Category Archives: Opinion
God’s Ways Are Higher by Patty LaRoche
I asked God to stop the rain, to allow a rainless window of only an hour so people would attend the parade for the Combat Veterans. I texted prayer warriors. And every half-hour, I checked the radar. 100% chance of rain. Not to worry—meteorologists have been known to make mistakes. Besides, God’s decrees overrule anything weather forecasters predict.
Right?
Right.
Only this time, God didn’t intervene. As the Fort Scott police and sheriff’s officers lined up at the airport, no one complained about getting wet, and when the soldiers exited the plane, one of the officers told all of the staff to remove their hats—the hats that would somewhat protect them from the rain– in honor of those they were meeting. So, they stood there, hats over hearts, they, our own local heroes, saying thank you to their fellow protectors.
Leaving the airport before the caravan, I drove through town, praying harder for the rain to let up, and if that didn’t happen, that people would forego the bad weather and support the troops. I couldn’t help but tear up, seeing our American flag draping between two firetrucks on 10th and National. Friends congregating nearby with a huge, homemade banner. Houses sporting the Red, White, and Blue. Community College students lining the median on Highway 69. School children waiting in the rain with flags and posters. (Thank you, Mr. Beckham, school administrators and teachers for making this happen.) Civil War reenactors sitting atop their horses while carrying American flags and saluting these national champions. And then there was the mother of a veteran, waving pom-poms, alone at the end of Wall Street, jumping and cheering.
Small town caring at its best.
Still, God did not stop the rain.
The day after the parade, I spoke with Jenn, my daughter-in-law who, along with Adam, her husband, worked tirelessly to organize this event. When I asked her what the soldiers’ favorite part of the day had been, she did not hesitate. They all agreed. “That people would stand in the rain for us.”
Get that?
It was the rain that blew them away (thankfully, not literally).
At that moment, it dawned on me. Who wouldn’t eagerly leave school or their job or organize a yard get-together on a sunny day for such an occasion? But our citizens refused to let bad weather prevent them from saying thank you for the enormous sacrifices these men made for us.
God did not stop the rain. No doubt because Isaiah 55:8-9 is true. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
I need to remember that.
Rain or shine.
Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously by Patty LaRoche
Eighty-three-year-old Howard, a tennis partner of Dave and mine in Mexico, commented about Carolyn, a Canadian friend who also winters in Mazatlan. Carolyn had been ailing for several months and had lost so much weight, she offered me all of her “big-sized clothes” because she no longer could wear them.
(Good friends do that, you know.)
Both men and I were discussing Carolyn’s weight loss. Howard said she looked feeble. It was an opening I could not resist.
“Howard, do you think I’m feeble?”
He took no time to respond. “I think you’re a tank.”
The cannonball had been shot. It was too late to reload.
I responded, as together as my personality would allow. “A tank? I’M A TANK?”
Backpedaling out of this potential war zone, Howard attempted to take a different aim. “A tank, in a good sense. Like a formidable force, an arsenal to be reckoned with.”
It was a nice save, I’ll admit, even if it was too desperate and too late.
For Howard, that is. It was the perfect time for Dave to defend me.
And he would have, I’m sure, had he been able to stop laughing.
Howard would live to regret that remark. Everyone who knows Howard—who, not coincidentally, headed the lab that worked on the first nuclear bomb and frequently uses military metaphors– soon learned of his verbal faux pas, which, of course, I couldn’t wait to share. His size-two wife was mortified, and our other friends at first were shocked by his directness. Then it became funny, the word spread and tank jokes became the norm.
To everyone’s—except Howard’s delight, I must add.
Was I offended? Absolutely not. I know Howard. I know his intent. As a military man, he honestly thought he was paying me a compliment.
And no, my head is not stuck in a turret. I am well aware that there are others whose “tank” comment would be anything but funny. The truth is, we are all concerned about Carolyn’s weight loss (which, I must admit, I have found.) Add to that the fact that when I play the net in tennis and the men try to break my nose with their shot, I say “Bring it on!” instead of acting wimpy. Howard knows I am tough, a trait I wear like a badge of honor.
