Tag Archives: featured

FSNHS Scavenger Hunt Rescheduled to August 12

Submitted by Fort Scott National Historic Site

Fort Scott NHS has rescheduled its Scavenger Hunt to this Saturday, August 12, at 1 p.m. Intense thunderstorms and lightning caused the event, originally planned for last Saturday, to be cancelled for safety reasons.

Fort Scott National Historic Site hopes everyone who planned to attend previously will participate on the new date. Hopes are high that the weather will cooperate. The event will be fun for all ages and prizes will be awarded for the first and second place teams.

All participants are encouraged to show up 10 minutes early with their cell phone or camera. Contestants will be given a list of clues directing them to certain items that tell a story about the rich history of the site. Participants will then take photos of the corresponding items. The winning team/individual will receive a $50 gift card, with $25 awarded to the second place finishers.

This fun event is being hosted by the Youth Engagement Team at Fort Scott National Historic Site in partnership with the Friends of the Fort. Thanks go to the Friends of the Fort for sponsoring the prizes. Call the Fort at 620-223-0310 with questions or for more information.

Dr. Phelps Retires from Mercy after 38 Years

Submitted by Tina Rockhold, Mercy Hospital

Dave Phelps M.D. retired from Mercy Hospital Fort Scott on August 1. He has been on staff in various capacities since July 1, 1979, when he and Dr. Randy Nichols joined the medical staff and the Basham-McKenna clinic after completing Family Practice Residency training at Wesley Medical Center.

Photo Credit: Mercy Hospital. Marilyn Sipe (left), executive assistant, and Reta Baker (right), Mercy Hospital Fort Scott president, wish Dr. Dave Phelps farewell during his retirement celebration.

Dr. Phelps practiced Family Medicine with Obstetrics and also developed his practice with an emphasis on Geriatrics, having Additional Qualifications in Geriatrics certificates granted. In 1996 when Fort Scott Family Physicians integrated with Mercy Health System, he served first as Medical Director, and later Chief Medical Officer for both Fort Scott and Independence. To be effective in that role he earned a Masters Degree in Medical Management from Tulane University. In 2003 he returned to active practice in Fort Scott fulltime as an Emergency Physician and was Physician ER Director until just recently as he made plans to retire from practice. As such, his career has concluded after 38 years of service to the Fort Scott community.

“When Randy Nichols and I came with our spouses, Karen and Deb, to Fort Scott to see the opportunity here, we just fell in love with the community,” Dr. Phelps says. “It was a very good idea. I remember when Dr. Basham retired in 1981, the Tribune asked him in an interview to list the greatest changes he had seen in health care in his practice. He practiced from the mid 1940s to 1980. I remember he named three: the development of vaccination and winning the fight with polio, the development and use of antibiotics including Penicillin, and finally, the practice of delivering babies at the hospital rather than at home.”

Dr. Phelps went on to say, “That got me thinking how I would answer the same question, with my practice from 1979 to 2017. Naturally there have been many advances in surgical technique and treatments, but I think what has changed is how we do things rather than what we do. Three things come to my mind about this: first, the development of the system-wide Electronic Medical Record allowing us access to a more complete information base regarding a patient, wherever we see them. This often includes their visits to other health facilities in Kansas.

“Second is the idea of Evidence-Based Medicine. Treatment choices now are based on scientific studies based on patient’s outcomes, rather than just ‘expert’ opinion in the field. This has changed a lot of medical practices. Such information is immediately available to doctors on line and updated every six months.

“Finally, the last is I think a mixed blessing. At the beginning of my career, individual and small group practices were the way to go. People usually identified a particular physician as ‘my doctor.’ But now, small practices are very hard to make successful, especially for primary care doctors. I firmly believe the development of health systems and taking care of patients in a team approach is absolutely necessary these days. It can be very effective. But, I kind of miss the relationships I had with so many fine people and the sense they thought of me as their doctor. That relationship could be powerful medicine sometimes.”

Upon his retirement Dr Phelps plans to spend more time with his wife Deb, do some sailing, a little fishing with friends and travel around a bit.

