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WinThe Person, Not the Argument by Patty LaRoche
Author: A Little Faith Lift…Finding Joy Beyond Rejection
www.alittlefaithlift.com
AWSA (Advanced Writers & Speakers Assoc.)
“Win the person, not the argument.” I’m not sure who said that, but it’s super applicable if you want to live a Christ-like life. That being said, it’s really, really, really hard to do. It requires patience, unselfishness, diplomacy, compassion, kindness and humility, to list just a few attributes.
As a former debate coach (eons ago), I taught that the competitors needed to win both the judge (who hopefully would decide that the argument also had been won). Debaters entered a room and asked for the judge’s paradigm. Novice judges (probably parents who had been guilted into judging by their children), if honest, would say that they had no idea what that meant. Seasoned judges would say “tabula rasa,” meaning that their brain was a blank slate; they would depend upon the structure of the arguments to choose the winner and would be totally open-minded about the discussion. I’m not sure that’s possible, but it made the judge sound pretty cool.
We all know that life is not a structured debate where each person gets the same amount of time to defend, counter and question. Can you imagine disagreeing but setting the rules ahead of time? And then sticking to the rules? “We both get eight minutes to present our case. Then we have three minutes to question what has been said…”
Arguments in the real world are…well, arguments, and sometimes they get heated. People interrupt. Raise their voices. Refuse to accept the validity of anything the other person says. My way or the highway. Abraham Lincoln once said, “When arguing with a fool, make sure the opponent isn’t doing the exact same thing.” Sound advice.
The Bible gives us a few examples of people who “argued” with God and won. Moses pleaded with God not to kill the Israelites for worshipping the golden calf (Exodus 32: 9-14). Abraham convinced God to save Lot’s family when God determined to destroy Sodom because of its sinfulness (Genesis 18:16-32). When Hezekiah became ill, he begged God to save his life and was granted another 15 years (2 Kings 20:1-11).
Proverbs 15:1 is often quoted as a reminder of how to handle a disagreement. A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. These people in the Bible showed respect to God when they disagreed with Him. There was no name-calling, no “You have no right to talk to me that way,” no misunderstanding about Who it was with whom they were differing. Recently, I overheard a conversation (argument) about our presidential candidates. My stomach turned as voices raised, interrupted, ignored facts and made attacks personal, refused to find something valuable in what the other person said, and used the “You” attack regularly. (Sidenote: unless paying a compliment, “You” statements have the potential to be derogatory or hurtful.) You can guess the result of this attempt at political persuasion: neither party changed his mind.
To “win the person, not the argument,” we must take a learning approach. Decide to listen to actually learn something instead of being heard. Be able to say, “I’ve never thought of that” or “That’s an interesting idea” or even this one: “I think we should just agree to disagree” instead of letting the discussion ruffle our feathers. If those don’t work, just tell someone that you’re a tabula-rasa kind of person. Chances are, that might end the argument.
Conference For the Aging and Their Caregivers
New Exhibits on Two Women Pioneers at Lowell Milken Center
Downtown Quarterly Meet and Greet July 9 At Cohn’s Cafe
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Primary Technology Restored at Via Christi Hospital in Pittsburg
Via Christi Hospital in Manhattan and Wamego Health Center have successfully restored the primary technology used for electronic patient documentation in care settings.
This technology was successfully restored for the four Wichita hospitals: Via Christi St. Francis, St. Joseph, St. Teresa and the Rehabilitation Hospital. It was also restored for Via Christi Hospital in Pittsburg.
All Via Christi hospitals in Kansas have successfully restored EHR access. This will allow most hospital departments, physician offices, and clinics to use electronic documentation and charting. Patients should see improved efficiencies and wait times. The team continues to work tirelessly to restore other ancillary technology systems.
2024 CFSEK General Funds Grant Applications Now Available!
The Community Foundation of Southeast Kansas (CFSEK) is pleased to announce that the CFSEK General Funds Grant Cycle is now open!
