Keys to the Kingdom

By Carolyn Tucker

Be Winsome and Win Some

Winsome is not an adjective we often use in our speech, but we should try to incorporate it into our daily conduct. The definition of winsome is being attractive or appealing in character. It’s a quality that makes someone want to be around us and enjoys our company. No one minds being around a person that’s engaging, sweet, endearing, charming, delightful, or winning.

As believers, we must be winsome if we intend to win some to Christ. It’s been said that you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Showing love and mercy to others is the honey we need in order to be attractive. “If any of them [nonbelievers] do not believe God’s word, your conduct will win them over to believe. It will not be necessary for you to say a word, because they will see how pure and reverent your conduct is” (1 Peter 3:1,2 TEV). I like to talk, but sometimes it’s a good idea to save my breath and simply show love and mercy instead. (Then I don’t have to take my foot out of my mouth.)

It would be a good idea to make a mental checklist to ensure we love when others hate, and forgive when others hold grudges. When we build a bridge to someone, we’re  actually building a relationship with that individual. Becoming a winsome friend to the “down and out” can result in winning him/her to Christ. Friendly and caring conduct can actually win someone without sharing a truckload of Bible verses. We need to put our money where our mouth is in order to prove we walk the walk.

Jesus quoted this verse from the Old Testament: “I want you to show love, not offer sacrifices” (Hosea 6:6a NLT). God desires His children to have flexible hearts of compassion. Apostle Paul wrote to the Church of Philippi and instructed them to fasten their thoughts continually on what is truly important. “Whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them]” (Philippians 4:8 AMP). This translation uses the word “winsome,” and I like that. We need to think about how we can be winsome so we can win some to Christ.

“Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. Cheerfully share your home with those who need a meal or a place to stay” (1 Peter 4:8,9 NLT).  I believe Peter and his wife were hospitable, and a great tool to win some to Jesus is to feed some. My relative, Joanne Montgomery Jones, authored a book entitled, A Time to Laugh…A Time to Cry, and here is my favorite quote: “Today, hospitality has become so ’dutiful.’ Menus are carefully planned, shopping must be done, and tables must be set immaculately. Have we, somewhere along the way, lost the pure joy of sharing our food, our love, and our time with our friends? Chipped plates, glasses that once contained jelly or peanut butter, and worn mismatched silverware graced our table, but the love and laughter that abounded there far surpassed anything that might be achieved by today’s hostess following the rules of Emily Post.”

The Key: Let’s be winsome and win some for the Kingdom of Heaven.

Friends cautioned me that “times are different.”  They were right.  In my first week of substitute teaching, an administrator was called to remove a student from the classroom. In the twenty years I had taught, I made such a call only one time.  And here I was, in my third day of subbing, and I could not control a student who chose to act up, non-stop.

I tried all the teacher tricks, silently questioning how the actual, full-time teacher handled this child, but when I finally had him stand outside the classroom door and he began licking the door’s window, I knew that, yes, times are very different.

Two periods later, I had him again, and he was great.  Perhaps he had a twin with the same name?  I could not believe the difference.  I praised him for being so well-behaved and told him how much I appreciated him acting so well.  When he showed up for a third class, I expected the same.  It did not happen.  He was wired.  Disruptive.  Rude.  Loud.  Very, very loud.  What had happened to the quiet, attentive boy from the previous class?

Once again, I asked him to leave the classroom and sit by the door.  He chose to walk down the hall… and told me there was nothing I could do about it.  Sadly, he was right.  Gone were the days when a teacher could grab a child’s arm, when students respected (perhaps feared?) authority, when a call home meant double-trouble for the child instead of a complaint to the principal about the teacher.

Today’s educators are saints.

I always knew that subbing was a challenge (which is why I told my students that if they misbehaved for a sub, I would double their detention.)  Rarely, if ever, did I have a problem.  Clearly, the times…they are a changin’. Who/what’s to blame?  Is it social media?  Parents who refuse to hear the teacher’s side?  Who want to be their child’s friend?

Don’t get me wrong.  Many students were on task and well-behaved.  Two said “thank you” when I handed out an assignment. One even tried to quiet my disruptive student by saying, “Stop it.  She’s a good sub.”  (I wanted to hug him.)

Most teachers work hard to help raise up our children, to challenge and encourage them to learn.  And while the rest of us have an end to our work day, teachers don’t have that luxury.  Papers need to be graded and the next day needs to be organized.  As for administrators, they have their hands full, dealing with unruly students and their parents, encouraging teachers and keeping up with government standards for school management.

When I reflected on my sub experience, I had to wonder how God does it.  God, who deals with nothing but unruly children, who has no “one size fits all” form of discipline. God, who knows His children and what moves them to behave.  Do they need a friend to come alongside and challenge them?  He sends that person.  (Think of the servants who told Naaman, the leper, to get rid of his pride and wash in dirty water as Elisha instructed him.)

Do they need a kick in the kazoo?  (Think of Paul who, on his way to persecute Christians, was blinded.)  Do they need a gentle touch?  (Think of the disciples who were calmly admonished when they could not stay awake and support Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.)  Do they need encouragement?  (Think of those same men being told not to fear persecution and death.)  Do they just need a “Hang in there, Child” message? (Think of you and me, waiting on unanswered prayer.)

God amazes me.  Still, I have to wonder if He ever had to deal with someone who licked the window.  I’m thinking he might have laughed.

Maybe I should have tried that.