He said, “I’ll never forget Fort Scott and my friends there. It’s been a great place to practice.”

Mercy administration is currently recruiting a replacement for Dr. Phelps. In the interim, the Mercy Fort Scott’s Emergency Department is staffing with contractual physicians trained in emergency medicine.

 

Fort Scott Airport Faces Growth Opportunity

With the rise of a special opportunity, the Fort Scott Municipal Airport may see an increase in traffic as well as in the size of the airport in upcoming years.

For some time, airport director Kenny Howard has made efforts to grow the local airport in order to attract more traffic and bring new revenue to the city and county, but was always forced to wait because of lack of city funding and not meeting Federal Aviation Administration requirements for FAA grants.

But during the Fort Scott City Commission’s meeting Tuesday night, City Manager Dave Martin, Economic Development Direct Rachel Pruitt and Howard presented what Martin referred to as an “exciting” and “scary” opportunity for the city.

Pruitt said a key part of aviation is maintenance, repair and overhaul (MRO) services, an industry growing in size and importance in the country as such companies work with airports to provide repairs for jets such as those that fly into Fort Scott.

One of those companies, Spectra jet, Inc., out of Springfield, Ohio, has expressed interest in expanding their company to include a station at Fort Scott. But for that to be a possibility, Fort Scott would have to commit to a runway expansion in order to be able to house the Learjet and Challenger models Spectra services.

“It’s opened up a lot of opportunities for us,” Pruitt said, saying already they have heard of individuals interested in bringing a restaurant to the airport, while additional hangars and a pilot’s lounge could also be added.

“This would be a great opportunity for our community,” Howard said of the expansion and the attraction it would be to other businesses.

Pruitt said she is already looking into state and federal grants the city could pursue since the expansion would bring about an economic impact on the city as well as the airport.

During the meeting, the commission approved a master agreement with Olsson Associates and a work order of $43,000 for the initial steps of allowing them to complete topographical and other surveys to determine what will need to be done at the airport in preparation for such an expansion.

Diane Hofer, airport program leader for Olsson Associates, said they have done many other airport projects such as this.

“It’s definitely a good industry to bring into town,” Hofer said of the possible expansion and addition.

If the city commits to the runway expansion, Spectra could bring their business to the area even before the project is complete, servicing jets currently able to use the runway.

KOMB-FM Welcomes New Personality

With the beginning of high school and college athletics approaching, Fort Scott residents will soon hear a new voice broadcasting the sports over the radio as Brandon Tadtman continues to transition into his position with KOMB-FM radio.

In April, Tadtman sought part-time work with the local radio station, in large part because his father was now living in Fort Scott after completing his first season as the Fort Scott Community College’s womens’ basketball coach. But instead of getting those part-time hours, Tadtman was given a full-time job due to the departure of personality Larry Gazaway, who took on the city’s director of tourism position.

After having spent the previous six months working outside of the radio business in Kansas City, Tadtman quickly transitioned into working the morning shift for KOMB-FM of Fort Scott, being on the air 6 to 9 a.m.

“I was thrown in pretty quickly into the fire,” Tadtman says, saying he only had a few days to shadow Gazaway. “But now everything’s pretty smooth. It’s been good.”

Tadtman first became aware of his interest in radio commentary as a sophomore high school student in his hometown of Winfield, a town of similar size to Fort Scott southeast of Wichita. When the high school hosted the 5A state softball tournament, Tadtman was asked by a friend to help provide color commentary. That opportunity and his fondness for sports led to his interest in pursuing that as a career.

While attending Kansas State University, Tadtman participated in the student-run radio station as the sports broadcaster, often traveling with the teams to call their games.

“I thought that was very beneficial to me,” Tadtman says of that opportunity, which allowed him to learn the ins and outs of radio as a student. “It was a really awesome experience.”

Upon his graduation, Tadtman continued to work in radio in Manhattan before taking on a more logistical job in Kansas City. But Tadtman realized he missed being on the radio and pursued a position in Fort Scott.

While used to being on air, Tadtman says his new position is different from his usual sports broadcasting as he now provides other news and frequently interviews guests to the station.