No one likes to be around thin-skinned people who don’t take laughter seriously. In medieval times, those who viewed themselves with such self-importance that they acted with extreme seriousness were labeled “accidy,” which just “happens” to be one of the seven deadly sins. People like the Pharisees were viewed in this light. They poked fun at nothing, especially themselves. B-O-R-I-N-G!
I am the opposite. I laugh at myself. As a Christian, I must, if I am to obey God and love my neighbors. In 1 Corinthians 13:5, we learn that “loving” means we are not to be easily provoked or stirred to anger. When the fuse of offense is lit, I must check the intent and ask God to guard my heart and help my reaction.
I have watched marriages dissolve and friendships implode because one (or both) of the parties are hyper-sensitive. Innocent comments offend those who are so preoccupied with “self” that they fail to understand that we all are sinners, we all make mistakes, we all say things without thinking them through.
Please don’t misunderstand me. This column is not about comments intended to wound or destroy. This is about not taking ourselves so seriously. There is a huge difference, much like a tank to a pistol. To make it clear…Howard’s a pistol.
I’m a tank.
Cool Encounters by Patty LaRoche
Mollie has a multitude of physical problems including Fibromuscular Dysplasia and Parkinson’s disease. Lael has rheumatoid arthritis. They are long-time friends, and the three of us were together last weekend in Austin, Texas, for Lael’s son’s wedding. Over the years I have watched both friends struggle with their health, refuse to complain, and fight not to give in to—or dwell on– their complications.
My trip to Texas was one of encouraging encounters, no doubt because the Lord wastes no opportunities.
Alone with a woman on the airport shuttle in Kansas City, I complimented her purse (so, so cool), and we began chatting. She works for FEMA. Recently she had helped in the Houston clean-up of a demolished house where she found a purple heart and dog tags from World War II and was able to return them to the aging owner who, as you can imagine, was ecstatic. So was I, after hearing her story.
Walking down the jetway, I struck up a conversation with a young gal who shared that she had never flown before. I told her the flight would be pretty bumpy (As proof, I was putrid green when we landed) and not to be alarmed by it because forty mph winds have a way of testing our stomachs but never the plane.
When I asked if she was on vacation, she answered that she was going to meet her biological father for the first time. Through Facebook, they had linked, and he had sent her a plane ticket. Talk about cool! (Had my connection to Austin not been so tight, I might have hidden behind a pillar in Houston’s baggage claim to eavesdrop.)
Then there was the young executive, returning from a NYC business trip, who sat beside me and proudly shared videos of his one-year-old son eating his first corn dog and later playing with a garden hose. I told him what every grandmother tells a young parent about cherishing every moment because these babies grow up way too fast, etc., etc., etc. Our conversation flitted like a moth to a flame, and I ended up learning he teaches baseball to inner-city children in his spare time. More cool stuff.
Three total strangers had brightened my day, helping somewhat to minimize the airline losing my luggage. Still, the best was yet to come.
Mollie picked me up at the Austin airport, and even though her palsy was more pronounced than I expected, she was upbeat and reassuring, praising God that her disease had claimed only one arm and not two.
My friend invited me to attend her Parkinson’s boxing class which, I learned, slows the progression of the incapacitating disease. I told Mollie that this could be an exercise class where I finally might have a chance!
The technique focuses on both cognitive and physical demands. Some repetitions require counting backward from 100 by three’s. (So, okay, maybe I wouldn’t have a chance after all!) Other actions involve boxing glove strikes numbered for specific positions. Upper-cuts, for instance, is called out by the instructor as “five” for the left hand and “six” for the right hand. And get this! The leader, Dr. Shirley (Chow) had been raised in Fort Scott! Cooler yet.
Mollie encouraged all of the attendees, especially those with advanced deterioration, and it was clear they all loved her and her cheerful attitude. I left there refreshed and not a little sweaty.