Every year in the summer, the Community Foundation’s Grant Review Committee funds programs focusing on Basic Human Needs, Youth Activities, and Arts & Culture. Since 2004, the funds directly managed by the Community Foundation have provided hundreds of thousands of dollars to many Southeast Kansas nonprofit projects. General funds grant applications are typically available during June.
In 2023, the Community Foundation awarded $160,000 to 43 recipients in its General Funds grant cycle. These organizations represented 29 Southeast Kansas communities and 15 counties.
Learn more about the General Funds Grant history with CFSEK here.
Contact Kara Mishmash at SoutheastKansas.org/contact/
Lowell Milken Center Unveils New Exhibit Panels
On June 26, 2024, the Lowell Milken Center for Unsung Heroes will be unveiling exhibit panels featuring two new Unsung Heroes. The ceremony will begin at 3:00 p.m. inside the Center’s Hall of Heroes, revealing new exhibits honoring Dr. Christine Grant, the University of Iowa’s first director of women’s intercollegiate athletics. She was a national pioneer and voice in the fight for gender equity in athletics, significantly impacting the implementation of Title IX. The second honoree will be Dr. Susan La Flesche Picotte, the first Native American doctor in the United States, a champion for her people’s well-being, and a powerful role model for Native Americans and women in medicine.
Featured VIPs will include nationally recognized teachers and their students, whose award-winning projects share the stories of these heroes. Suzy Turner, teacher and 2022 National Lowell Milken Center Fellow from Iowa, and Kadence Huck, one of the three students whose research uncovered the story of Unsung Hero Dr. Christine Grant, will be present to reveal their project. Those attending who researched and discovered Unsung Hero Dr. Susan La Flesche Picotte will be student Madison Glidden and her teacher, 2021 National Lowell Milken Center Fellow Megan Helberg from Nebraska.
Additional VIP guests will be Susan Picotte, the great-granddaughter of Dr. Susan La Flesche Picotte, and Susan’s niece, Holly. Honored VIPs representing Dr. Christine Grant will be her niece, Andrea Weiss, and Grant’s best friend and former colleague from the University of Iowa, Peg Burke. Other honored guests will include the new 2024 Lowell Milken Center National Fellowship members, former National Lowell Milken Center Fellows Carly Bowden and Jennifer Farr, as well as family members and guests of the award-winning students and teachers.
Everyone interested is invited to join us on June 26th at 3:00 p.m. to celebrate the extraordinary lives of our two new unsung heroes, who have profoundly impacted history.
These new exhibits are made possible through a 2024 Attraction Development Grant awarded to the Lowell Milken Center from Kansas Tourism. The Lowell Milken Center is a non-profit 501 © (3) that works with students and educators within diverse academic disciplines to develop projects focused on unsung heroes.
A Long-Standing Neighborhood Tradition: 42nd Annual Burke Street 4th of July Parade
Come One, Come All, Let Freedom Ring! It is once again time to celebrate U.S.A.’s 248th Independence Day with a neighborhood parade on Fort Scott’s “Tower Hill,” better known as Burke Street on the Fourth of July.
Following patriotic songs by “Kids on Burke” led by two of the parade founders: Jill Gorman and Susan Foster; the parade will depart at 10:00 AM from Tenth and Burke going south around the Marblecrest Triangle and returning north to the point of origin. Cheering spectators, who are encouraged to bring lawn chairs and dress in red, white, and blue, will line the parade route with family and friends.
Post-parade refreshments will be served and ALL ARE WELCOME to the corner of Ninth and Burke. Neighbors and friends-of-the-parade donate the cookies and drinks are provided by this year’s hosts Matthew and Lisa Cady.
A severe storm or lightning cancels the parade and there are no large vehicles allowed due to the many children participating in the festivities.
Parade questions can be answered by Margaret Humphrey 620-223-0388 –- 620-224-7388 or Theresa Bahr 620-215-2889.