“It is a little bit different here,” Tadtman says. “I wasn’t used to being on the air as much as the DJ because I was strictly doing sports in Manhattan.”

While he has enjoyed the chance to gain experience in the station, Tadtman says he is especially looking forward to the upcoming sports activities and says he hopes the community will enjoy his sports broadcasting, where he has the most experience.

Because he spent much of his earlier years in a small town, Tadtman says that the transition to Fort Scott has not been difficult as he tries to familiarize himself with the town and its residents. He added that he is grateful for the positive feedback he has received.

“I appreciate the community taking me in and letting me be their person that provides the information that they need every day,” Tadtman says, adding he has enjoyed living in Fort Scott these first few months. “I appreciate the people of Fort Scott. They’ve welcomed me with open arms.”

Tadtman also says he has been grateful for an easy transition while working with the KOMB staff, and their acceptance of him and willingness to help him as he grew accustomed to the job and tried to add his own personality.

“Everyone here is nice and they have accepted me,” Tadtman says. “I couldn’t be more happy with how easy the transition was.”

A Playground for Fort Scott

“Build a new playground at the Mercy of Frank Halsey”

Presented by The Healthy Bourbon County Action Team

Underwritten by Janet Irby Braun and Family

Save the date and make plans to attend Bourbon County’s first ever Roast and Toast!

The evening of Saturday, August 19, at Liberty Theatre will be full of fun and laughter. The social hour starts at 6 p.m. with a cash bar and background music provided by Kansas City’s Private Stock. This will give attendees the opportunity to have pictures taken and buy a raffle ticket for a chance to win a $500 gift certificate to Tailwind Cyclists. Raffle tickets are only $3 each or four for $10. Crooner’s Lounge will provide a buffet of heavy hors d’oeuvres at 7 p.m. followed by entertainment and comedy in the form of a roast co-hosted by Larry Gazaway and Gregg Motley. Attendees are welcome to stay for music and dancing with Private Stock until 11 p.m.

The event will honor Frank Halsey for leading an initiative to bring multi-use trails to Gunn Park. Multi-use trails like those in Gunn Park have shown to have a positive impact on the economy and health outcomes. Frank Halsey spearheads three annual events each year that bring in outside participants, and their families, who patron local businesses, stay in local hotels, and eat at local restaurants. Not only do trails bring in outsiders, they have also shown to increase property value of homes and businesses located near them. You can show your support and purchase your tax-deductible tickets online at fortscott.com or at the Fort Scott Area Chamber of Commerce, 231 E. Wall Street Fort Scott, KS  66701. Tickets are $50 each.

One hundred percent of ticket and raffle sales will be going to fund a Multi-Sensory Playground at Ellis Park. The Youth Activities Team has worked hard to plan and raise resources for a playground that will be accessible by all youth, regardless of ability, and meet therapeutic needs for children with special needs. All our children deserve a safe place to play, regardless of ability. [See a concept of the Playground]

Many children in Bourbon County do not have access to recreational play. One of many families personally impacted is that of Ryan and Jessica Collier, the parents of a two-year-old daughter born with a very rare condition called Koolen de’Vries Syndrome. They have shared their story:

We are the Collier family! Ryan, Jess, and Carter. Ryan and I graduated from Fort Scott High

School, pursued some form of higher education, met each other and eventually got married in April 2012. Although our true journey began on April 10, 2015, when our lives would forever be changed with the birth of our daughter Carter! She came in a whirlwind, as my body was failing her, she too began to fail. We were blessed with a great team of doctors that reacted quickly and ensured that she would be fine.

While spending 41 days in the NICU after her birth, we were informed that she is ‘RARE’. Carter was diagnosed with Koolen de’Vries Syndrome, which for her is a micro-deletion on her 17th chromosome. Koolen-de Vries Syndrome is a genetic syndrome involving the 17th chromosome and is caused by a micro-deletion at 17q21.31 (including KANSL1 gene) or caused by a change or mutation of the KANSL1 gene. Individuals affected experience developmental delays and learning difficulties, and the syndrome can also cause a number of other health concerns. Many people living with KdVS have medical and educational issues including but not limited to developmental delays, heart conditions and epilepsy. The prevalence of the micro-deletion is now estimated at 1 in 55,000 individuals.

