Keys to the Kingdom
By Carolyn Tucker
Horses Peck?

We’re all familiar with the term, “pecking order” which originated from a zoologist’s study of social hierarchies among chickens. He observed how hens established their authority through pecking those of lower status without retaliation. As a youth, I was around chickens just enough to know I didn’t like them (unless they were on my supper plate). I’ve been around horses all my life and they also have a pecking order, which is fascinating to watch. This hierarchy system establishes dominance and relationships. It also helps reduce tension and potential conflicts, allowing horses to understand their roles and maintain social order. Each horse knows its place, which contributes to a more-harmonious environment, and this is
crucial for their well-being.

The dominant horse walks with purpose and expects others to move out of his way. He may pin his ears, swish his tail, or toss his head to make a point. In addition, you can watch a horse interact with another horse and witness mutual grooming or fly swatting. This bonding affirms social ties among them, indicating a good relationship within the pecking order. Amazingly, the horse pecking order in pastures actually helps prevent injuries, resolves conflicts, and promotes harmony in the herd. A structured hierarchy makes the horses feel at peace and enables them to function safely and properly.

Humans need to be as smart as a horse — maybe that’s why it’s called “horse sense.” Horses understand pecking order which means there can only be one boss. Humans need to understand that God is da Boss. My daughter Mariam worked in a preschool in Longview, Texas for two years. She had an adorable mouthy little girl who was really feeling her oats one day. Mariam told Mimi to do something and she defiantly said, “You not da boss o’ me! You not da boss o’ nothin‘!!” I don’t know if Mariam’s degree in early childhood development helped her much in this laughable case.

I suspect a lot of believers need to hand off the reins to God and let Him be the Boss. We are not more capable than God. As long as we’re holding the reins, God cannot reign in our lives. It’s one thing to sing the song, “Our God Reigns” but it’s another to put it into practice. When there’s a big mountain looming in front of us and we’re still holding the reins, we have no choice but to keep going around and around the mountain — getting nowhere fast. Until we give up and give in to the fact we’re not good at bossing our
life, God will let us do it on our own.

Apostle Paul reminds us that Christ Jesus is supreme and, therefore, qualified to be the Boss of everyone and everything. “Christ is the visible image of the invisible God. He existed before anything was created and is supreme over all creation, for through Him God created everything in the heavenly realms and on earth. He made the things we can see and the things we can’t see — such as thrones, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities in the unseen world. Everything was created through Him and for Him. He existed before anything else, and He holds all creation together“ (Colossians 1:15-17 NLT).

The Key: I’m choosing God’s pecking order, which means I ain’t da boss.

My author friend, Maggie Wallem Rowe, had the privilege of sharing a working lunch with the Rev. Dr. Barry Black, who has served as Chaplain of the United States Senate since 2003.  Dr. Black, who grew up in a poverty-stricken neighborhood in Baltimore, held master’s degrees in divinity, counseling, and management as well as a doctorate in ministry and a doctor of philosophy degree in psychology.  “One smart dude,” my friend says.

Dr. Black was asked to say grace before the group began eating, and Maggie said that she expected a lengthy prayer.  Instead, this is what Dr. Black said: “Dear Father, there are friends who have no food, and those with food who have no friends.  Today, Father, we are most fortunate to have both food and friends.  For this we most humbly thank you.  In Christ’s name, Amen.”                                                                                                                                                  During this Thanksgiving season, I am reminded of how much I take my friends for granted.  Oh, yes, I always am thankful for the elaborate buffet spread before me as my daughter-in-law Jenn opens her home to dozens of relatives and friends, but when was the last time I thanked God for old (and new) friends who forgive my failings and seem grateful for the times (fewer than ever due to my new job) that we can hang together or even talk on the phone?  Those who never make me feel guilty but manage to pick up where we left off every time we reconnect?

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 weighs the importance of those kinds of friends:  Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor:  If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.  But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.           

Let’s be honest.  Losing friends is easy.  Making friends takes effort.  Or God does it for us.  In the Bible, we read about the Christian-persecutor, Saul, who was determined to stop the movement of Jesus followers.  In a split second, a blinding bolt of light caused him to fall off his horse, lose his eyesight and meet Jesus.  How desperate he must have been…until, that is, God introduced him to two of the best friends he would ever have.