The Bourbon County Sheriff’s Office Daily Reports June 13
2024 Kansas Most Notable Books
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FS Commission Minutes of June 4
CITY OF FORT SCOTT
CITY COMMISSION MEETING
Minutes of June 4, 2024 Regular Meeting
The regular meeting of the Fort Scott City Commission was held June 4, 2024, at 6:00PM (Time stamp: 0:010) in the City Commission Meeting Room at City Hall, 123 S. Main Street, Fort Scott, Kansas. (Time stamps according to YouTube recording of meeting).
Roll Call
Meeting called to order at 6:00PM. Commissioners Matthew Wells, Tim VanHoecke, and Dyllon Olson were present with Mayor Tracy Dancer.
Audience in Attendance – Brad Matkin/City Manager, Bob Farmer/City Attorney, Jason Dickman/City Engineer-Earles Engineering, Jason Pickert/Chief of Police, Lisa Lewis/City Clerk, Tom Coffman/Public Works Manager, Bill Lemke/Water Distribution & Wastewater Collections Supervisor, Jessica Oliphant/BakerTilly (via telephone), Amanda Lancaster/Diehl, Banwart & Bolton, Jason Silvers/Fort Scott Tribune, Michael Hoyt, Mark Hall, Kathryn Salsbury, Cole Jones and Charles Gentry.
Pledge of Allegiance and Invocation
- Dancer led the Pledge of Allegiance and B. Matkin said a prayer asking God for guidance for the City, our Government and City officials.
Approval of Agenda (Time stamp 1:15)
MOTION: T. VanHoecke moved to amend the agenda to remove Robert Harrington from Appearances. He is unable to attend and will appear at the next meeting. M. Wells seconded the motion. All voted yes.
MOTION PASSED BY 4-0 VOTE.
ACTION: D. Olson requested that R. Harrington be informed of what is expected from his appearance.
MOTION: T. VanHoecke moved to approve the agenda with the amendment. M. Wells seconded the motion. All voted yes.
MOTION PASSED BY 4-0 VOTE.
Consent Agenda (Time stamp 2:21)
- Approval of Appropriation Ordinance 1361-A – Expense Approval Report – Payment Dates – May 15, 2024 – May 28, 2024 – $521,016.52
- Approval of Minutes for May 21, 2024
- Request to Pay – Hofer, Hofer & Associates – Application No. 2 – Gunn Park Shower House and Restroom – Amount Due – $20,561.40
- Request to Pay – Hofer, Hofer & Associates – Application No. 3 – Gunn Park Shower House and Restroom –Amount Due – $10,125.00
- Request to Pay – Earle’s Engineering & Inspection – Project No. 06 KA-6898-01 – Design Contracts – $25,947.45
- Request to Pay – Skitch’s Hauling & Excavation, Inc. – Invoice #7615 – Demolition of 10 S. National Ave. – $94,396.00
Items C & D: The payment to Hofer, Hofer & Associates is approximately 90% complete.
Item F: B. Matkin stated that there may be another charge for dump fees.
ACTION: B. Matkin will let the Commission know if there are any additional charges for dump fees from Skitch’s Hauling & Excavation, Inc. for the demolition of 10 S. National.
MOTION: D. Olson moved to approve the Consent Agenda. M. Wells seconded the motion. All voted yes.
MOTION PASSED BY 4-0 VOTE.
New Business
Action Items:
Consideration of Letters of Interest for City Commissioner (Time stamp 4:05)
Each candidate gave an introductory statement and received questions from the Commissioners.
Mark Hall (Time stamp 4:51)
Kathryn Salsbury (Time stamp 12:08)
- Matkin left the meeting (Time stamp 14:30) and returned at (Time stamp 21:43)
Cole Jones (Time stamp 26:18)
Charles Gentry (Time stamp 39:50)
MOTION: M. Wells moved to appoint Charles Gentry to the City Commission.
MOTION DIED DUE TO LACK OF A SECOND.
MOTION: T. VanHoecke moved to appoint Kathryn Salsbury. D. Olson seconded the motion. All voted yes.
MOTION PASSED BY 4-0 VOTE.