As soon as we were released from the hospital, Carter was enrolled in several programs that support her development through therapy. At the moment Carter, receives physical therapy and speech therapy, and also completes assessments to monitor her developmental progress. Carter has severe and mild hearing loss, so she gets to rock adorable hearing aids, has SMOs braces for her feet, and will be having open heart surgery in the fall to correct a hole in her heart. Even with all these huge obstacles to face at such a young age, Carter has one of the best personalities. She is typically very friendly and happy. Granted, she is still a 2 year old! She is strong-willed, independent and truly the KOOLest kid we know!

A sensory playground in Fort Scott would mean a great deal to our family. It would allow Carter to have access to outdoor recreation that fits her needs. It would help her to work on physical and sensory skills that she needs to improve on, as well as give her the opportunity to meet and play with new friends!

Patty LaRoche: Under His Wings

Stanley Jones tells a wonderful story of God’s love in his book, “Christian Maturity”: “A wildlife conservation officer drove past a grouse (a bird), in the center of the road, and he was surprised that she did not move when he swerved around her. He came back and saw in the meantime that six other cars had swerved around her, and still she did not move. When he came near, six little chicks ran out from under her wings.

“One of her wings was broken and her head was bloody. But she was saving others; herself she could not save.”

Psalm 36:7 reminds us that there is Another who provides winged protection in times of trouble. How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God! And the children of men take refuge in the shadow of Your wings. Ps. 118:8 takes it a flutter further: It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans.

Eighteen months ago, Judy, a precious friend in Christ with whom I had lost touch, began to phone and text me, asking me if everything was okay with my family members. In her prayer time, God continually brought their faces before her, telling her to pray. Recently she drove several hundred miles to come to my home, pray with me for my family and remind me of the spiritual battle going on around us. Judy’s in-my-face visit was to remind me to stay close to God by speaking blessings on family members so they would walk in Truth.

“Satan is seeking to control them and destroy their walks with God,” said my friend. It was real. It was intentional. It was alarming.

Later that week another Christian friend called to “catch up.” The conversation was light and funny until I shared what Judy had told me. Her response was solemn. “We all need to hear that. I don’t pray blessings on my son (who has walked away from his faith); I just complain about it.” My traveling friend’s warning had legs.

How many times had I tossed the token “bless the kiddies and the grand-kiddies” umbrella prayer into the clouds, hoping it would filter its way into Heaven? How many times had I dismissed the power of the “prayers” I was mumbling, not recognizing the power in conversation with God? How many times had I not prayed, ignoring the One whose wings cover me and my loved ones 24/7?

Like the grouse, the Lord put his broken life on the line so that we might be saved. In my case He didn’t stop there. He sent a friend with a wake-up call for me to take nothing for granted.

How much more did He need to do to get my attention?

Fort Scott Celebrates Sergeant Stubby

Fort Scott families and other individuals attended Stubby Day Saturday morning, celebrating Sergeant Stubby, one of the unsung heroes featured in the Lowell Milken Center and the most decorated military dog in United States history.

Families came with their canine friends as the center provided activities for both the pets and the children, including snacks, photo opportunities, a chance for the dogs to show off their tricks and face-painting by Fort Scott High School students.

Cathy Werling of the Lowell Milken Center told Sergeant Stubby’s story—how he was a stray discovered by a young man at Yale, and then was smuggled aboard a ship when the soldier was shipped overseas during World War I. Stubby assisted the soldiers by smelling poison gases in the air and even warning of German spies, being present for 17 battles before returning to the United States.

“Stubby was really a hero,” Werling told the children.

Local vendors and organizations such as Lee’s Paws and Claws were present, as was Jacy Jenkins, the director of outreach/partnerships for the Fun Academy Motion Studios, located in Columbus, Ga., in the United States with roots in Ireland, which is creating a movie about Stubby’s story.