First, God commanded Ananias to go to Saul to support him through his anguish and to teach him about Jesus Christ.  And then there was Barnabas, Paul’s friend in Jerusalem through which he met the disciples.  Like all good friends, they were present. Especially in hard times.  Good friends drive hundreds of miles or jump on a plane to be with us when we are struggling.  They make the effort…with no guilt or excuses.

Good friends know how to speak the right words at the right time.  Or they just remain silent and let their presence speak for them.   Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, “Brother Saul, the Lord – Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here – has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” (Acts 9:17)

Ananias did not berate Saul on what a terrible person he had been.  Instead, he shared the truth with Saul in a very gentle way and baptized him. The first person whom Saul saw after he heard the truth of the Holy Spirit was a God-sent friend.  For several days, Ananias encouraged Saul.  Good friends look for the best in each other.

Acts 9:26 says that the disciples were terrified of meeting Saul.  Enter Barnabas who joined the band of twelve and Saul together to form a partnership that birthed the Christian church.  Barnabas stayed with Saul for a lifetime. They started churches together, they grew missionaries together, and they even stayed together in the midst of disagreement.

During this Thanksgiving season, thank God for the true friends with which He has blessed you.  More importantly, be that friend to someone else.

Keys to the Kingdom

By Carolyn Tucker

How does God feel?

One morning I had a fleeting thought that I wanted to call Mom. But she’s been gone since May 2015. When you dearly love someone and then they’re no longer around, you miss the sound of their voice and the close relationship you shared. If Mom were still here, she would encourage me, give advice (if asked), kiss and hug me and say, “I love you.“ We had a sweet mother-daughter bond and I knew her like the back of my hand. We always listened closely to each other’s heart. It’s been said that people may not remember what you said but they remember how you made them feel.

Have you ever wondered how you, as a believer, make God feel? I just read an Oswald Chambers quote in one of my old journals and, with tears welling up in my eyes, it caused me to pause and think. He wrote: “We don’t consciously and deliberately disobey God — we simply don’t listen to Him. God has given His commands to us, but we pay no attention to them — not because of willful disobedience, but because we do not truly love and respect Him. Am I constantly humiliating God by ignoring Him, while He lovingly continues to treat me as His child?”

The scriptures reveal that God has feelings/emotions. Here are just a few references: “But Moses again pleaded, ’Lord, please! Send anyone else.’ Then the Lord became angry with Moses” (Exodus 4:13-14 NLT). If we push His buttons long enough, He can get  angry. “For the Lord your God is living among you. He  will take delight in you with gladness” (Zephaniah 3:17 NLT). God experiences great pleasure in His children.  “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16 NKJV). God loves extravagantly. Love is who He is. “The Lord hates these seven things: eyes that show pride, tongues that tell lies, hands that kill innocent people, hearts that plan evil things to do, feet that run to do evil, witnesses in court who tell lies, and anyone who causes family members to fight” (Proverbs 6:16-19 ERV). God’s love is to the moon and back, therefore, He hates wickedness and injustice to the max.

I think there’s a possibility that we sometimes treat God worse than we would treat our family or friends. If my best friend knocked on the door and I didn’t let her in, that would hurt her feelings. How often does God knock on our heart’s door and we act like we’re not home? How often do we neglect to read His 66 love letters? Not reading the Bible is the same as refusing to listen to Him. God also speaks to us in other ways but we can’t hear Him because we don’t want to be still. To truly love and respect God we must first know Him, and that requires spending a significant amount of time with Him.

Since God loves believers as His very own children, the last thing we want to do is disrespect and ignore Him. We don’t want to be disloyal simply because we’re hard of hearing. As our heavenly Father, He deserves our utmost love and deepest respect all the days of our lives.

The Key: God feels delight when His children make time to love, honor, obey, and worship Him.

