Keys to the Kingdom

By Carolyn Tucker

To Do or Not to Do

I have certainly been on the receiving end of people “doing good” on my behalf. More than once, when I was grieving heavily over the loss of my late husband, I prayed, “Oh God, please impress upon several people to intercede and pray for me right now.” Within a few short minutes, my burden of sorrow had lifted and I felt relief and peace. Someone fulfilled their Christian duty toward me, resulting in my desperate prayer being promptly answered. Believers must constantly be aware that God uses His obedient servants to accomplish His will, and to answer prayers of petition for others.

 “I live before God, doing my duty with a perfectly good conscience” (Acts 23:1). This is a BIG little verse which basically covers our entire life in a nutshell. It’s plain to see that Christ followers are to live our lives in obedience to God’s Word and Jesus’ example, which produces a clear conscience.

Galatians 5:13 is another BIG little verse: “Through love serve one another.” If believers are going to do our duty through service, we have to actually be with someone to serve him/her. Please stay in touch with one another. When the Holy Spirit brings someone to your mind, reach out to them. I’m still working on this “others” process. Let’s think realistically about how many people you and I know, and then ponder why our mind would bring “Sue” or “Bob” to the forefront of our thoughts. We need to be alert and  realize that this occurrence is not just happenstance. Sue or Bob needs us to reach out.

As a personal example, I’d been thinking of my friend “G” so I jotted down a note to call her sometime that day. That very morning, while shopping, I spotted her. We visited a few minutes and then I asked if I could pray for her and she said, “Yes.” I openly prayed for her in the produce aisle and then we parted. So did I help her? I don’t know, but I did my duty to love her and bring her situation to the Throne of God. When I left the store,  my conscience was good. I had obeyed the Holy Spirit to pray for her right there in front of the potatoes, tomatoes, and avocados.

Do I deserve a Brownie button for that act of kindness? No, no, a thousand times no — I was just doing my duty as a fellow believer and friend. Compared to God’s everlasting love and kindness, what we do is on the lowest level of “achievements.” But it’s paramount that we aim for the highest level of obedience.

And remember, the devil will always try to talk you out of doing something good. If I would have hesitated a split second to pray for my friend, the devil would have convinced me not to do it. I know this for a fact. He will do anything to cheat you out of a blessing by doing your duty (moral obligation/responsibility). Jesus went around doing good so we should do the same without hesitation (see Acts 10:38). Fleshly hesitation is like opening the door just enough for the enemy to stick his big, ugly, stinky foot inside. We never ever want to give him a foothold because nothing good will come from that mistake.

The Key: Will you do your duty or not?

Jacee asked for a Mental Health Day. She needed time off work because she was stressed, not to mention her employee contract allowed her three of those days a year, so she was entitled to it.

Where were those days when we were living in Houston, Dave was playing baseball in another part of the country and our children were young? No one offered me a day to regroup, not even when I found my outdoor wreath nailed 18” above the baseboard in the living room (i.e., where the ping pong table was located, of course). As it turned out, when Adam beat Jeff in a game, Jeff threw his paddle at his younger brother who retaliated by shoving Jeff through the drywall. The wreath was their brilliant plan to hide the butt cheeks’ hole in the wall.

Or how about the time teenager Jeff placed the riding mower in drive instead of reverse, pinning me against the wall in the shed…the same teenage Jeff who tried to take a shortcut home from mowing a neighbor’s yard and drove into a ditch full of water, dropping the keys in the muddy water when he jumped off the mower? I never got time off work when I was mentally unstable. I got time off work when the principal of Adam’s middle school called me to say that the history teacher was tired of Adam’s shenanigans. Would I trail Adam at school for a day to see if he behaved better? That was my mental health day.

According to Jessica Brodie, author of “5 Sneaky Habits that Cause Serious Mental Health Problems,” mental health issues range from diagnosed mental illness (many times caused from a chemical disorder, genetics or trauma) to short-term periods of mental imbalance. What intrigued me about Brodie’s article was that mental health problems can be caused by five behaviors: lack of sleep, poor nutrition, not exercising, substance abuse and lack of self-love.

Except for substance abuse, I was guilty of the other four but certainly not unsympathetic to single parents who resorted to “substances.” I mean, how was I to sleep when I realized Adam disconnected the security system so he could sneak out his window at night? I guess I needed to be more like Jesus whose disciples had to wake him when a storm arose. (I could not relate.)