Jenkins said Stubby’s tale is a captivating one because it starts with him as a stray dog who becomes a hero, an underdog story that can inspire children and families. With the 100th anniversary of the end of World War I approaching, Jenkins said the movie will also be educational in sharing information about the often lesser known world war.

The movie is expected to be shown on 3,000 screens in North America with its release on April 13, 2018. Currently 400 animators are working on the movie in both Paris and Montreal, where the production of the CGI movie is being done.

“This is just getting started,” Jenkins said of Stubby’s story, which may soon include three movies.

The teaser trailer for the first movie can be seen here. Lead voice actors include Helena Bonham Carter, Logan Lerman and Gerard Depardieu. Patrick Doyle, popular for music score from movies such as Thor, Brave, the live-action Cinderella and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, will be the movie’s composer.

KState Extension: Reflections of County Fair

Submitted by: Carla Nemecek, Southwind District Director & Agent

My 20th county fair is officially in the books. I spent the first seven years in Haskell County, Kan., and have been in Allen County since 2005. When the Southwind District formed in 2010, I was given the privilege of working with two more counties, Neosho and Bourbon. As one of your District Extension Agents, I can tell you that it is truly a relief to be on the backside of the county fair and it gives me an opportunity to reflect and think about those folks who help make our 4-H program successful.

I don’t want to bore you with the details of planning and getting ready for the county fair, but rather take an opportunity to thank those key individuals who take the time to volunteer and make our county fairs successful. Each of the counties in the Southwind District have specific key people who make sure our kids are getting an education in their projects and having fun at the same time. In Neosho County, the livestock leaders conducted project meetings that drew in youth to the fairgrounds, teaching them about livestock husbandry and showmanship to prepare them for the upcoming contests. I admire the time and dedication these leaders give to the kids and I know it takes away from an evening or a weekend at home with family, yet they give to our 4-H program time and again. In Bourbon County, members of the fair board built a new covered pavilion and dedicated it to a long-time Friend of 4-H. The pavilion was used for folks to gather during the fair and the 4-H dance was held there, too. This is an addition to the fairgrounds that will be a valuable resource for many years. In Allen County, not only did we try a completely new fair schedule, but we were also given financial support from County Commissioners to repair and rebuild structures on the fairgrounds that will be used for generations to come. Phase one of this five-year project saw a much needed new roof on the sheep and goat barn. I also have to say thank you to the Livestock Boosters who make sure that all of our 4-H youth who are members in good standing receive additional premiums for their livestock projects.

The Southwind District also had the good fortune to hire summer interns in each county. Dacey worked in Fort Scott and hosted a barn quilt workshop which resulted in many barn quilts being displayed in each county. Kendle worked in Erie and organized a much needed photography clinic to teach youth how to take better photos for personal and 4-H use. In Iola, we worked with Zoey who prepared a tie blanket workshop and then donated those blankets to Hope Unlimited.

On a personal note, I also want to thank my family and close friends who help me get through the fair season. Without their support through all hours of the day, there is no way to mark off every item on the daily “to do” list. I have an amazing job, but it is really a community of people who make it fun. Thank you all!!

Inaugural Wine Stroll Draws Crowd

Almost 250 people participated in Fort Scott’s first Hit the Bricks Wine Stroll Friday night, as local and out-of-town wineries displayed their wares and gave samples to ticket-holders walking along downtown Fort Scott.

The event hosted not just wineries from other cities such as Overland Park, Topeka and Parsons, but also provided a venue for local artists to show and sell their art. Food vendors were also there. The evening also included live music with the weekly Friday night concert and ended with a performance by country artist Blane Howard.

About 135 people registered early while a steady stream of others purchased tickets that evening. Profits from the ticket sales benefited the Mercy Health Foundation of Fort Scott.