The best part about my time with Mollie was to catch up on all she and her husband, Cal, are doing to serve God. They lead Celebrate Recovery meetings, teach Bible studies and are testimonies of a healed marriage because they “got real” with Jesus Christ by understanding the Bible is not a “how to learn to fix yourself” book; rather, it is a “how to learn of God’s mind-blowing love” book. They love God passionately, no matter their circumstances.
And that, Readers, was the coolest part of it all.
Today, Lord, Give Me Your Vision by Patty LaRoche
I have a new, daily prayer: Today, Lord, give me your eyes.
My perspective would be radically improved if I saw others as Jesus sees them.
As individuals he created. And loves. And wants them to love him back.
Replace my eyes with Yours.
There is no comparison between what my eyes see and what Jesus sees. If I am prayed up, the difference is dramatic, like…
- when I hear the story of a bitter church member and immediately think, “Help me demonstrate forgiveness instead of repaying his anger with mine.”
- when I meet the grumpy waitress and offer to pray for her.
- when I listen to Christian music instead of watching the news on television.
- when I am grateful for a husband who reminds me that getting worked up over what someone has said does nothing but ruin the rest of my day.
- when I am more diligent about relationships than my to-do list.
- when I ignore what the mirror reflects and am more concerned if I demonstrate the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Gal. 5: 22,23)
The difference is not only life-changing; it’s day-changing. With Jesus’ eyes, I no longer fret when people don’t view things my way (even when I am sooooo right). Jesus didn’t care that people disagreed with him or talked behind his back or even demanded his execution. He saw everyone through the eyes of love. Even those most different from him (which, in my opinion, is a really, really hard thing to do).
Yesterday I failed to do that.
As Board secretary for our condominium complex in Mazatlan, Mexico, I work with six men, most of whom have been the top dogs in their corporate worlds. We don’t always agree, but our job is to make decisions for 88 owners who also never agree. That part I find challenging and invigorating, especially when we are able to justify why we make the decisions we do.
One owner, “Ben,” pushes all of my unloving buttons. If he disagrees with us, he writes scathing emails, threatens to sue and attacks other owners. He doesn’t speak unless spoken to first, and then he talks about himself until his victims pretend to have an errand to run. (I know.)
Yesterday I was in a phone conversation with another Board member, and Ben’s recent email came up. I referred to him as a “narcissist.” It was a safe call; no one who knows Ben would disagree. Obviously, my Jesus’ eyes were closed. (Can you tell?) With Jesus’ lens, I would hurt for Ben and be concerned that he is insecure and desperate for others’ accolades and be grieved that he is an atheist. Yesterday, I wasn’t.
Today, probably because I am writing this article and am faced with my own unloving attitude, I am convicted to reach out to love Ben as Jesus does, with eyes that see based on the restoration of Calvary’s Cross. Today I am convicted that I may be the only Christian God has sent to make a difference, and I am convicted that God wastes no opportunities. Today I am seeing Ben through Jesus’ eyes.
This is a good day, a very good day.
I pray tomorrow be the same.
Obituary Of Rita Ann Peterson
Left behind by Patty LaRoche
“Grandma, is that a fanny pack you’re wearing?”
“Yes, Mo, it is.
“You’re really wearing a fanny pack?” (Underwear on my head could not have embarrassed her more.)
“It’s easier to travel without lugging around a purse.”
Jenn, Mo’s mother, intervened. “There’s nothing wrong with a fanny pack, Mo.”
Mo’s eyes widened. She was embarrassed. This grandma wasn’t cool.
We were in Ireland celebrating Jeff, my oldest son’s, St. Patrick’s Day birthday. Fortunately, I was prepared for the “sleet and snow” forecast for our seven-day trip (four in Ireland and three in Scotland).
Galoshes, poncho, umbrella. Check
Sweatshirts, under layers, coat, gloves, winter hat. Check
Swimsuit—in case our hotel had a jacuzzi and to further embarrass my grandkids. Check
Jenn, her children Drake and Mo, and I decided to brave the sleet and take the Dublin city bus tour. There were a few problems locating the starting point, like how our map was confusing and every passerby I asked spoke French or Chinese. When we finally spotted the “Easy-On-Easy-Off” bus a block away, I began sprinting to make sure we weren’t left behind. No doubt my attempt at running was not a proud moment for my grandkids. Must have been the fanny pack…or the multiple layers of clothing I was wearing…or perhaps a combination of the two.