Someone once said, “A candle loses nothing if it helps to light another.”   Encouragers know that.  They look for ways to recognize others who are disheartened or just having a “blah day” and find ways to cheer them up. The high school where I teach, the church that I attend, the retreats where I speak, the grocery store where I shop…they all offer endless opportunities to encourage others by telling them how talented or creative or helpful or needed or valued they are.  Endless opportunities.  And I’m sure, dear reader, that even though your opportunities might be different than mine, they exist just the same.  Why don’t we allow our candles to do more?

What keeps us from offering words of encouragement?  Is it jealousy?  Insecurity?  Laziness?  Are we fearful that our “quota” will be used up and we won’t have any left for the “really important” people we need to build up?

Saint Paul was an encourager.  He constantly wrote letters to various churches, praising them for their faithfulness, for the use of their spiritual gifts, and for their sacrifice in “running the race” and not quitting.  Even from his prison cell, he galvanized fellow Christians, inspiring them to continue the work he was prevented from doing.  In his letter to the Thessalonians, he wasted no words: “…encourage one another and build one another up…”

I have been the recipient of encouragement that has changed my life’s direction.  When we lived in Houston and attended a Bible church, Dave and I became friends with the pastor, Jack, and his wife, Lael.  It was she who pushed me to write down some of my crazy stories, realizing there were spiritual applications in all of them.  Even though I felt totally inadequate when it came to writing or speaking, Lael saw potential and encouraged me.

That same friend also dragged me along to a conference for professional speakers.  It was there I was critiqued by Carol Kent who later asked me to “come on board” and join her group of Christian speakers.  Both Lael and Carol motivated me to write and rewrite and rewrite some more, to practice my speaking, and to never give up (and trust me, I wanted to).

Elaine, my Fort Scott friend, listened to my story about my struggles establishing a “platform” so that my name would be recognized and I could get my book published.  It was she who suggested I contact the Tribune to submit articles for its religion section.  It was she who sent me a wonderfully supportive e-mail after my first article was printed.

My lawyer friend Rick expressed concern that I might not be thick-skinned enough for this newspaper-writing task, yet he kindly offered to proof my articles before I wrote something that either got me sued or caused a response that made me cry.

And there’s my faithful husband, Dave, who finds a way to see potential in whatever I undertake and praises my efforts, even when I fail.

Returning to teaching this year has shown me how desperate teens are to feel like they matter.  A recent assignment in which they were to write about an area in which they are hurting followed by a response to themselves, seeing something positive in their area of heartbreak, left me grieving for the things most of them have experienced.  How blessed I was to write on each one a note to offer them hope by telling them that God never makes a mistake and that I see their value!

Encouragers have used their candles to light mine, and I am determined to spread that light to others I meet.  On the “encouragement continuum of life,” where do you fall?  Are you the candle that spreads its energy, or are you the one that selfishly hoards your wick’s potential?  I “encourage” you to start today.  Look for ways to compliment, to build up, and to inspire someone else.  It just might be the best way to ensure your own light never gets extinguished.

Mark explains two approaches to dealing with loud generators. This video shows the protections we have in place today and contrasts them with the proposals for the future.

Keys to the Kingdom By Carolyn Tucker

A Daughter Remembers Veterans

I can’t help it. I love veterans! I’ve been known to approach a stranger wearing a military cap, shake his hand and say, “Thank you, I appreciate your service.” I also can’t help the tears that well up in my eyes when I do this. My dad’s heroic military stories from WWII are what awakened my heart to love, honor, and respect veterans. I can’t help it. I love veterans! They are my heroes and deserve my deepest gratitude and respect.

Married in 1943, my parents were newlyweds when Dad was drafted into the Army in 1944. Although some men were desperate to see action and signed up, Dad always made it clear (to me) that he was drafted. He was willing to go to war, but it sure wasn’t on his wishlist. But once his feet hit the Rhineland in Central Europe, he was in it to win it.

Dad was in General Patton’s 90^th Infantry Division, Third Army, Company B, which was used as a spearhead. These troops were sent out to a point, fighting as they advanced. Then they were to hold that position while other regiments filled in the gaps. When “Blood & Guts” Patton visited the 90^th on the battlefield in Germany, he told them that although he knew they were tired, it was necessary for them to continue to fight. Patton’s tanks and troops became legendary for their success. All of our veterans are courageous and exemplary examples of a selfless life.