Scavenger Hunt and Selfie Contest to be held at Fort Scott NHS

Submitted by the Fort Scott National Historic Site

Join in the fun at the Old Fort before it is time to go back to school. Fort Scott NHS announces its first-ever “Selfie” contest, going on now. You can win $50 just for snapping a picture of yourself at the Fort. Also coming up, the Fort is holding its second annual Scavenger Hunt; new and improved and twice as much fun as last year. The Scavenger Hunt takes place on Saturday, August 5 at 1 p.m. Prizes will be awarded for the first and second place teams.

2016 Scavenger Hunt

The Fort Scott NHS Youth Engagement Team has created a brand new “Selfie Station” on the second floor of the Dragoon barracks, complete with frontier era costumes. Using Instagram, take your selfie there in costume for a chance to win the 1st Place prize of $50. If dressing up isn’t your thing, you can still take a selfie anywhere on the Old Fort grounds without the costumes. Non-costume selfies are eligible to win a $25 prize. Either way, be sure to submit your selfie to Instagram, tag @fortscottnhs in the caption, and include the hashtag #fortscottselfiecontest2017. The winner of the Selfie Contest will be announced at the conclusion of the Scavenger Hunt on August 5, although winners do not need to be present to win.

Be sure to join in the exciting and family friendly Old Fort Scavenger Hunt as a last hurrah of summer. The Hunt will begin at 1 p.m. and end at 3 p.m. on Saturday, August 5, 2017. All participants are encouraged to show up 10 minutes early with their cell phone or camera. Contestants will be given a list of clues directing them to certain items that tell a story about the rich history of the site. Participants will then take photos of the corresponding items. The winning team/individual will receive a $50 gift card, with $25 awarded to the second place finishers.

This fun event is being hosted by the Youth Engagement Team at Fort Scott National Historic Site in partnership with the Friends of the Fort. Thanks go to the Friends of the Fort for sponsoring the prizes. Call the Fort, 620-223- 0310, with questions or for more information.

A Multi-Sensory Playground for Fort Scott

“Build a new playground at the Mercy of Frank Halsey”

Presented by The Healthy Bourbon County Action Team

Underwritten by Janet Irby Braun and Family

The Healthy Bourbon County Action Team, as part of Fort Scott Community Visioning, is sponsoring a community event on Saturday, August 19, at Liberty Theatre to honor local community champion, Frank Halsey, for his grass roots initiative to build mountain biking and hiking trails.  While not alone in his efforts, his leadership demonstrates how one person can be an agent of change, engage community members, and increase awareness of healthy lifestyle. Environmental challenges tend to be strongest in low-income communities and community perception results show that Bourbon County is no different.

In addition, the Healthy Bourbon County Action Team has partnered with the Youth Activities Team to seek additional resources and construct a Multi-Sensory Playground that will be accessible by all youth, regardless of ability, and meet therapeutic needs for children with special needs. The children and families in our community could benefit from safe, inclusive, places to play. An inclusive recreation area is desperately needed in the Fort Scott area.

Currently we have families in our community who are forced to drive 45 miles to the nearest adaptive park. One of many families personally impacted is that of Matt and Cherie Witt, the parents of a 6-year-old son with autism spectrum disorder with significant sensory needs. They have shared their story:

We want to take this opportunity to introduce ourselves and explain why we believe an all-inclusive playground with adaptations for children with special needs would provide a much-needed asset to our community. Prior to the birth of our child and his subsequent diagnosis, we were not unsympathetic, but, nevertheless, highly uninformed of the vast number of children with special needs in our community and the lack of resources available to them. In the four years since our diagnosis, we have learned much and now realize to a far greater extent the struggles of parents of children with exceptionalities to find healthy and appropriate recreational activities for their children. Our children, much like their typically developing peers, want and need to simply have fun. There is no better environment for these children to thrive than playing alongside their typical peers. It is our understanding that this park would promote inclusion of all types of children with varying needs rather than separating them by ability or physical skill.  

Our home town of Fort Scott, Kan., is a small community with many children with special needs but few resources to engage them. As parents of a son with autism, we realize the financial burdens that come with the territory. Many times, parents feel pressure, and rightly so, to direct financial resources toward the many types of therapy our children require, leaving little for recreation. Furthermore, we have many low-income families dealing with these sorts of problems whose children do not have access to opportunities for fun activities. Moreover, Fort Scott has an exceptionally high rate of children with autism. For these young people, a means to meet sensory issues is essential for them to learn, develop and cope with life. An adaptive playground would serve children in each of these categories. We would love to see all these children laughing, playing and socializing the same as their typical peers.