Oath of Office for new Commissioner (Time stamp 1:04:28) Kathryn Salsbury was sworn in by the City Clerk and took her position at the Commissioner’s table.
Selection of President of Commission (Time stamp 1:05:56)
MOTION: T. VanHoecke moved to appoint D. Olson as President of the Commission. M. Wells seconded the motion. All voted yes.
MOTION APPROVED BY 5-0 VOTE.
Selection of Commission Representative of the HBCAT Health and All Policies Task Force vacated by the resignation of M. Guns.
MOTION: T. VanHoecke moved to nominate K. Salsbury as the representative. D. Olson seconded the motion. All voted yes.
MOTION APPROVED BY 5-0 VOTE.
- Farmer left the meeting (Time stamp 1:07:32)
Consideration to purchase mower for the airport – Grasshopper Model 900D-1.3L for $21,124.95 (Time stamp 1:07:36)
- Coffman presented the request to the Commission. The reason for the purchase is as follows: 1) The current model has been discontinued; 2) parts are difficult to acquire; and 3) the mower is in constant need of repairs. This is an emergency purchase. It is State contract #53340 therefore it does not require the three (3) quotes required by the City’s Purchasing Policy. J. Oliphant verified that the money would come from reserves and will be replaced by anticipated interest earned on investments. This mower will be used at the lake and the airport.
- Farmer returned to the meeting at (Time stamp 1:09:18)
MOTION: D. Olson moved to purchase the mower with half of the funds coming from the lake fund and the other half coming from reserves.
- VanHoecke seconded the motion. D. Olson, T. VanHoecke, K. Salsbury and T. Dancer voted yes. M. Wells voted no.
MOTION PASSED BY 4-1 VOTE.
Consideration to Purchase Jet-Foamer System – Wastewater Collections – Key Equipment & Supply Co. – $45,363.13 (Time stamp 1:15:33) – B. Lemke presented his request to the Commission explaining that the primary function is to treat sanitary sewer lines for root and grease control to keep lines open which is a huge problem for the City. Currently a powder dumped down a manhole which is flushed down the lines with water however it can only reach approximately 200 feet. The new jet foam system, in conjunction with the City’s vactor truck will be far more efficient and will treat the entire circumference of the affected pipes. This item will be purchased with reserves from wastewater utility. It was put in last year’s capital plan (2023-2027) under Wastewater Collections to be purchased in 2025. Purchasing it this year will drop it from the 2025 capital plan and will not have to be budgeted.
ACTION: T. VanHoecke requested that J. Oliphant send a current Capital Plan for pending Capital Expenditures to the City Manager and the City Clerk via email in order that the Commission has an updated copy. J. Oliphant agreed.
MOTION: M. Wells moved to purchase the Jet Foamer System. D. Olson seconded the motion.
Discussion was had about the reserve fund, investments and upcoming obligations.
All voted yes.
MOTION PASSED BY 5-0 VOTE.
Consideration to Purchase 2022 Ford F350 Service Truck – Water Distribution – Olathe Ford Commercial Sales Center – $65,350.00 (Time stamp 1:26:34) B. Matkin stated that the fleet is deteriorating, however they will look for used vehicles instead of requesting this new truck. He requested that consideration for this item be removed. Discussion was had about the process of purchasing used vehicles. The vehicle will be used for the Water Distribution and Wastewater Collection departments.
ACTION: The immediate need is one (1) vehicle. The limit is set at $35,000.00 for the City Manager to sign off on the purchase. The Commission directed B. Matkin them updated and call a Special Meeting if necessary.
Consideration of bids for 2024 Hay Rights at Fort Scott Municipal Airport (Time stamp 1:33:24) Four (4) bids were received: 1) Tippin T Cattle ($15,265.00); 2) KW Cattle ($12,750.00); 3) Ricky Kellenberger ($10,601.00) and 4) Crystal Livestock Express LLC ($6,045.00).
MOTION: T. VanHoecke moved to accept the bid of $15,265.00 from Tippin T Cattle for the 2024 Hay Rights at Fort Scott Municipal Airport. D. Olson seconded the motion. All voted yes.