As for nutrition, yes, I know that our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and deserves proper nutrition (1 Corinthians 6:19-20), but was it my fault Little League concession stands sold only hotdogs and nachos instead of salads? Then there’s exercise—so over-rated. Who has time for a spin class? Wasn’t it enough that daily I played catch with my sons and retrieved balls that somehow missed my glove? Proverbs 31:17 addresses the strength of a godly woman: “She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.” My arms were strong; it was the rest of my body that suffered.

Matthew 22:39 deals with self-love. Matthew never met my kids. How does one love herself when she is told by other parents that on several occasions her older two sons put a football helmet on their younger brother and had him run through the woods, target practice for their BB guns? No doubt, I was the topic of conversation for many of my son’s friend’s parents.

As I reflect on the hundreds (thousands) of incidents with my children, I understand that had mental health days been offered to parents who deserved them, I never would have worked a day in my life. Still, the wildest thing about all of this is that I now consider my children as some of my greatest blessings. Crazy how that works, isn’t it?

Keys to the Kingdom

By Carolyn Tucker

Yield the Right-of-Way

We yield the right-of-way in our vehicles all the time. And if we don’t, we may have to call 911 and hire a tow truck. I sometimes approach a four-way stop and not actually know who got there first. That’s when I look at the driver for a hand sign. (Fortunately, I’ve never had the naughty finger waved at me.) The other driver either motions for me to go, or simply proceeds through the intersection as I wait. Now, roundabouts are a completely different story. As far as I’m concerned, those things should have stayed in Britain and never crossed the Atlantic. When entering a roundabout, my mind goes back to jumping rope during grade-school recess. I had to learn how to “run in” while the rope was in motion.  It takes some drivers longer than I have patience for when they’re trying to merge into the circle. Just give me a traffic light with green, yellow, and red. I can always eat cashews while I wait for the light to turn green.

It’s rather stupid not to yield our will to God and let Him have the right-of-way. Often, a believer’s greatest struggle is being resistant to God’s will. Most of the time we know what His will is, but we aren’t willing to follow through by yielding our personal ideas and plans. It’s a dangerous position to be in when you understand God clearly, but refuse to yield. It’s like an accident going somewhere to happen.

Believers are to have a listening ear and quick, obedient action to the voice and will of God. “The Sovereign Lord has given me His words of wisdom… Morning by morning He wakens me and opens my understanding to His will. The Sovereign Lord has spoken to me, and I have listened. I have not rebelled or turned away” (Isaiah 50:4-5 NLT). As we  study God’s Word, we ought to pray for the grace of God to reveal His will for us. Then be alert to all that God wants to say and do through us as His children.

If a stubborn Christ follower crashes through every yield sign God puts out, it’s time to stop, pray, and recalculate his/her life in order to be in alignment with God’s design. It’s a no-brainer choice. We can humbly yield to God and experience joy and contentment, or we can foolishly resist and live in fear and misery. We must choose whether we turn right or left at the corner of Rebellion Road and Obedient Street.

We don’t want to be out-of-sorts with God. It’s to the best of our interest to please God. He knows what’s best for us and we’re often simply too dumb to know it. Jesus compared believers to sheep, which are known to be one of the dumbest animals.

If we want to fulfill God’s plan for our life, we should wake up every morning and ask Him to lead us throughout the day as we yield our will to Him. A yielded life results in living the abundant, unsearchable blessings of Christ. He’ll watch over us to ensure that we rest in green pastures so that our souls can be restored. When we trade our will for His will, it’s the deal of a lifetime!

“…O Lord, You are our Father. We are the clay, and You are the Potter. We all are formed by Your hand” (Isaiah 64:8 NLT). If we have a genuine, personal relationship with the Potter and humbly yield our will to His design, we’ll be blessed and have peace of mind. Until we want what God wants, we’re never going to be happy!

The Key: Yield the right-of-way to God so you won’t crash in life’s roundabout.

My student’s step-mother died this past week. “Jon” had been excited about an experimental medical procedure that would save his mom’s life, but something went wrong. When Jon returned to class, I shared with him how sorry I was. “She was the kindest person I’ve ever known,” he said. “She never had a bad word to say about anyone. It’s hard to understand why she had to die when so many jerks don’t.”

Jon began sharing how much his mom loved Jesus and lived for him. We discussed how much better her life is now compared to when she was suffering with a heart defect, but we both understood the genuine hurt felt when someone so dear dies. Jon recently had back surgery, and his father will soon have a surgery in which his small intestine will become his stomach. Clearly, this family has been asked to endure much.

And then there is Diana, my wheelchair-bound friend who watched her husband choke to death when the restaurant employees apologized because they weren’t allowed to perform any medical procedure, Heimlich included. Her unmarried daughter was diagnosed with cancer and will begin chemotherapy and radiation treatments this week.

