hungry that he wished he could eat the pigs’ bean pods, he finally came to his senses. Welp, better late than never.

“So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.’ But his father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began” (Luke 15:20-24 NLT).

The choices we make can either “make or break” our life. The #1 choice is to choose to follow Jesus. The prodigal son chose to take the money and run from his loving father. This turned out to be a poor choice because the son wasn’t mature enough to wisely handle life. But the good thing is that he later made the right choice to return to the love and care of his father. As long as there’s breath and an ounce of sense, there’s hope in God’s open arms of mercy and forgiveness for our sins and stupid choices. No matter what you or I have done, the Father is waiting and watching for us to come back home.

The Key: It’s not over ‘til the fat piggy sings.

If you ever have had your trust in someone broken, chances are the wound of betrayal took some time to heal.  Repairing the damage will not be done overnight.

I know two individuals who had their companies stolen from them by underhanded co-owners; both ended up claiming bankruptcy. Some of my friends have caught their spouses in adulterous relationships.  Death, they say, would have been better.  Recently, I sat with a friend who shared that she caught her employees stealing from her.  When she confronted them, they lied about it.

Our three sons are in the restaurant business.  Jeff, the eldest, runs them. When they first started out, Jeff was warned by other owners in the dining business about how easy it is to have inventory stolen.  It took Jeff little time to find out just how true that was.  When Debbie, my friend in Mazatlán, Mexico, bought a restaurant, she was shocked at how much of her inventory ended up in employees’ car trunks.  Only when a parking lot security guard told her what he saw late at night did she have reason to fire her workers.

Debbie’s friend Lisa, another restaurant owner, told Debbie that she had a chicken disappear every day for a year.  When she finally realized that her head chef left work every night with his chef’s hat on, she demanded he remove it.  Sure enough, there sat a frozen chicken, resting atop his head.

Whom do you trust? My daughter-in-law Kira is a flight instructor in the Colorado mountains.   A couple of months ago, she was teaching an older gentleman how to fly.  Part of the instruction is that the pilot has to stall the plane mid-air and then bring the plane out of the stall (one of several reasons I have no desire to get my pilot’s license).   Kira teaches her students the proper technique, but this man failed to do what he had been taught.  Kira had to take over to prevent a crash.  The gentleman seemed unbothered and later said that he trusted that if something went wrong, Kira would make it right. Fortunately for him, she did.

If we’re going to trust, that person needs to earn our trust.

My daily Bible reading is in the book of Job.  We all know him as the man who lost everything…except his nagging wife and three, know-it-all friends.  Job questions God, imploring Him to explain why this has happened to him.  In Job 29, he reminds God (and his “friends”) that he is a good man.  He has helped the poor, the fatherless, the widow, the blind and the lame, and now they all have turned against him.  God remains silent, even when Job’s buddies remind him how he obviously has done something to irritate God.

For 38 chapters, we read the verbal tug-of-war, and then God speaks.  He doesn’t answer “why” Job was asked to endure what he did.  He simply reminds Job of Who He is, of what He is capable of doing, and how no one should contend with him.  In chapter 42, God admonishes the three friends for their lack of trust in Him and reminds them that Job has remained faithful.

God does not need to answer us when we question His ways.  He has a greater plan and purpose that we may never understand.  When I am tempted to ask the “Why” questions, I need instead to trust that His ways are not my ways.  They are far greater than anything I can imagine.

Rom 11:34-36 is confirmation: “Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor? Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him? For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever.  Amen.

People will fail us, but God never will.

Keys to the Kingdom By Carolyn Tucker

Shin Goose-Egg

I’m old enough to remember when handheld hair dryers were nonexistent. And what a happy happy day it was when I purchased my first one! You’d think by now that I’d know how to properly handle this appliance, but the other day I was lacking some skill in stowing the electrical cord. When I finished drying my hair, I began to wrap the cord around the dryer and, for whatever reason, the ground-fault circuit interrupter banged against my naked shinbone with a mighty blow. “Oh, oh, oh,” I felt like I was impersonating a silly Jerry Lewis movie complete with his crazy antics and crossed-eyes! A couple of minutes later, I inspected my injury and discovered a hefty goose egg on my shin! The only goose egg I’d ever seen was on the forehead of my little nephew Dakota.