Recent studies have shown that as a society, we tend to place disproportionate emphasis on academics over physical activity for very young children, much to their detriment. Many believe the result is a lack of social skills such as sharing and turn-taking and an increase in sensory issues. Active, free play is an invaluable learning experience. Maneuvering the environment with its variances in terrain and experiencing all the sights, sounds and feelings of the great outdoors fully engages the senses. These experiences may be even more important for children with special needs who, depending on their diagnosis, may already be at a social or physical disadvantage. A play area constructed with these children in mind, would give them a chance to spread their wings and strengthen their minds and bodies in ways otherwise impossible. 

There is no better investment than one in our youth. We believe that children with special needs can become active, responsible members of our community. We would love to see them benefit from a safe, friendly environment to promote the life skills they will need to live a productive life and have a little fun at the same time.

You can show your support and purchase your tax-deductible tickets online at fortscott.com or at the Fort Scott Area Chamber of Commerce 231 E. Wall Street Fort Scott, KS 66701. Ticket are $50 each.

Patty LaRoche: Why Me, Lord?

I am organizing my funeral. Not that I plan on dying soon, but one never knows. As of today, there remain many undecideds: cremation, burial, or cremation with burial; who should be the lucky heir to my needlepoint tea towels; and who will give my eulogy and make me sound nicer than I am. (Children need not apply.) For every checked off item, I add two more.

Right now, I’m focused on music. Previously I had made my song list in the “Notes” section of my phone, but three weeks ago all of my 146 notes were deleted. Not even the backup Clouds APP could find them. Nor could the techie at the Apple store. So, I’m starting over.

I remember two songs from the original list. “You Raise Me Up” by Josh Groban and “Why Me, Lord?” by I don’t know who…which brings me to yesterday when I spent some time in the APP music store listening to different versions and singers. Ross King had a song by that name, but its lyrics were entirely different…and not funeral appropriate. Still, I loved its honky-tonk tune and bought it. I plan to learn it on my guitar. Not to play at my funeral, of course. That would be weird.

King’s words are a great reminder of what should matter. See if you agree.

My Lexus just ran out of gas; my iPod needs new songs.

My cellphone battery is dead.

Oh, why me Lord? Why you done me wrong?

My suntan salon just closed down; my summer glow is gone.

And the kid who cleans my pool just quit.

Oh, why me, Lord? Why you done me wrong?

There’s people starving in Africa; there’s War in the Middle East.

But I’m a rich dude in suburbia who could use a little sympathy.

My grande-no-whip-mocha-latte is way too strong.

Oh, why me, Lord? Why you done me wrong?

I’ve got 150 channels on my tv, but I think I need a hundred more.

Got a world of entertainment on the internet.

But I’m still bored. Why me, Lord?

My backed-up credit card’s maxed out; can’t remember what I spent it on.

So, I guess I have to settle for the medium fries.

Oh, why me, Lord? Why you done me wrong?

There’s homeless families in New Orleans, soldiers dying on a foreign shore.

But I’m a rich dude living in luxury who could use a little something more.

There’s white trash folks in my country club, and they really don’t belong.

Oh, why me, Lord? Why you done me wrong?

Yea, I think I’ll write a letter to my Congressman, maybe send him a tape of this song.

He’s probably in his big old mansion right now.

Sayin’ “Why me, Lord? Why you done me wrong?”

Yea, I care about the people in Africa, and I’m praying for the Middle East.

But I’m a rich dude out in suburbia who could use a little sympathy.

So, don’t forget my grande-no-way-mocha-latte is way too strong.

Oh, why me, Lord? Why you done me wrong?

Why me, Lord? Why you done me wrong?

So, Readers, the more I think about it, maybe this version should be included at my funeral. Chances are, it would be one no one would ever forget.