Keys to the Kingdom By Carolyn Tucker

Long Black Limousine

The song “Long Black Limousine” was composed circa 1958 by country musicians/songwriters Edwin Braden and Bobby George. The song was recorded by various artists but it didn’t really go anywhere until Elvis Presley recorded his soulful  version for the “From Elvis in Memphis” album in 1969. “Long Black Limousine” then gained massive popularity. It took 11 years for the right voice to truly bring it home

Here are the lyrics: There’s a long line of mourners driving down our little street. Their fancy cars are such a sight to see, oh yeah. They’re all your rich friends who knew you in the city and now they’ve finally brought you, brought you home to me. When you left you know you told me that someday you’d be returnin’ in a fancy car, all the town to see, oh yeah. Well now everyone is watching you, you finally had your dream, yeah. You’re ridin’ in a long black limousine. You know the papers told of how you lost your life, oh yeah. The party, the party and the fatal crash that night. Well the race along the highway, oh the curve you didn’t see. When you’re riding in that long black limousine. Through tear-filled eyes I watch as you pass by, oh yeah. A chauffeur, a chauffeur at the wheel dressed up so fine. Well I never, I never, never, never oh my heart, all my dreams yeah, they’re with you in that long black limousine.

A few days ago I provided the music for a memorial service at one of the local funeral homes.  As is my custom, I took notice of the classic black hearse parked under the portico as I entered the west door. After the service, I couldn’t seem to get that hearse off of my mind. So a few days later I called Mike, who has owned the funeral home since 1988, and asked him a few questions about the long black 1996 Cadillac Fleetwood hearse. He told me it has a 454 engine (same as the Corvette Stingray), runs on premium fuel, and the mileage is under 100,000. The big-block V8 is a robust engine that’s capable of moving a substantial load at low speeds and can also accelerate smoothly without straining the drivetrain. The empty hearse weighs about 4,450 lbs. and fully loaded could weigh close to 5,230.

A Cadillac is not built in the GM factory as a hearse, but is converted by a coachbuilder on a modified chassis, based on a limousine-type vehicle with extensive structural and functional changes to meet funeral-specific needs. Even though other makes of vehicles are now sometimes used for hearses, the Cadillac has a long history (since 1916) and is the dominant and consistent choice for that respectful final ride.

The most traditional color for a hearse is black. This color has long been associated with grief, solemnity, and respect. The black finish also conveys a sense of formality and dignity which aligns with the proper nature of funerals. However, a silver finish is a contemporary and elegant choice. In 1977, a white Cadillac hearse symbolizing “new life” was chosen to transport Elvis Presley from Graceland to the mausoleum at Forest Hill Cemetery in Memphis. In fact, 16 white Cadillac limousines were brought in from all over the United States for this “state-like” funeral procession of 49 vehicles.

I found all of this information to be fascinating. But a scripture of great importance is: “Everyone must die once, and after that be judged by God” (Hebrews 9:27 GNT). Statistics prove that we’re not going to get out of here alive. Believers must live with a daily commitment to Christ and an eternal perspective.

The Key: Make sure you know where you’re headed before you take that one-way ride to eternity.

Keys to the Kingdom
By Carolyn Tucker

Giggle Boxes

Mrs. Zula Oldham, my third-grade teacher at Stockton, was my dad’s first cousin. She taught for 38 years and was a favorite educator for a multitude of students. I found my best friend and “partner in laughter” in her third-grade classroom! Mrs. Oldham called Jonita and I “giggle boxes.” And sixty years later, we’re still living up to our nicknames. Whenever we’re together, we have an uncommon way of finding hysterical humor in ordinary life that a normal person wouldn’t even notice or think was funny.

Some people have a generous helping of humor and I believe everyone should embrace laughter as a gift from God. Laughter uplifts the spirit, strengthens relationships, and causes you to forget the rough day you just experienced. There’s plenty of scientific evidence that laughter is delightful medicine for the soul. “A cheerful disposition is good for your health; gloom and doom leave you bone-tired” (Proverbs 17:22 MSG). Let’s do our best to get on with life by playing a duet of optimism and humor. Why not see your glass as half full rather than half empty… and laugh uncontrollably every chance you get!