I most certainly did not intentionally hurt myself. When an unfortunate incident happens unexpectedly or unintentionally and results in damage or injury, it‘s considered an accident. Have you ever said something accidentally that hurt someone’s feelings? Or have you ever had someone say something to you that hurt your feelings? As Christ followers, we need to give the individual that hurt us the benefit of the doubt. Apostle Paul wrote that believers should bear with others and make allowances for them because we love them. “With tender humility and quiet patience, always demonstrate gentleness and generous love toward one another, especially toward those who may try your patience” (Ephesians 4:2 TPT). This is when we want to say (but only think): “I’ve got one nerve left and you’re on it!”

Don’t be tempted to take something that’s said to you the wrong way — especially if you’ve got years of beautiful history and memories with the individual. We’re to overlook an accidental insult and love family and friends in spite of the stupid things they may say. “Hatred stirs up trouble on purpose; love overlooks the wrongs others do” (Proverbs 10:12 CEV). Love overlooks; love covers “word accidents.” You never know what troubles an individual might have on his/her mind. We simply must cut them some slack if we consider ourselves to be a Christ follower.

In 1977, I gave my mom the classic book entitled, “Wings of Silver.” I’m sharing three  quotes from this great little wisdom book:  “Be sure of this: you are dreadfully like other people.” “No person can ever be a complete failure, for he may serve as a horrible example.” “Nothing will make us so charitable and tender to the faults of others as to thoroughly examine ourselves.”  No one is perfect, so we all need to extend a gentle hand of grace to all who’ve proven to be flawed human beings.

A good-natured person can be described herein: “Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5 TPT). Believers need to develop thick alligator skin and not go through life with overly-sensitive feelings. Walking in love means we do our best to overlook offenses and focus on the positive attributes of the individual. Since I’m guilty of occasionally sticking both feet in my mouth, I can certainly overlook that same  malady when someone else sticks their foot in their mouth.

The Key: If someone accidentally kicks you in the shins, just smile and try not to cross your eyes.

Keys to the Kingdom By Carolyn Tucker

What Size Pizza?

My daughter, son, granddaughter and I were sitting at a pizza restaurant in Kansas City.   We noticed that the menu listed the pizza sizes as S, M, L, G. We started guessing what the “G” represented, which caused an explosion of laughter as we guessed all kinds of silly things including “ginormous.” Upon further investigation, we discovered that it meant “Gigantic” and the price was $70.00. We were all hungry, but not that hungry!

The storms of life are comparable to pizzas — some are small, medium, large and some are gigantic. But whatever size storm you find yourself in, remember this: “He will not abandon me or leave me as an orphan in the storm — He will come to me” (John 14:18 TLB). If we truly entrust our storm to God, we’ll have to deliver it to Him, ring the door bell, and just walk away. Much of our faith walk consists of letting go of the things that are beyond our pay grade. There’s a rich comfort in placing our personal storms into God’s loving hands.

When I’m anxious about my own personal-pan storm, it does me good to pray for  someone who’s enduring a bigger-size storm than me. We should consider the gigantic storm that Job endured. He was in the worst of the worst situations, but when he prayed for his friends, God healed him and blessed him with more than he had before the storm.

Apostle Paul experienced adversity and God encouraged him with these words: “But He said to me, My grace is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect and show themselves most effective in your weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9 AMP). My father and late husband were strong men and both of them made me feel loved, cared for, and safe. Even though I’m a woman, I really appreciate the meaning of bearing the storms of life “manfully.” Since God’s grace is the believer’s strong enabler, we can do what we have to do by the strength and power that dwells in us. But we have to act on God’s Word in 2 Corinthians 12:9.

The Army has a motto, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” And God has said, “See, I have refined you, but not like silver; I have tested you in the furnace of adversity” (Isaiah 48:10 NRS). No Christ follower is going to stand in line and sign up for adversity. No one wants it, no one likes it, and everyone prefers to be excused from it. But as long as you’re alive, you’re going to have it, whether it’s S, M, L, or G because it‘s part of life on planet earth. Gospel singer songwriter Andrea Crouch composed “Through It All” in 1971 while struggling with the devastating loss of his father, mother, and brother within two years. Verse 3: “I thank God for the mountains, and I thank Him for the valleys, I thank Him for the storms He brought me through; For if I’d never had a problem I wouldn’t know that He could solve them, I’d never know what faith in God could do.”