Waving like a wind-up toy, I scampered towards the bus, alerting the driver we needed to board. As we neared, the driver opened the door and hollered for us to hurry up. What do you think we are doing? I wanted to answer and had I any breath left, I might have. Leading the charge, I collapsed into a seat in the middle of the bus. My family followed.
The driver–paid to pretend he likes tourists–wasn’t a fan. He turned and asked to see our tickets, tickets that we should have purchased a few blocks away and not here at a traffic light that had turned green but because some crazed grannie and her family were running straight towards the front of his bus neither this driver nor those behind him made the green light. Mo and Drake were mortified.
I didn’t care. I did what I had to do. We would not be left behind. Which is never fun. And sometimes, eternal.
Chances are unless you were born in the last decade, the words “Left Behind” ring a bell.
Left Behind is a series of 16 best-selling religious, fictional novels by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins, dealing with the end times. People were fascinated by the books, as proven by the 80 million copies sold, and for many, it was the first time they realized the seriousness of the end times. Why? Because too many Christians are embarrassed to share the truth of Scripture. Jesus wasn’t. In Matthew 24:40 he simplifies what will happen when the end comes: “Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left.”
Husband and wife will be shopping at Walmart. One will be gone. One, left.
Two friends will be driving on the freeway. One will be gone. One, left.
People will be worshipping in church. Some will be gone. Some, left.
The determining factor? The way they have glorified God by loving Jesus and each other. It won’t matter what color, what race, what gender. It won’t matter how many miracles they performed or what church they attended, and it certainly won’t matter if they are wearing a fanny pack around their waist or underwear on their heads.
In spite of what their grandkids think.
Holy Yearning For More by Patty LaRoche
We celebrate Easter this Sunday because Jesus died and was resurrected so that you and I can spend eternity with him. In Matthew 18:2-4 he lays out the blueprint for what we need to do.
Jesus called a little child to him and put the child among them (his disciples). Then he said, “I tell you the truth unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. So, anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.” (bolded lettering mine)
The somber words lack loopholes. If you and I want to get to Heaven, we must be like children: vulnerable; needy; dependent. Gary Haugen, author of Just Courage: God’s Great Expedition for the Restless Christian, writes that these aren’t adjectives most Christians use to describe themselves. The majority—and I include myself here—are cut out for a “more muscular” approach to the life of Christ.
Haugen’s book was recommended to me by my son, Adam. On page one, the author speaks of his college experience when he read John Stuart Mill’s 1859 essay “On Liberty.” In explaining why words lose their meaning, Mills used the example of Christians who have the ability to say the most wonderful things without believing them. I get it.
Take the words we say, for example. “It’s better to give than receive.” “Judge not, lest you be judged.” “Love your neighbor as yourself,” Haugen questioned how differently he would live his life if he actually believed those things. (I would add “If we lived like the Resurrection is real.”)
He ultimately would find out. Rejecting the safe, easy path, Haugen instead would yield himself to God’s calling and give up his job as a prosecutor at the Department of Justice to start a non-profit organization determined to rescue helpless individuals. As founder of the International Justice Mission (IJM), Haugen has spent the majority of his adult life rescuing young girls trapped in the sex trade industry, abused orphans and widows, and slaves (yes, actual slaves—more than 40,000,000!) tortured while laboring in work mills. Through some of those projects, Adam came to know this remarkable man.
Rarely do I recommend a book, but this is an exception. Page after page, I could insert my name in Haugen’s pre-conversion lifestyle description:
- I prefer safety and security and too often will miss the adventure instead of gambling on the unknown.
- I would rather be an adult than a child “where I can still pull things together if God doesn’t show up.”