No doubt about it, the American soldier is ingenious. Dad said that in the winter, when the soldiers could not capture a town in which to sleep, they would make three large snowballs or “snow rolls”. Two of them were placed on each side, with the third on the windward end and then lined with pine tree branches.

Dad was given charge of a (Polish or Czech) 14-year-old boy that had been freed as a prisoner and stayed on with the troops. The kid, who could fluently speak four languages  (but not English), desperately wanted to fight the Germans because they had killed his parents. One night Dad was in a foxhole and, after four hours of sleep, was to relieve the point man in the foxhole ahead of him. The boy was sent to awaken Dad, so he began  excitedly yelling something other than English as he grabbed Dad’s leg to awaken him. Greatly startled and thinking the Germans had come upon him, Dad grabbed for his M-1  rifle. Not being able to find the rifle immediately in the dark saved the boy’s life! After this near-fatal incident, I happen to know for a fact that Dad gave very emphatic instructions that he was to never ever to be awakened by that boy again!

Unlike Audie Murphy, America’s most-decorated WWII soldier, Dad didn’t write an autobiography of his two-year stint on the front lines. But he could have. If I initiated the subject, he would talk about the War. But it was never something he bragged about. Rather, he wept when he recounted the details of the horrific battle in the village of Morhausen, Germany which was full of Hitler’s SS troopers. That is the night battle engagement in which he was awarded the bronze star.

I can’t help it, I love our U.S. veterans. We shall, we must, continue to honor and respect our remarkably brave men and women who serve in the military.

The Key: Let us celebrate our heroic American veterans who have fought for freedom and liberty for all.

Jesus did not make it easy to be a disciple, but I can’t figure out why he chose such a ragtag group of nobodies to fill that role.  In their defense, fishing and collecting taxes had to be a lot easier than trying to figure out what Jesus was teaching them.  No doubt, the twelve spent most of their time scratching their heads, wondering what they had gotten themselves into. Can you imagine their private conversations when Jesus went off to be alone?

When they questioned their teacher about the purpose of using parables, this was his answer: “To you it has been given to know the secrets of the kingdom of heaven, but to them (the other followers) it has not been given.” (Matthew 10: 10) How frustrating when they were supposed to “get it” but couldn’t!

“Any of you guys understand what happened to that fig tree today?”

“I sure wouldn’t have hidden that treasure.  I would have grabbed that baby and run!”

“I don’t blame the prodigal son’s older brother.  Who wouldn’t be mad?”

“If we go after one sheep, couldn’t the other 99 run away?”

“How are we supposed to know if leaven is good or bad?”

“Anybody get the ‘unshrunk cloth on a new garment’ or ‘new wine into old wineskins’?”

“I didn’t sign up to pluck out my eyes.”

The twelve Jesus chose would not have been the ones I would have selected to work in my company.  Not exactly Mensa candidates, they constantly misunderstood Jesus, vied for the top position in the group, doubted what he said and failed to accomplish the tasks set before them.  They were the poster children for the adage “Everyone’s trash is someone else’s treasure.”

It’s not dissimilar from stories of people who buy some junky ceramic piece only to find it is a priceless heirloom.  How about those times when you go shopping in a second-hand store and come across a $10 pastel sweater in your size with the Niemann Marcus, $350 tag still on it?  Even if it doesn’t fit, surely someone will benefit from your purchase, right?

That’s how it was with Jesus’ chosen disciples. Some scholars believe that Mark was the first gospel from which the other apostles wrote their own accounts of Jesus’ life.  He demonstrated Jesus’ exasperation and frustration with his disciples for their slow comprehension of faith and spirituality. Nevertheless, at the conclusion of Mark’s gospel, he writes of their progress, and even though they failed at more lessons than they passed, the end result of their missionary work proved they were chosen gems.  Who doesn’t love that kind of story?

In my Introduction to Education class I am teaching this year, I showed my students the Temple Grandin movie, the true story of an autistic girl who was bullied, teased and avoided by classmates and coworkers.  Even educators mocked her inability to socialize. One of our discussions centered on how those who viewed Temple as discarded trash had to feel when they realized she obtained a Ph.D., became a professor at the University of Colorado and revolutionized the cattle industry.  How many of the disciples’ neighbors and relatives dealt with that same realization?