This same week, Becky, my longtime friend from Ohio, texted that her younger son had died from complications following surgery in which his pancreas and spleen were removed, even though they had gone to one of the finest hospitals in the country. Her older son passed away three years ago from cancer. Becky cannot make phone calls because she lost her hearing five years ago. I cannot even tell her verbally how I hurt for her and her husband.

Too much. Too much. Sometimes, challenges seem too much to bear.

God knows that. He sees us shake our fists at Him, scream for answers when there appear to be none and watch our faith be shaken. I wonder how many millions of times He has listened to our tantrums and wanted to tell us that His ways are not our ways, that this trial needs to grow us, to bring us closer to Him. Perhaps this is the first time we have been on our knees in years (well, since the last time we were overwhelmed). Perhaps this is so others can watch us endure in order to give them hope. Perhaps we won’t know the “why’s” until we meet God face-to-face.

No one enjoys suffering, yet James tells us to “consider it pure joy” when we face trials. This makes no sense. Why would anyone rejoice in hardship? The answer is found in what trials produce. They develop perseverance. They strengthen faith. They teach dependence on God. Without trials, our faith remains shallow. With them, it grows deep and unshakable.

Becky knows all about that. Her final words in her text were these: “God answered my nightly, ongoing prayers that he doesn’t suffer terribly with a long, painful ending.” She ended by repeating herself: “God answered my prayers.”

He always does, sometimes in ways we find difficult to understand.

Marbles and Jokers is one of our favorite games.  Dave and I were introduced to it a few years ago and immediately became fans.  Since that time, most of the couples whom we taught to play have ordered the game for themselves and for their adult children.

Months ago, we had two couples over for dinner and taught them the game.  The following morning, one pair ordered the game for themselves.  We play marathon M&J every chance we can.

Today, while talking to my friend, Lael, a fellow M&J player, I shared with her that wonderful things seem to happen over dinner and that game.  She asked how many people had bought the game because of us.  I said about 30.  But then she asked me a question that made me realize the opportunity I was missing.

“Can you imagine sharing Jesus with 30 people over the course of the last few years?”  Granted, most of the people who have played this game with us are Christians, but some aren’t, and even though they know where we stand, why haven’t I been as determined to tell them about Heaven as I have been about teaching them a competitive game? Too, could Marbles and Jokers be the tool I use to do so?  Why do I make witnessing so difficult?

Finding the way to Christ is simple, and the “Romans Road”—seven scriptures in the Book of Romans—is a great path to get there.

3:10—There is no righteous person.

3:23—Everyone sins and comes short of the glory of God.

5:12—Sin (and death) entered the world through Adam’s sin; that death was passed to all of us.

6:23—Sin leads to death, but God gives the gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ.

5:8—God covered our sins by his son, Jesus’, death.

10:13— Whoever calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.

10:9-10 (NLT) “If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”

And yes, I understand that, unless the Holy Spirit inspires me, I would not share those seven scriptures with a non-believer I had invited over to play a game (not even if they were winning and I wanted them to go home).

There are simpler ways to witness. Our example, for…well, example.  This school year, I have had many opportunities to pray for faculty and students.  Sometimes, it is as simple as hearing their problems and asking how I can pray for them.  Other times, I drop them a note to tell them what a blessing they are to me or simply to encourage them, reminding them that God hears our prayers.

I have had deep conversations with students who were wounded by their parents, reminding them that we all are sinners and that God grieves when He sees parental figures abusing their children.  I have apologized to an entire class when I showed anger instead of doling out fair consequences, telling them that as a Christian, I failed to show mercy.

Lael’s question made me realize that I was missing an incredible opportunity.  After all, losing a game is nothing compared to losing our eternal lives.

Keys to the Kingdom
By Carolyn Tucker
Up a Creek

I have many fond memories of canoeing in Southwest Missouri during the first six years of our marriage. Jimmy and I would spend time alone or with friends/family floating the various rivers in the “Show-Me” State. These float-trip experiences varied, depending on how much rain the area had recently received. Jimmy would sit in the back of the canoe and I would be in the front. It took teamwork to navigate through the big rocks with the water gushing around them. From the back, my husband would scrutinize the situation ahead and say, “Go right,” etc. Although I couldn’t see him, I knew he was back there giving proper directions and doing his part to get us through safely.

As a country girl, I drank water from the hose, licked the new part of a salt block, ran barefooted on gravel, ate pickled pig’s feet, and drank cold well water from Aunt Pauline’s community dipper. I’d say I had a pretty strong constitution. Part of canoeing involves eating snacks along the way and my favorite was Vienna sausages (where I come from it’s pronounced VI-eenie). Once, with friends Leon and Linda floating behind us, I pulled out my can, opened it and, one by one, I would hold the tasty treat down in the river to rinse off the gelatin before I ate it. Leon was completely flabbergasted and, with eyes the size of saucers, said, “Don’t you know there’s cattle upstream?!”