- I do not have set times for prayer. (Haugen models his organization’s dependence on prayer after Mother Theresa’s who couldn’t imagine doing her work for more than 30 minutes without prayer.) When Adam joined Haugen at his headquarters, he was amazed when an 11:00 A.M. bell rang, all work stopped and everyone prayed. Why? In Haugen’s words, “We don’t do this so much as a matter of discipline but out of desperation.”
Haugen’s book is a call to action for Christians who know there is more than words, who feel a sense of disappointment in the way their life is turning out, who want their life in Christ to be more significant, more vivid, more glorious. He calls it a “holy yearning for more.” I call it “making Jesus’ Resurrection real.”
If those words describe your heart’s cry to serve God more authentically, Just Courage: God’s Great Expedition for the Restless Christian is a great place to start.
Oneness By Patty LaRoche
Blondin was a 19th-century acrobat, famous for his tightrope acts 160 feet above Niagara Falls on a rope which was over a thousand feet long. His feats varied from being dressed in a sack to walking on stilts to pushing a wheelbarrow full of potatoes to riding a bicycle. One time he stopped in mid-section and cooked an omelet on a small portable stove. At one exhibition, Blondin asked his audience, “Do you believe I can carry a person across the falls in this wheelbarrow?” Of course, the crowd shouted that yes, they believed! Then he posed the question, “Who of you will get in the wheelbarrow?” Of course, no one volunteered. Dave, my husband, and I were invited to our son and daughter-in-law’s house to help plan an upcoming camping adventure for a group of high school baseball players. Adam and Jenn had purchased 30 Bibles for the two-day event. The theme? Trust. Adam asked four coaches and two close friends–Curtis, a Special Forces Operator, and Zach, an Army Ranger (who would leave three days later for his 11th deployment)—to help. The teens, divided into two teams, would follow a map to specific locations where they would be given assignments to find a locked box with instructions as to what they were to do next. In order to get the code to unlock the box, they were assigned Biblical parables or selected verses to read as a group. They would radio to the adults their interpretations of the passages. Among other benefits to the athletes, it was a unique way to show them that answers to life’s problems could be found in the Bible. As we adults discussed the best way to organize the event, the subject of “belief” came up. True “belief.” Not just believe that George Washington was our first president, but the kind of belief that changes our hearts. The kind that makes me confident about jumping into a wheelbarrow to cross Niagara Falls, trusting completely in the one pushing. As it turned out, in 1859, Blondin’s friend and manager, Harry Colcord, showed such confidence. He was strapped to Blondin’s back, and the pair set off across the tightrope. As they reached the halfway point – the most dangerous section of the rope – Blondin said to his friend, “Harry, you are no longer Colcord; you are Blondin. Until I clear this place, be a part of me – mind, body, and soul. If I sway, sway with me. Do not attempt to do any balancing yourself. If you do we shall both go down to our death.” Harry trusted his wiser, more experienced friend, and carefully the Great Blondin continued along until at long last the pair safely reached the other side. God invites us to do the same. To become one with Him. The parable in John 15:5 explains how this works. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” In other words, there is a oneness that is necessary for Kingdom work to be accomplished. Two are joined and move in sync. Sever the two and death will occur. I can think of no greater feeling than when I am “one” with God when I trust (believe) I am moving according to His desires and not mine. As for trusting Blondin to be my partner? No way. But God? He can carry me across life’s tightrope anytime He wants.
Trust Is A Must by Patty LaRoche
“The nuns trust us!” The Gringos folding clothes at the Catholic Orphanage here in Mexico were elated. For weeks a team of 30+ have met at the complex to clean, repair, demolish, reconstruct and paint what has been ignored for decades. We are faithful in showing up and diligent in this massive undertaking.
In spite of that, the nuns remained cautious about opening the Bodega, a storage unit the size of a three-car garage crammed with bags of donated clothing. Fearing that we, like dozens of other groups, are fly-by-nights, they would not risk their treasures being stolen. After all, this was money for them. The clothes they reject are either sold as hand-me-downs or as rags.