“We laughed and laughed and overflowed with gladness. We were left shouting for joy and singing Your praise” (Psalm 126:2 TPT). When things go awry in church they are usually funnier than anywhere else. Generally speaking, we’re to worship God in reverential fear and awe. But when you know you’re not supposed to laugh, it makes it worse when trying to hold it in. Sometimes you just have to laugh when you’re wired that way. Once, when I was in my teens and the church pianist, Dad was leading the song service and the unexpected happened right in front of everybody. The praise and worship experience erupted in laughter when Dad’s clip-on tie fell off during the singing!

In the Old Testament, Bildad told Job: “God will once again fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy” (Job 8:21 NLT). Combining humor and faith, Christian author and inspirational speaker, Barbara Johnson says, “Laughter dulls the sharpest pain and flattens out the greatest stress. To share it is to give a gift of health.”

“God blesses you who weep now, for in due time you will laugh” (Luke 6:21b NLT). Every follower of Jesus is a learner, student, representative, and ambassador of Christ. And as long as we live in a fallen world we will all experience the sorrows of life, which include mourning the loss of loved ones. Because of the words, “in due time,” I prefer the New Living Translation for this scripture. When the time of weeping has come and gone, God will be faithful to restore our laughter. He can restore anyone because He’s the Master Creator and He loves people more than anything.

“Indeed, if a man should live many years, let him rejoice in them all….” (Ecclesiastes 11:8 NASB). You are responsible; you have a part to play for ensuring that you rejoice and enjoy all the days of your life – just like you’re responsible for brushing your teeth. Happiness, joy, contentment, and laughter should permeate throughout your life so that it’s present everywhere like a honeysuckle fragrance, a warm-and-fuzzy feeling, or an upbeat attitude.

The Key: Stop blaming God, your family, your friends, or your circumstances for your lack of laughter. If you have to, learn to laugh — like you learned to ride a bicycle.

Keys to the Kingdom By Carolyn Tucker

Successful Failure

Mom loved to make people happy with her home-cooked country meals. The one I remember most, and treasure the highest, was her fried quail, mashed potatoes, biscuits and gravy, sweet tea, and chocolate pie from scratch. As a youngster, I often helped her in the kitchen, but she was leery about me using a knife. She simply didn’t trust me to accomplish the task without cutting myself. I remember being willing to slice potatoes, but she wouldn’t allow me to do it. I was probably in high school when she finally let me to use a sharp knife. Because of her training, I’ve always had a healthy fear of knives. After all these years, I can remember only one time that I cut my finger with an electric knife. I blamed it on being tired and pregnant.

Having a reverential fear and awe of God will help keep believers from hurting themselves (morally and spiritually) as they navigate life. The Word of God is often referred to as an owner’s manual, instruction book, map, etc. I’m sure the owner’s manual for my electric knife included, “Unplug knife before removing blades.” There are times when we throw caution out the window, make an unwise decision, disappoint God, and foolishly hurt ourselves. John Wayne would say, “Live and learn or die stupid.”

I’m so thankful God made a way for Christ followers to receive healing for the wounds of our failures. John the Beloved wrote: “You are my dear children, and I write these things to you so that you won’t sin. But if anyone does sin, we continually have a forgiving Redeemer who is face-to-face with the Father. Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world” (1 John 2:1-2 TPT). This is not rocket science because God knows we’re mortal beings with limited understanding. It’s grace-and-mercy science. I appreciate this encouraging passage on how to live a successful, victorious life. We’re cautioned, “Don’t sin. But if you do, ask for forgiveness, receive it, and get on with your life in Christ.”

“If we boast that we have no sin, we’re only fooling ourselves and are strangers to the truth. But if we freely admit our sins when His light uncovers them, He will be faithful to forgive us every time. God is just to forgive us our sins because of Christ, and He will continue to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:8-9 TPT). Walking daily in God’s light is sweet fellowship at its highest. We all fall down at times, so while we’re down and on our knees, that’s when we turn to Jesus for mercy. Thankfully, our Redeemer continually turns failure into success when we ask for His forgiveness.

Jon Mohr and John Randall Dennis penned the lyrics to the song, “More than Anything.”  The recording, released in 1995 by Point of Grace, is a powerful reminder of God’s steadfast love for all people: “God loves the weary when they’re too weak to try. He feels their pain, He knows their shame. He cries with those who cry. He won’t give up or walk away when other people do ‘cause God loves people more than anything. God loves the wounded who’ve stumbled into sin. He reaches down and pulls them out and cleans them off again. And He will heal the broken heart that’s given up on love ‘cause God loves people more than anything. God loves people more than anything, God loves people more than anything. And more than anything He wants them to know He’d rather die than let them go ‘cause God loves people more than anything.”