MOTION PASSED BY 5-0 VOTE.
Certificate of Appropriateness for 124 E. Wall Street – Hole in the Wall Liquor (Time stamp 1:35:13) The request by applicant Roy Hoehner to install solar panels on the roof and east-facing awning of the building within the Historic District was recommended by the Design Review Board on May 29, 2024. Discussion was had about the panels on the awning.
MOTION: T. VanHoecke moved to approve the request based on the recommendation of the Design Review Board. T. Dancer seconded the motion. K. Salsbury, T. VanHoecke and T. Dancer voted yes. M. Wells and D. Olson voted no.
MOTION PASSED BY A 3-2 VOTE.
Certificate of Appropriateness for 110 South Main LLC – 110 S. Main Street (Time stamp 1:52:11) The request by applicant Kathy Dancer to replace façade lettering, placement of exterior heat pump condenser in south window bay but enclosed with period appropriate custom screen, replacement of 2nd floor windows with decorative mullions and replace blocked in arch walls with storefronts in tow central bays and compliant doors was recommended by the Design Review Board on May 29, 2024.
MOTION: M. Wells moved to approve the application for the Certificate of Appropriateness for 110 South Main LLC. D. Olson seconded the motion.
- Wells, D. Olson, T. VanHoecke and K. Salsbury voted yes. T. Dancer abstained.
MOTION PASSED BY 4-1 VOTE.
Consideration of Request for a New City License to Serve Alcoholic Liquor and Cereal Malt Beverages for Consumption On The Premises – Mi Ranchito – 17 S. Main Street
MOTION: T. VanHoecke moved to approve the new City License for MiRanchito at 17 S. Main Street. D. Olson seconded the motion. All voted yes.
MOTION PASSED BY 5-0 VOTE.
Public Comment (Time Stamp 1:59:46)
Michael Hoyt addressed a public notice from KDHE that was presented at County Commission meeting the night before, would also like to be read into the budget process and had a question regarding the approved the jet foam treatment for the sanitary sewers.
- VanHoecke left the meeting (Time stamp 2:04:02) and returned to the meeting (Time stamp 2:05:52).
Appearances
Amanda Lancaster/Diehl, Banwart & Bolton appeared by request and addressed the Commission regarding the expectations of the Single Audit vs. Regular Audit.
- Farmer left the meeting (Time stamp 2:08:36).
- Matkin left the meeting (Time stamp 2:09:11).
- Farmer returned to the meeting (Time stamp 2:10:11).
- Matkin returned to the meeting (Time stamp 2:13:07).
Reports and Comments
- City Manager Comments (Time stamp 2:22:00)
– Approval to proceed with equipment auction
ACTION: B. Matkin will get a date for the auction and D. Olson requested a list of equipment inventory.
– Summer Collegiate Baseball league
– Memorial Hall Request for Proposals to repair façade – will bring to Commission if they come in over $10,000.00
– Want to explore current regulations for shipping containers
ACTION: B. Matkin will bring information for discussion about shipping containers to the next Commission meeting
- Engineering Comments (Time stamp 2:30:12)
– Update on Horton & 6th Street Project – start date is July 8th, 2024, and is expected to be a 230-day project.
– Rerouting to be done with signage to adjacent side streets.
- Commissioners Comments
– K. Salsbury (Time stamp 2:33:35)
– M. Wells (Time stamp 2:33:47)
– T. VanHoecke (Time stamp 2:34:30)
– D. Olson (Time stamp 2:36:50)
– T. Dancer (Time stamp 2:36:56)
- City Attorney Comments (Time stamp 2:38:42)
MOTION: (Time stamp 2:39:28) – T. VanHoecke moved to adjourn the meeting at 8:39PM. K. Salsbury seconded the motion. All voted yes.
JUNE 4, 2024, MEETING ADJOURNED AT 8:39PM
_______________________________________________________________________
Submitted by:
Lisa A. Lewis, City Clerk