But this week was different. The elderly nun showed up with the cherished Bodega key to allow Peter, our organizer, to peek inside. Immediately he pulled Alison off my paint crew and asked her to check it out. Alison’s main job at another orphanage is to organize its Bodega, and she’s good at it, but she never expected to see a mess of this magnitude.
Where to start? Fumigation. With floor-to-ceiling mounds of garbage bags, some which have been there for years, one could only guess what critters were nesting in the piles. Once that task was finished, seven women were assigned to the Bodega.
Peter purchased folding tables, and it was there the ladies labored over each bag. Oddly, it was the nun who was the pickiest about what clothes were kept. When a cute pair of girl’s jeans was pulled from a bag, it was she who told the volunteers those jeans were “out of style.” The nun had an opinion on every article of clothing or material the women unpacked.
By the third week, the ladies were elated when the nun had errands to run and left them alone. No longer was she concerned that the items would be stolen or put in the wrong bag. They had earned her trust. Word spread and our entire volunteer community celebrated.
When the nun confided in Peter that two teenage girls were becoming defiant and disrespectful, Peter had to convince them that he could provide a psychologist to help. Gradually, when the nuns realized that Peter was committed to doing what was best for the orphanage, their trust in him increased. It was then they gave him permission to paint the entire complex.
Trust is a must. No matter who is involved.
Nun with volunteer. Parent with child. Boss with employee. Spouse with spouse. Teammate with teammate. Coach with athlete. Teacher with student. Friend with friend. Doctor with patient. Pilot with passengers. Christian with God.
Viable relationships are dependent on such confidence.
Yet sometimes those we trust let us down, don’t they? And we feel betrayed. We forget that all of us are sinners and ignore Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart…”
Not the itsy-bitsy, happy-heart corner that celebrates when we find a parking spot or lose a pound, but “all” of our heart, even the part—especially the part– that aches when things aren’t lining up the way we know they should be (and would be in a perfect world). We are to trust, the practical outworking of faith, to allow God to fumigate the trash we have accumulated in order to give us a fresh start. For some of us, that task, like the bodega, seems overwhelming. Fortunately, God doesn’t see it that way. All He asks is that we give Him the key so He can start.
One bag at a time.
Put On Full Armor by Patty LaRoche
Larry offered me his bug spray. Not necessary. Bugs don’t bug me.
Early on Tuesday our crew of eight began prep work to paint the Catholic Orphanage in Mazatlan, Mexico. It was then that Larry recommended his bug spray and I declined.
Peter, our organizer, requested that only a few of us test for potential problems before the larger group of 30 showed up on Thursday. He had asked me to be his assistant because (1) I have paint-spattered work clothes, and (2) I’m “always happy.” (This would NOT be confirmed by my hubby.)
The turquoise stucco buildings would become a neutral taupe with white framing and terra-cotta pillars. Two coats of everything, but only after power-spraying, scraping and sealing, a monstrous undertaking for the archaic structures. Other volunteers would paint the inside while another crew replaced a few dozen broken windows and screens.
Let the problems begin.
Hoses had to be dragged through shattered windows in order to reach a working water spigot. The only electric outlet that supported a 3-prong plug-in shorted out and turned off the freezer when we tried to use it. It was an hour before we even connected the power sprayer.
I left at noon and no sooner was I in the driver’s seat than my legs began to itch. And swell. Whatever bug herd had attacked me, they did it covertly. Nodules the size of Agate marbles formed under my skin, and no matter what cream/medicine/ fingernail polish/cucumber slices I applied over the next several hours, my limbs remained painful and itchy. All night I was awake, begging for a pitchfork to claw at my sores. Even when they started bleeding, I didn’t stop.
Talk about problems! By the time I made it to Walmart the next morning and showed the pharmacist my bumpy legs, I was in a snit. He didn’t understand my translation for bug bites, so I looked up the word for “pus” which, sorry to gross you out, was oozing from my wounds. I said aloud what I was reading on my phone: “el gato.” The pharmacist squinted his eyes and questioned in perfect English what I had said. “You have a cat on your legs?”
