“I only did it because you did it.”
“No. You did it first, Patty. You told Joyce what to do.”
“Dave, there is no way. I’ve said nothing this whole time, but you
did. You can’t help yourself. You have to talk. Have. To. Talk.”
“Oh my gosh. You’re the one who said ‘Take your time.’”
“Oh my gosh yourself. Like ‘take your time’ is the same as
saying, ‘Remember, helping your teammate is better than sending
your opponent home.’”
“It doesn’t matter. You talked. You said you didn’t. But you did.
You started it. Some might call that cheating. So if you’re going
to talk, so am I.”
Mind you, this was not an argument on a playground. This was a
“discussion” between Dave and me when we were playing a board game with two other couples, girls against the guys, the same girls who now would join in to defend me and the same guys
who would jump in to defend Dave.
I would like to say that this discourse is rare. It isn’t. Actually, it’s fairly predictable when we play games…because Dave just has to make “suggestions” to his teammates, even though table-talk is clearly against the rules.
Thomas Paine once said, “To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead.”
One Vietnam veteran friend recounts a dinner in which his 20-year-old, radical son argued with a 40-year-old, conservative man about a political issue. The discussion became heated at which time the younger man went to the restroom.
“Why aren’t you saying anything?” asked the conservative to my friend. “Because I never argue with a nineteen-year-old who is foolish enough to think that he knows what life is all about.”
If you never argue with your spouse (and yes, I know a saintly Christian woman who makes that claim), this article is not for you.
She obeys Philippians 2:14: Do everything without
complaining and arguing. I admire that, and if Dave would play fair, I wouldn’t argue either.
My friend Julie recently left her husband of twenty-seven years because she held everything inside until finally exploding. She remained silent when her spouse flirted with other women, lied about his whereabouts and dominated every conversation. When she finallyconfronted him about all the ways he had sabotaged their marriage, he was shocked. Ignoring the problem for so long had not made it disappear. Instead, it magnified it.
I could give lessons on not holding in my frustrations.
2 Timothy 2:23 instructs us to have nothing to do with ignorant controversies that breed quarrels. Interestingly, the Bible is not short of arguments. Moses argued with God when God
called him to lead the Israelites out of Egypt and again when God was about to destroy the Israelites for their disobedience. Abraham argued with God to save his relatives’ lives when God was about to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah. Peter and Paul argued over Jewish law.
Granted, it’s not a regular occurrence like it is when Dave and I play games, but it is comforting to know that God’s finest disagreed.
Last month, Dave and I celebrated our 50 th wedding anniversary. We’ve done something right. Makes me think that a few healthy arguments might not be such a bad idea.
Like I said, I could give lessons.