There are times when believers feel like we’re up a creek without a paddle. But that’s never true. We’re to live by faith, not by our fickle feelings. We can’t trust feelings because they’re up one day and down the next — but we can always trust God and choose to hope. “God is my refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1 NIV). God’s not fickle. He’s the same yesterday, today, and forever – so that means He’s always with us, even when the lying devil tempts us to think we’re all alone.

Sometimes, when there’s a storm brewing and headed our way, we may feel like we’re up a creek without a paddle. But that’s when we simply hold on and trust Jesus to put His hands over ours as we keep paddling along. We can’t see Him but we know He’s doing His part. When we give Him the right of way, Jesus will get us safely through the storm. No one is going to capsize, lose everything, and drown on His watch. No sir!

“Have no fear, for I am with you; do not be looking about in trouble, for I am your God; I will give you strength, yes, I will be your helper; yes, my true right hand will be your support” (Isaiah 41:10 BBE). So, when you’re in trouble, don’t throw away your paddle! Once on a float trip with our church group, one of the guys got so angry (because he and his wife had to pick up their canoe and carry it a lot) he threw his paddle onto the rocks! It was kinda’ like when Moses smashed the first set of Ten Commandments. We have to give God something to work with – don’t throw in the paddle – don’t give up!

Canoeing is comparable to our journey of life. Some parts of the river are smooth and relaxing and some are rough and nerve-racking. No matter the circumstances, Jesus is with us. “And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20 NLT). Jesus will be with His followers to the end of “their” age and then throughout all eternity. Although I’ve got rhythm, I never learned to dance or do cartwheels, but this red-letter scripture promise makes me want to do both!

The Key: Believers need to keep their chin up and keep paddling. It’ll be worth it.

Have you ever been called to “love the unlovely”?  You know, like Jesus did.  I recently realized how hard that really is…not because I can’t love the unlovely but because sometimes they don’t love me.  People I know have been disappointed in me, and my Christian character has been ridiculed.  Compared to how I felt when a dear friend said that I didn’t mask my double-chin well when I delivered my Tedx Talk or how another addressed my unflattering outfit or when someone shared that I overdid my makeup at my book signing, and I bet you know which hurt worse.

Yep, when my Christian character was maligned.

I want desperately to please God.  I do.  I want people to see in me a joy, a peace, a freedom, so infectious that they ask my secret.  That doesn’t always happen.

Today was the exception.  A sweet, young waitress told me that I make a difference in her life, that every time she waits on me, she feels that she has someone in her corner.  Her grandparents and father are deceased, and her mother is an addict.  She, a divorcee, has young children and struggles being a good mother, but, she said, she believes that I care.  She is right.  From the first time she waited on me, I knew there was something in her I admired.

She is lovely, personable, hard-working and determined to give her children a better life.  She asked if we could exchange phone numbers.  Of course we could, and we did.  She explained that she wants to leave her present job and move into something more fulfilling, something that would provide better for her kids.  I assured her that I would try and make that happen.

Then she said something I did not expect.  “I am pregnant.”  She spoke about how amazing the father is, how he treats her well, but how she knows things now are more complicated in her hunt for a new job.  I couldn’t help but think, “Would Jesus call this complicated?”  Absolutely not.  He loved everyone, even those who think they disappoint. No story reflected that better than when Jesus met the Samaritan woman at the well.

According to John 4:1-42, she, the lowest of the low, an unmarried female of a race despised by Jews, meets Jesus on his way to Galilee.  His disciples are in town buying food when Jesus asks this woman, coming to draw water from the well, for a drink. In that era, women drew water in groups in the morning, but this outcast drew water alone midday.

The Samaritan woman questions how this man can ask her, a woman, for a drink.  Jesus’ responses confound her as he explains that he offers “living water,” the kind that leads to eternal life, to everyone. The dialogue continues until Jesus switches gears and reveals that she has been married five times and is not married to her current affair.  Still, he offers her a chance. She then gets it: she who has disappointed for as long as she can remember is talking to the Messiah.  And he’s not disappointed.

When this woman believed, she immediately ran off to tell others. Her words made an impact. As Scripture tells us, “Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony.”

Loving the unlovely is Jesus’ way.  My job is to love those who don’t love me, those who judge me or criticize me, to see them as Jesus does, so they can know him too.

Along the way, I hope I don’t disappoint.