Several years ago, my stepdaughter Nikki and her husband, Dave, redid their backyard.  They added a pool, an outdoor kitchen, a sit-down counter for eight, an outdoor television, and an area for cornhole and games.  It became the hangout for their friends and the friends of their three, teenage children.

From that point on, rarely were they invited to someone else’s house.  They were expected to host every get-together.  People couldn’t wait for the next event.  Oh, the guests might bring an appetizer or drink, but most of that costly responsibility, prep, and cleanup, fell on Dave’s and Nikki’s shoulders.

My husband, Dave, and I had a similar experience in Mexico where we owned a bottom-floor condominium for 15 years.  Ours became the gathering spot, and several times, we were asked, “We had so much fun the other night. When are you having another get-together?”  A few reciprocated, but some never did.  After years of this, I began mortifying Dave by responding, “Or maybe we could come to your place sometime.” If I didn’t hear “Yea, maybe,” I heard, “My wife doesn’t like to have people over.  But we sure enjoy coming to your place.”

Recently, Dave and I were at Nikki’s, and she and I began discussing how some people use all kinds of excuses not to open their homes to guests.  Typically, it’s because their house isn’t as nice or as big and doesn’t have all the conveniences, but that’s not the point.  When Dave played baseball and we lived in a small apartment, we hosted almost every team event.  Players owned large, beautiful homes, but they never shared their houses for get-togethers.  They just asked when we were having another party.

On Sunday, we went to my grandson-in-law’s church and heard a sermon on hospitality, on how important it is to invite people over instead of shutting them out. The pastor used the example of Zaccheus, the tax collector who climbed a tree in order to get a look at Jesus as he passed by.  Jesus called him by name and said that he wanted to go to Zaccheus’s house, a request that was met with a quick “yes.” How many of us would be panicked instead of welcoming an unexpected guest?

Let’s face it.  We now live in a world that is cold and impersonal, yet Romans 12:13 instructs us to “Practice hospitality” which has nothing to do with impressing others with our fine linens, fresh flowers, spotless home and perfect children.  Some of us need to stop with the lies that tell us we have to be perfect, that our homes belong to us, not God, and that our possessiveness about our personal time many times isn’t linked to laziness or selfishness.

Jesus seemed to know that true fellowship, true intimacy, happens around a dinner table. Why else would he choose his final evening on earth to be centered around a table with his disciples? A table owned not by a friend but by a nameless person whose servant, according to Mark 14:12-17, led two disciples to an upstairs room prepared for a dinner for 12.

When Dave and I first attended a church near our home in Tomball, Texas, Mollie and Cal introduced themselves and invited us to their house after the service.  I explained that we had three children, but Mollie answered, “Perfect. So do we!”  That friendship (as well as other couples we met through them) has lasted for the past 30 years.

Billie Graham said it best.  “The happiest Christian homes I know are those given to hospitality, where neighbors feel at home, where young people are welcome, where the elderly are respected, where children are loved.”  Maybe that’s what this cold, impersonal world is missing.