Just like Jesus did not make it easy to be one of the twelve disciples, Christians in other parts of the world are having to prove their faith in ways we spoiled Americans never have had to. So, before we haughtily pat ourselves on our backs for being so spiritual, maybe we need instead to ask ourselves one question:  “When was the last time I treated some discarded “trash” as Jesus’ treasure?”

When Employees Become “Independent Contractors” in the Workplace

In today’s professional world, whether in business, education, or athletics, it seems more and more employees are stepping out on their own, acting like independent contractors rather than team members. They make decisions without proper communication, manipulate systems to serve their own interests, and assume their way is better than the direction given by their superiors.

We see this trend vividly in collegiate football right now. High-dollar coaches are being fired across the country. Some of these dismissals stem from not winning enough games. Others may have deeper causes. Are these coaches being terminated because they failed to meet expectations set by their superiors, or because they failed to follow direction? There’s an important distinction between the two.
If a head coach is doing exactly what leadership asked of them and still falls short in the win column, perhaps the goals were unrealistic. If there is a preponderance of evidence that the coach ignored institutional direction, ran their own system, or operated as a lone ranger, then termination makes sense. After all, leadership only works when communication and alignment exist between the people holding the rope together.

This same principle applies far beyond the football field. Consider a Vice President or senior administrator who quietly manipulates policies or practices to favor their employees without the consent of the college leadership. Their boss may unknowingly sign off on paperwork or approve decisions that were not made transparently. It’s easy to “slide things by” when trust exists. When that trust is broken, when the deception is discovered, should that VP or senior administrator be held accountable?

Both the coach and the executive are charged with leading others, but they are also charged with following direction. When they decide to become “independent contractors,” doing things their own way without transparency, it erodes trust and disrupts the chain of leadership.

I often think of leadership as a rope. When leaders are tied together, they help hold one another up. When someone decides to step too far away, operating independently, cutting corners, or hiding decisions, they stretch the rope thin. Eventually, someone slips. When that happens, no one can hold them up. They hang by their own actions.

It’s a hard truth in any organization: autonomy without accountability leads to failure. The best employees, coaches, and leaders understand that communication and collaboration are not signs of weakness, they are signs of strength. Keeping your superior “in the light” on everything you do isn’t just respectful; it’s responsible leadership.

In the end, it’s better to share the rope than to cut it.

Thought for the Week, “In any organization, accountability is the rope that ties leadership together. Without it, trust unravels, and when trust unravels, the whole system begins to fall.” Reb Brock, one of the leading strength coaches in America.

Dr. Jack Welch serves as President of Fort Scott Community College. With a career spanning professional sports, public education, and rural community development, he brings a servant-leader mindset and a passion for building trust-driven cultures that empower people to thrive in the classroom, on the field, and in life. He is also the author of Foundations of Coaching: The Total Coaching Manual.

Keys to the Kingdom

By Carolyn Tucker

DIY and DYI

My late husband was definitely a DIY guy. Whatever needed to be built, he built it. Whatever needed to be repaired, he repaired it. I watched him repair my washer and dryer and many other things even though he had no previous experience with those appliances or items. I learned early on in our marriage not to despair when something malfunctioned or flat-out bit the dust. It didn’t matter what it was, he could fix it. One day I was visiting with my daughter about working on a project and I got mixed up and called it DYI and she immediately labeled it “Do Yourself In.” I thought that was both funny and true.

Some projects are fine to do yourself. But some things (like life) won’t turn out well if you attempt to do it all by yourself. Believers can “do ourselves in” trying to live without God’s grace and strength. It’s a nonbiblical and miserable way to live when we only trust in ourselves. We can strive and struggle to do things on our own, or we can invite God to be I AM like He was for Moses.

In the Book of Psalms, David is praising God because He rescued him from all his  enemies. David is declaring that he constantly trusts God to take care of him. “The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and He saved me from my enemies“ (Psalm 18:2-3 NLT). In today’s culture, worry, stress, and anxiety would be considered enemies, along with many other  troublesome emotions and distressing situations.

