I write, not as an expert on Christianity (as far as I know, Jesus was the only one who qualified for that title) but as one who wakes up every morning determined to love God more than myself.  Typically, that lasts for about an hour (two if I take time to read my Bible and pray).  Then I become…well, Patty.

Pretty much, a house of cards that falls flat.  Should I stack up my “pair of two’s” against almost every Christian I know, their “Royal Flush” will beat me every time. They pray, witness, disciple, memorize scripture, feed the sick, clothe the poor, write encouraging notes, remember peoples’ names and love their enemies better and more than I do. They are not annoyed by small talk or disinterested listeners; instead of whining about the state of politics, they get involved; and they are at the top of the church volunteer list.

Nope, I’m not going to compare myself to them.  Instead, I will compare myself to evil people like Charles Manson, Hitler and Jeffrey Dahmer where my three-of-a-kind trumps their one-of-a-kind.  That lasts for, oh say, about 30 seconds at which time the divide widens because now I can add pride and judgmentalism to my deck of unimpressive cards.

I need a new hand.

Correct that. I need a new heart.

While researching, I googled “hypocrite.”  Up popped some commentary that dealt with the 10 biggest hypocrites ever (and no, I was not listed).  Scrolling down the list, I gasped when I saw Jesus’ name.  The author’s rationale?  Anyone who could preach love yet condemn people to hell is a hypocrite.

A hypocrite? Jesus pretended to be something he wasn’t?  If Jesus was a hypocrite, then what are we?  Hypocrites on steroids to the umpteenth power? If Jesus was a phony, what was the cross all about?  I know of no other person who willingly would take the place of sinners (including the author of that article…and me…and you, if you’re honest) and ask only that, because of his sacrifice, we love him back, no matter what deck we have been dealt.

Who else is in our corner like he is? We never will have a cheerleader like Jesus Christ who, according to 1 Timothy 2:5, mediates for us when Satan stands in the heavens, reciting his litany of where we have fallen short (which, in some of our cases-ahem!–is more often than others). I can just see Satan puffing out his chest, and in his best accusing tone, informing Jesus that I was impatient in the express lane when the woman ahead of me had 13 items instead of 12.

Jesus responds with one word: “Forgiven.”

“Yeah, well what about this one?  Today she told her neighbor she’d pray for her but didn’t.

“Forgiven.”

No matter what Satan throws out, Jesus reminds him that he paid the price to cover my sins. I wish I could see myself the same way Jesus does. When I see five unmatched cards as I compare myself to the saintly types listed above, Jesus sees five aces (and yes, I know that’s not possible, but you get the point). Where I see myself failing as his representative, he recognizes it as part of my journey to rely more on him.  When I judge, he nudges me to remember what it’s like to be judged.  When I compare myself to others (seriously, is JayLo stunning or what?), he reminds me that I am loved, 100%, right where I am.

Who else does that?

No hypocrite that I know, that’s for sure.