The Key: Believers need a reverential fear of God so we won’t sin. But if we do, He knows how to take a failure and turn it into a success. Because God loves people more than anything.

Keys to the Kingdom

By Carolyn Tucker

Forget About Your “But”

Some individuals just don’t know how to receive a compliment.  For example, I might say, “You look good in that shirt,” and the friend responds, “Thanks, but I didn’t have time to iron it and there’s a button missing.” Or, “You did a great job playing that song,” and the person says, “Are you deaf? I played the first verse right, but I messed up on the second verse.” Or, “You did a fantastic job of driving in the race,” only to hear, “Yeah, but I finished second.” The word “but” is often the beginning of a negative response to a compliment.

Throw your “but” to the wind and do something for God! In the Book of Exodus, God was trying to get Moses to free the Israelites and lead them out of Egypt. “But Moses protested to God, ‘Who am I to appear before Pharaoh? Who am I to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt?’” (Exodus 3:11 NLT). God told Moses that He would be with him. “But Moses protested…” (Exodus 3:13 NLT). Then God told Moses exactly what to say to the elders of Israel and assured him that they would accept his message. “But Moses protested again…” (Exodus 4:1 NLT). Then God told Moses that the people would believe what he said because of the miraculous signs God would perform through Moses. “But Moses pleaded with the Lord…” (Exodus 4:10 NLT). Then God told Moses that He would be with him as he speaks and would instruct him in what to say. “But Moses again pleaded, ‘Lord, please! Send anyone else.’ Then the Lord became angry with Moses.” We know how the story ends, but it wore me out just to type all of the “buts” of Moses.

God doesn’t like it when all you can think about is your but. When God tells you to do something, He doesn’t want to hear about all your “buts.” There’s no room for any buts in your relationship with God. When believers ridiculously respond to God’s instructions with, “But, God, I’m a woman,” or “But, God, I’m too busy to do that,” or “But God, I don’t know how to do that,” do you really think you’re telling God something He doesn’t already know? Whatever He asks you to do, He’ll equip you to do it (if He hasn’t already done it). Just save your breath if all you’re going to speak are excuses.

Sisera was an enemy to the Israelites and one day during a battle, he knocked on Jael’s (a woman) tent door. She welcomed the exhausted man in, gave him milk to drink, and graciously covered him with a blanket. When he fell asleep, she quietly crept up to him with a hammer and tent peg in her hands. She pounded the peg through his temple and into the ground. He died. This story in Judges chapter 4 contains no “buts” from Jael. She was simply brave and willing to help bring God’s promised victory to the Israelites.

In Judges chapter 6, we find that the Israelites had sinned, so the Lord handed them over to the cruel Midianites for seven years. One day the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon and paid him a compliment, “’Mighty hero, the Lord is with you!’ The Lord said, ‘Go with the strength you have, and rescue Israel from the Midianites. I am sending you!’ ‘But Lord,’ Gideon replied, ‘how can I rescue Israel? My clan is the weakest in the whole tribe of Manasseh, and I am the least in my entire family!’ The Lord said to him, ‘I will be with you. And you will destroy the Midianites as if you were fighting against one man.’”

As Christ followers our job is to obey not argue.

 The Key: When God asks you to do something, leave your “but” out of it and just do it!

Keys to the Kingdom

By Carolyn Tucker

Wasabi vs Guacamole

From the time I was born until I was five years old, my family lived in California. We had an avocado tree in our back yard and my family enjoyed eating that fruit/veggie. My favorite way to eat an avocado is simply peeled, sliced, and salted. I make homemade guacamole simply by smashing it with a fork and adding salt. In 2008, we took a family vacation to Gulf Shores, Alabama, and on one of our outings we dined at a Japanese buffet. As I made my food choices, I spotted a big batch of guacamole and scooped a big pile onto my plate and joined my hubby and kids at the table. WOW! Did I get a surprise! This was not guacamole; it was wasabi, which is a Japanese word that means green, creamy FIRE! It instantly brought on a sharp mouth-burning and sinus-clearing heat that was unbelievable! My family found my stupidity to be quite humorous. I can’t remember if my tears were from laughing or pain – probably both.