Life, even on a good day, is too complicated to think you can do it yourself. I know of a minister that was curious and asked the Lord, “What would my life be like if the Holy Spirit wasn’t involved?” After that honest question, the man (who was also a musician)  said he couldn’t think clearly to choose the songs and play piano for the church service. He had to ask someone else to lead the worship. In addition, he couldn’t even style his hair! The minister quickly found out he couldn’t really do anything without the Holy Spirit’s help. It would appear that believers take God’s involvement and guidance in our daily lives for granted.

If we want to fix something, let’s do it the way Paul told Timothy to do it: “I have [fixed my] hope on the living God, Who is the Savior (Preserver, Maintainer, Deliverer) of all men, especially of those who believe (trust in, rely on, and adhere to Him)” (1 Timothy 4:10 AMP). Believers are supposed to adhere to God like an adhesive bandage sticks to our skin. Like an athlete, we have a spiritual race to run in order to win the crown of life. Our endurance is undergirded by trusting in the living God to get us over the finish line. But no one is going to even get close to the finish line with a DIY attitude and theology.

We can rely on this truth: “I can do all things because of Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13 MEV). Abiding in Christ is the secret to accomplishing whatever He has called us to do. And relying on Christ for His strength and empowerment will get us through life’s challenges without breaking down.

The Key: Don’t DYI by thinking you can DIY.

Anger comes easy for many of us.  It becomes our “default” emotion when anyone strongly disagrees with us, and if that person blows his/her temper first, we, by golly, will blow ours with more gusto.  Colossians 4:5 (NIV) cautions against our little tantrums: Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. 

At lunch the other day, I witnessed what should have been a congenial dialogue heat up when President Trump’s name was mentioned.  I did everything I could to calm the two hotheads, to no avail.  Making the most of this opportunity was not on either man’s agenda.  Neither cared about the other’s right to disagree, nor did either concern himself with how polarizing the conversation became.  Not even when I interrupted with “So, how about those Chiefs?” did the battle die down.

Proverbs 18:2 described these individuals better than I can: Fools take no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing their opinion. This clearly was a political battle to win, not a conversation to understand.  I don’t know about you, but I have never heard a Democrat convert a Republican or a Republican convert a Democrat.  Never!  Yet, friendships dissolve and families implode over this issue.  Ugly seeds are planted when this happens.

Understand that neither of these people asked a question to help clarify or uncover an area of possible agreement.  Both arguers were listening only to counter with their next argument.  One-upmanship at its finest!  James 1:19 had much to teach these two: Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.

At one point, I interjected that my most frustrating part of the political debates was that no one seemed capable of admitting that his/her opponent had something positive to contribute.  As a teacher, we called it the “Oreo approach.”  Say something nice, then lower the boom, and then end with something pleasant. Neither of these lunch partners found one positive trait about their political opposition.  Even “He chews with his mouth closed” or “He mentioned God the other day” would have received a head-nod.

To converse respectfully, we need to seek common ground.  That means we might discuss the weather (avoid climate change, of course) or what we liked about the Superbowl commercials (yes, a serious stretch) or the high cost of groceries.  We can praise each other’s family or a trait about the other person we admire.  Building a firm foundation enables mutual respect so that we not only listen well but are heard.

Another thing we need to do is to research our position so that it is not just our hair-brained opinion of what we think is true.  This can include facts, statistics, research studies, expert opinions, or historical examples. By substantiating our arguments with verifiable evidence, we lend credibility to our position.

There are, of course, things we need to avoid.  Raising our voice. Being sarcastic or mocking what the other person shared. Rolling our eyes or laughing inappropriately.  None of these will cause the other person to become our friend or listen to us.  Proverbs 16:21 tells us what we need to do: The wise in heart will be called understanding, and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.  Sometimes the best thing we can do is to let the other person know that we will pray about what we have heard and spend some time researching what he/she has said.

Above all else, we must remember that we are representing Christ, and he would much prefer we leave the discussion with our relationship intact than attacking and walking away. One conversation may not result in much change, but it is our responsibility to plant seeds and let God bring the harvest.