Scripture instructs us to pray.  Loved ones ask for it, depend on it, and trust we will follow through when we promise to intercede for those who are hurting.  Oh, we try (don’t we?), but there’s this haunting, little inadequacy thing. The words are fleeting.  Our mind wanders. We don’t begin to understand to Whom it is we are talking.

In A Morbid Taste for Bones, Ellis Peters gives a sweet description of someone she watched who was deep in prayer: “He prayed as he breathed, forming no words and making no specific requests, only holding in his heart, like broken birds in cupped hands, all those people who were in stress or grief.”

Do you picture that as I do, with a sense of awe, and know that this is the type of intercessor you want in your corner?  Or the kind of prayer warrior you want to be but perhaps are not delivering? You question the usefulness of your petitions. “What’s the point? The last sick people for whom I prayed have not improved, even though I visualized the miracle.”  “The marriage for which I prayed ended in a split, in spite of how I was praying in God’s will—He who disdains divorce.”  “The drug-addicted son for whom I grieved ended up in the penitentiary.”  Have you been there?

So, why are my prayers ineffective?

We forget that bad things happen to good people, our prayers are not a magic bullet, and to God, our spiritual growth is more important than our physical desires being met. Just as a sailor does not learn to master the sea during calm waters, so is our faith tested during the difficult times.  More importantly, we simply can’t see God’s purposes.

Someone once wrote that God offers three answers to prayer: (1) Yes, (2) No, and (3) I have something better for you.

As it turns out, I personally have some ownership in the battle of prayer.

(1). There has to be a relationship between God and me.  He is not interested in being my bottled genie when the only time I talk to Him is when I want something. Think of your children.  If they have no regard for you except when they want you to meet their demands, you would feel used, not respected or loved. So it is with God.

(2). Sin interferes with our relationship. Psalm 66:18 makes that clear. “If I regard sin in my heart, the Lord will not hear me.”  Sin seeks to control us, and yes, we all are sinners, but if we make no attempt to stop sinning and cling to it like shrink-wrap on a jar (or like my waist when I was younger and tried to lose weight), we will not be seeking God with our whole heart.

(3).  Selfish motives can kill a prayer.  I can ask God all day long to make me a better witness for Jesus, but if my hidden intent is to get notoriety or praise for doing so, God isn’t interested.

4).  Unforgiveness is not the way to get God into our court.  Mark 11:25 tells us that God will not forgive me unless I forgive someone who has offended me.

James 5:16 is a powerful verse: “The effective prayer of a righteous person has great power.”  You want power in your prayers?  I do.  Then our petitions need to be “effective,” meaning God will hear—and act on—those prayers. A few verses previous, James asked if anyone was suffering.  “Let him pray.”  That was the same answer given to anyone uncheerful or sick or sinning.  They all were to pray.  Why?  Because prayer works. And it works not because of us…but because of God Almighty.

Martin Luther said it well: “To be a Christian without praying is no more possible than to be alive without breathing.  I think that’s the kind of prayer Ellis Peters was talking about.