Looks sure can be deceiving! If I’d used my brain, I would have known that this green creamy stuff would not be guacamole since I wasn’t in a Mexican restaurant. Not everything that glitters is gold.

In writing to the church of Galatia, apostle Paul packs a great punch of strong flavor to the Christ followers there.“Do not be deceived and deluded and misled; God will not allow Himself to be sneered at (scorned, disdained, or mocked by mere pretensions or professions, or by His precepts being set aside). [He inevitably deludes himself who attempts to delude God.] For whatever a man sows, that and that only is what he will reap” (Galatians 6:7 AMP). Believers are not to be fooled, mistaken, led astray, or tricked. No one mocks the justice/ways of God and gets by with it. Whatever you sow, that’s what you’ll get. You’ll reap exactly what you plant.

God’s Word declares what sin is, but our culture persists in being mislead by redefining the truth. And Christ followers must not be guilty of ignoring the holy scriptures either. I could have sat in that Japanese restaurant and beat my fist on the table and screamed that I was eating guacamole, but it wouldn’t have changed the truthful facts that I had been deceived. My mouth was painfully reaping what I had planted in it. We must be on high alert and remember that God’s love, mercy, grace, and divine forgiveness cannot alter His law of sowing and reaping.

God would not be God if we could sow evil and reap good. Believers can’t afford to be misled by thinking we can change God’s theology in the way He operates. There’s a rich payoff in prayerfully studying His Word. Everything that God declares can be taken to the bank. Since God cannot be outwitted, no one should be deceived in thinking that he/she can dodge the consequences of a dimwitted choice.

It’s been said: “A man is free to choose, but is not free to choose the consequences of his choice.” I was free to choose whatever I wanted from the buffet. I made one foolish mistake and suffered the consequences immediately. Could I have avoided making this wrong choice? Yes, by considering what ethnic restaurant I was in and then using common sense.

The Key: Carefully evaluate everything that seems to be too good to be true.

By Patty LaRoche

By the time God got around to creating Adam and Eve, He must have been in a jolly good mood. Time to have some fun, He told Himself. Why else would He create a kajillion differences between the two genders? He factored in not just the DNA (reminder: women are XX, the more balanced of the two, while men are XY), but basically every conceivable variance.

Take, for instance, golfing. Dave and I now have a home with a backyard view of the golf course, and we have been fascinated by the difference in how the two sexes team up to play the game. If there are six men golfing, six carts will be used, but if six women are playing, they will sit on each other’s laps to share a cart. Okay, that’s an exaggeration, but at the most, for six women there will be two or three carts, not six.

Cart use is not the only difference. Women, unlike men, will visit about dozens of things other than their score while playing the game. That’s because women are all about relationships, not goals. Men? Nope. They will know who hit a birdie or an eagle, what the handicaps are, or who got a promotion, but nothing about who is getting married or who is in the hospital or how many grandchildren the other men have (unless, of course, those grandkids are scratch golfers).

Wives of golfers often discuss how little their husbands learn about their golfing buddies after spending hours with them on the course. “What did you learn today?” is a silly question to ask their husbands because the only thing on which Hubby focused was who golfed well and who did not. Women, on the other hand, will come home with news about everyone’s personal life, news their husbands do not care to hear.

To prove my point, a majority of Fortune 1000 CEOs said they did business with a golf partner. Correspondingly, 400 out of 500 Fortune 500 executives said that golf gave their careers a boost. For males, golf appears to be goal-oriented.

Perhaps that’s why golfer James Murray said, “Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.”

That’s not to say that golf cannot aid females in the work world. My daughter-in-law Kira recently applied to be a pilot for a private flying company. When the C.E.O. asked her what hobbies she has, Kira said that she has taken up golf.

“I hate golf,” the owner said. “Too much time spent trying to do something that can’t be done.” Kira was sharp. “Then we both have that in common because I hate it too.” Kira got the job.

When I asked my golfing sons about the six-cart issue, they said that it speeds up the game because each man drives his own cart to wherever his ball is. If two men share one cart, they have to drive to two different locations—which takes time (time women will use to discuss their families and build friendships).

I wonder if God just shakes His head when He watches His creation display their differences in something as simple as driving a golf cart. Or maybe He just smiles. Yes, I think I’ll go with that one.