Good grief! My translation mistook “pus” (short u) for “puss” as in “pussy cat.” Once that was solved and medicine recommended, I began lathering on the cream. Yes, right there, between the cash register and my car. Aaaahhhh, sweet relief!
I know what you are thinking. All of that could have been prevented had I used Larry’s bug spray. Had I been a little proactive instead of almost bragging about being bug-proof? For days after, nasty scabs became a pestering reminder of how I ignored a necessary precaution.
Of course, that’s not the only problem area in which I have considered myself immune. Take my heart, for example, a prime target for a spiritual bug to attack. Ephesians 2:2 addresses how Satan seeks vulnerable “hosts” to infect with bitterness, envy, jealousy, and self-righteousness. I am exposed every time I refuse to be proactive. By not praying first. By not asking the Holy Spirit to cover my areas of temptation. By reading but not heeding God’s holy Word. And then when I get into trouble–say or do something hurtful, for instance–I cause even more problems, which has the potential to leave a scar on my heart. Fortunately, like the bug spray, there is an answer. It is found in Ephesians 6:10-12.
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
From that time at the orphanage, bug spray became my “armor.” And like prayer, the most preventative problem-solver available, I never leave home without it.
Judging by Patty LaRoche
Kari, my friend here in Mazatlan, was checking out the silent auction items at the annual Hospice Dinner/Dance when a woman approached her to make small talk–not atypical at these events. My friend shared that the lady was decked out with jewels dripping from every uncovered area of skin. The lady asked if Kari had been to Mexico before. When Kari answered “for 30 years,” the lady’s tone changed.
“I’m going to get to the point,” she declared. “I noticed you are dressed very nicely, but your husband has on shorts. That is entirely inappropriate for an event like this. If you look around, the men here have on slacks which is the custom in Mexico.”
Kari was speechless. There were close to 1000 people at this fundraiser, and the stranger had appointed herself the Sergeant-at-Arms for evening attire. “I just thought you should know for the future,” she said before disappearing into the crowd.
Kari returned to her table and shared what happened with our friends who immediately offered to take the woman to the parking lot and beat her up. (We’re close like that.)
Dave and I heard the story the following morning when we drove Kari to church. What my friend did next was a brave move. She sought out the stranger and confronted her, sharing that Rob, her husband, had on “nice” shorts (not the cargo ones he was wearing before Kari asked him to change) and a nice shirt, that there were a few other men there in shorts, that she doubted the Hospice leadership recognized a difference between the way people were dressed when it came to accepting their monetary donations, and that if it were that big of a deal, the tickets should indicate so. The stranger did not back down.
I told my friend what she should have said. “Thank you for letting me know that. Rob and I will take back our $10,000 donation since Hospice is so embarrassed by the way he is dressed.” ( Clever, right?) But since we were on our way to church, I offered a nicer counter. “I’m wondering why you are putting so much emphasis on how people are dressed. One day we will all stand before God and be judged on what’s in our hearts. He won’t care how many jewels we own or how we look to other people.”
Of course, then the meddlesome woman probably would have taken me to the parking lot and beaten me up.
What the stranger didn’t know—and maybe wouldn’t have cared to know–is that Kari is a Christian but her husband is an atheist. It has not been easy. She and I are in a Bible study together in which last week’s Philippians’ study guide asked a question about what we could do that week to be more Christlike. Kari had shared with her husband that her goal that week was to complain less (Chapter 2, vs. 14: Do all things without complaining or disputing.) His response? “We’ll see how long that will last.” I couldn’t help but groan.
And here is a busybody who wants Kari to be sure Rob understands the wardrobe rules of Mexico! An argument my friend chose not to have.
Here’s how I see it. Should Rob have worn slacks? Probably. (He doesn’t even own a pair.) But not at the expense of Kari nagging or driving a wedge in their relationship.
Perhaps Nosey-Nelly was trying to be helpful. Seriously, perhaps she was. Or perhaps her self-worth came from the gems she wore while her heart remained under-dressed and critical, which in my opinion is far more destructive than her prying personality.
And then again, whatever the case, perhaps none of it is any of my business.