Before it became illegal, tourists from all over the world came to Pebble Beach at Pescadero, California to collect the round beautiful stones. These stones endure relentless  waves which cause them to be slammed together and ground against the cliffs. Without this adversity, they would be ugly and ordinary. God desires believers to be beautiful and extraordinary. Polish comes through trouble.

The Key: If  you’re being beat up by a gigantic storm, just hold your ground and stand on God’s gigantic grace.    

Small is the Gate and Narrow the Road by Patty LaRoche

Don’t you love those encounters when a military person returns from duty and is reunited with one of his loved ones? It is a common sight on YouTube channels. I tear up when I see an adolescent child run across his school cafeteria, sobbing into the arms of his/her returning parent, with no concern at all for how that looks to his classmates.

More families are now setting up those special, surprise reunions and posting them online.  I tear up, seeing them. A few months ago, Dave and I flew into MCI and noticed a uniformed soldier standing alone as we exited the plane.  I thanked him for his service, and he nodded. Dave and I walked down the corridor where we ran into him again. He appeared confused.  I asked if he needed help.  He did.  “Where is baggage claim?” he asked.

After pointing to the down escalator, I watched him walk towards it, Dave and I following.  At the bottom of the stairs, we noticed a family holding balloons with a “Welcome Home” sign.  A toddler escaped from his family and bolted to the soldier who knelt on the ground to grab his young son.  The little boy hid his face in his daddy’s neck and sobbed.  People all around stopped and applauded.  Few did not brush away tears at the sight unfolding before us.

I picture that hug as one not unlike the ones we will have when we take our last breath on earth and are standing alongside those who have gone before us into Heaven.  What will that be like to see the ones who gave us so many memorable moments before they passed?  I think of my Uncle Kermit and Aunt Gladys who taught my brothers and me how to pump kitchen water and wait in line for the outhouse to become available, who let me hog rides on their mean Shetland pony, knowing it would run me under the tree limb as I tried to take control of its path.

My Grandma and Grandpa, I hope, will be there.  They were the ones who sacrificed much after my father died, helping Mom raise three little terrors of which Mom always said I was the worst.  They let me sleep over at their house in Rich Hill, Missouri, and allowed my great uncle to take me to church and drive the stick shift home, even though I was just 13.  The memories are endless.

I will see my dad who died when I was eight months old.  What will that be like? Will I recognize him from his pictures my mom kept in her photo book?  I will get to hold our babies who died before they had a chance to live.  Will they still be babies?

We can speculate all we want, but only God knows who will be there, who has truly lived in obedience to His word, seeking holiness while serving others.  He sees their hearts and identifies their motives.  Matthew 7:14 reminds us that this is no easy journey: But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.                  

Luke 13:24 makes me cringe. Make every effort to enter through the narrow door. For many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able. Thank God (literally), Jesus gave us directions: I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. (John 14:6) Get that?  Allah and Muhammed will not be able to usher us into Heaven; neither will our good works nor our good intentions. That narrow road is Jesus.  We should make no mistake about it.

Keys to the Kingdom By Carolyn Tucker

No Knock-off Peace

Many years ago, I mailed a check to someone and it was never cashed. So I wrote another check and asked a family member to give it to her. The second check never cleared the bank either, so I finally gave up. I didn’t owe this gal any money, I simply wanted to bless her with a monetary gift. I was willing to give, but there was some hindrance to her receiving it.

Jesus wanted to give His disciples an important gift before He ascended to His Father.  He said, “My own peace I give to you” (John 14:27 Weymouth). Notice that Jesus gave His own peace, which demonstrated that He wasn’t selfish or stingy. Today, Jesus continues to offer Christ followers His own Name-Brand peace. This precious peace isn’t a knock off — it‘s the real deal and it will last as long as you breathe and believe. It’s one thing to have head knowledge regarding this scripture, but it’s another thing to believe it for yourself with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Peace is a gift from Jesus but you have to accept it and put it into practice. In other words, cash the check!

“I leave the gift of peace with you — My peace. Not the kind of fragile peace given by the world, but My perfect peace. Don’t yield to fear or be troubled in your hearts — instead, be courageous!” (TPT). We’re living in a world that offers pseudo peace. I encourage you to pour some time, study, and meditation into John 14:27. Find a translation of this verse that hits you square between the eyes and lands solidly in your heart and mind. Know what you believe and why you believe it. Here’s an uncomplicated motto that’s been around for awhile: Jesus said it, I believe it, and that settles it!

John 14:27 in the Amplified Bible states: “Peace I leave with you; My own peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled]. We certainly have an active part to play in receiving and keeping our peace.

Sometimes we’re tempted to lose our peace; and sometimes we just flat-out lose it. I hate it when that happens. But at least I know where to go (God’s Word) and what to do (pray). Believers should always look at our difficulties, stresses, and heartaches from God’s perspective. He never scratches His head or wrings His hands wondering how to fix our problems. And that’s why we ought to keep our peace and trust Him. When  you feel your peace slipping away, pray immediately. “I have courage in God’s presence, because I am sure that He hears me if I ask Him for anything that is according to His will” (1 John 5:14 GNT). It’s definitely God’s will for us to have peace, so boldly ask for your peace to be restored. Your life depends on it, so don’t try to get by without it!

The following scripture reminds me to get my act together when life gets turbulent: “The Lord goes before me; He will march with me; He will not fail me or let me go or forsake me; I will fear not, neither become broken in spirit — depressed, dismayed, and unnerved with alarm (Deuteronomy 31:8 AMP). When the stormy waves are over your head, there’s  a deepening and enriching comfort when you can experience the peace of Christ in your innermost soul.

The Key: Believers have been given the gift of peace and we are expected to cash it in.

Should you ever go through Springfield, Illinois, I encourage you to visit the Elizabeth Packard Mental Health Center. It is now on my Bucket List. After completing the book The Woman They Could Not Silence about Elizabeth’s heroism, I am recommending the museum to everyone I see.

With the author’s portrayal of this remarkable woman, I learned much, particularly how spoiled we are because women in the 1800’s, having no legal rights, sacrificed much to make a difference. Women then were beholden to their husbands, and she was his property. Thus began the story of Elizabeth Packard.

Married for twenty-one years to a controlling, Confederate-sympathizing pastor, she disagreed with his teachings and took the bold step to attend a different church, taking her six children with her. With that decision, Theophilis, her husband, had her committed to a mental asylum in Jacksonville, Illinois. There she encountered Dr. Andrew McFarland, a man who not only was threatened by her keen intelligence but proved to be even more dangerous than her traitorous husband. Little did she know she would spend years trying to regain access to her children as she spoke out against the savage injustices.

I could not put the book down. Her story made me ask myself at which point I would have broken: freezing from lack of heat; sleeping on a straw, urine-filled cot; watching fellow inmates tortured; fighting for the hundreds of women–as sane as she–who were subjected to years of mistreatment because, they, like she, had done something to annoy their husbands.

Elizabeth’s life is a testament to the power of one person who was determined to do what she believed God called her to do. There are others who have no institution named after them who also made a difference.

Mordecai Ham (1877-1961) was a tent evangelist who converted over 300,000 men and women to Jesus. At one revival, two fourteen-year-old boys heard the commotion and decided to check out what was happening in the nearby tent. Realizing there were no available seats, they left but were stopped by an usher who assured the boys that he would find them a seat together. And he did.

At that meeting, both young men made a declaration of faith and asked Jesus to be their Lord. Their names? Billie Graham and Grady Wilson. Graham went on to lead millions to Christ, and Wilson stayed by his side, doing whatever Graham needed him to do. No one knows the name of the usher. He was the unknown man who did what he could to make sure those two teens had a seat to hear Ham’s teaching.

I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get to Heaven and meet these heroes/heroines, some with names that live in infamy and others who have no public claim to fame. All I know is, God uses both. We don’t have to live the life of a celebrity to be used by God. We just need to have the desire to usher others into His eternal kingdom.

After all, my job probably is not to change the world. My job is to change someone else’s world.