Keys to the Kingdom By Carolyn Tucker

Slap Somebody

The longer I live, the more opportunities I have to interact with people. The family and friends I’ve grown up with are on my “warm and fuzzy forever list” in my heart. And I’m happy to say I’ve continued to add new people to that list. God knows how to bring good people into my life to be a blessing to me and, hopefully, I can be a blessing to them. It’s a win-win and I need and love that interaction. Individuals who come along side me, slap me on the back and say encouraging words are a gift straight from God.

I’d like to slap my readers on the back and offer some encouragement for those who suffer from having trouble forgiving themselves. Please remember that no one is perfect — with a good heart and our best intentions we all have faults, failures, and shortcomings. (I’m not talking about sin, which is practicing a transgression knowing it’s against God’s Word.) I’m referring to decisions and actions that were less than perfect in retrospect, but actually the best that could be done at the time. Focusing on our failures opens the door to regret, and that’s a dangerous life-sucking emotion to allow into our heart and mind. Yesterday, and what we did or didn’t do, is gone. It does no good to replay it in our mind.

Apostle Paul wrote to encourage the Church in Philippi, “I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead…” (Philippians 3:13 NLT). If any Christ follower had something to regret and stew over, it was Paul. He hunted down, persecuted, jailed, and stoned Christians to death. But Jesus loved him, had a specific mission for him, and turned him around 180 degrees. If Paul could successfully overcome his past, we can too. We have the same liberating grace and perseverance available to us as Paul. God hasn‘t changed; what He says we can have we can surely obtain.

Hopefully, most Christ followers have no trouble forgiving others, but many have trouble forgiving themselves. Honestly, Jesus’ command to forgive one another would include yourself. Make the quality decision to forgive yourself and then let it go. You should slap yourself on the back and say, “I did the best I could at the time,” and don’t look back. I have a retired Navy pilot friend who says, “The runway behind you ain’t no good.” Stop letting the devil slap you around in your mind and emotions. We all know that he whispers lies because he’s the Granddaddy Liar (ref. John 8:44).

As believers, we aren’t supposed to be just barely hanging on by the hair of our chinny chin chin until we get to go to heaven. The abundant life Jesus talks about in John 10:10 is referring to how we live on earth now. Don’t let the disappointments of your past poison your today. Since God forgives and forgets our sins, we can surely forgive and move past our failures. We must partner with God’s plan, not Satan’s miserable plan. The devil is good at what he does because he’s had a lot of practice at ruination. But Jesus has the antidote for regret and it’s called restoration. “He restoreth my soul” (Psalm 23:3). That’s a promise you can take to the bank. I know firsthand.

Consider yourself hugged, loved, and slapped. Now get back to living the abundant life and look for people you can slap on the back and verbally encourage. They need you!

The Key: I’d rather slap someone on the back than their face.

Keys to the Kingdom By Carolyn Tucker

The Ruptured Duck

Several years ago (when Dad was still alive) I was looking through his World War II citations and decorations as he explained what each one represented. I respectfully picked up the Bronze Star which was still nestled in its original box. He had previously told me that a total of 400 infantrymen were to secure the village of Morhausen, Germany. Unfortunately, the other company of 200 that was to enter from the opposite side never made their objective. The village was full of Hitler’s SS troopers. Out of the 200 U.S. soldiers engaged in this horrific battle, 183 were either killed or wounded. My dad was never wounded in the war. After telling me this detailed incident of earning his Bronze Star, he walked out of the room and bawled like a baby.

My brother and I were very proud of our father’s military heroics. I appreciate the booklet  Randy wrote entitled, “Step by Step in Patton’s Third Army,” which was Dad’s personal account of his service during World War II. While writing this column, I fought back tears as I fingered through all his military insignia, and studied the U.S. Army Combat Infantryman Badge in my hands. This was awarded to Dad for performing duties under fire and engaging in active ground combat in the 90^th Infantry Division. I can still hear Dad explain, “Nobody got one of these unless he’d fought on the front lines.”

“Carry on” is a military command that means to continue with what you were doing. It  describes someone who continues with his/her assignment despite difficulties. I think Christ followers should adopt this terminology as well. No matter what is going on in the family, at work, church, our Nation, or the world, we must persevere in the face of obstacles. God will reward us for carrying on and being faithful. When my dad died, I was heartbroken and took it very hard. During that season of sorrow, I was reminded of his two beautiful Army pins that read “Carry On.”  Those two little words encouraged me to pull myself up by my bootstraps and carry on with life. Of course, I couldn’t have done that without God’s strength and grace. “If my heart is broken, I’ll find God right there; if I’m kicked in the gut, He’ll help me catch my breath” (Psalm 34:18 MSG.)

Dad’s Honorable Discharge pin displays our national eagle inside a wreath. A lot of the service men, including my dad, referred to it as the Ruptured Duck. Many WWII vets wore this pin on their civilian lapels for years after the war’s end as proof of their service.  While writing this column, I also found a piece of “sweetheart jewelry.” Mom wore a smaller and delicate USA Army Staff Sergeant pin to show that her young 21-year-old husband was currently in the military (1944 to 1946.) This was considered a fashionable and personal way to support the war effort during that era.

I love, appreciate, and honor our U.S. military heroes. When I salute our United States flag, I proudly think of all our past and current brave men and women who put their lives on the line for our freedom. They deserve our deepest gratitude and utmost support. They carry on, no matter what. Retreat or surrender was simply not in General Patton’s vocabulary. When life turns into a hot battle, the enemy (Satan) will try to convince you to wave a white flag. Don’t do it — just carry on! “If your faith remains strong, even while surrounded by life’s difficulties, you will continue to experience the untold blessings of God! True happiness comes as you pass the test with faith, and receive the victorious crown of life promised to every lover of God! (James 1:12 TPT.)

The Key: If you want that Ruptured Duck (crown of life), you gotta  “carry on.“

Last week, I wrote about my friend who was having a double mastectomy.   Her surgery was complicated because she had zero body fat needed to reconstruct her breasts.  When I told Dave, his response did not surprise me.  “Did you tell her that you—I mean we—could donate some of ours?”  After sharing that with my friend, we both cracked up (she more than I).

My friend is now home from the hospital.  We spoke yesterday.  The evening before, it hit her: part of her womanhood was permanently gone. Sitting on the edge of her bed, she teared up but then felt a nudge to turn on her television.  There was Nick Vujicic, the evangelist born with no legs or arms, speaking about how God had used his disability to give people encouragement.  She knew that God had offered her that nudging so she would refuse to feel sorry for herself.

The pity pot can be such a cushy place to stay, can’t it?  When life is all about me, it can become my frequent resting spot.  But what would life look like if I chose, instead, to find my comfort in Jesus’ loving arms? I would no longer dwell on how my troubles seem to outweigh God’s ability to make things better and would focus on Romans 8:28 which reminds us that all things work together for good “for those that love the Lord” and are called according to His purpose.

“For those that love the Lord.”  What does that kind of love entail?

The Bible gives us a great example of Joseph who, though experiencing serious injustices, loved the Lord and refused to live with a victim mentality.  Genesis 37:12-28 tells us that his jealous brothers threw him into a pit and then sold him to Egyptian slave traders who sold him to Potiphar, Pharoah’s captain of the guard.

Potiphar favored Joseph and put him in charge of his household…until, that is, Potiphar’s wife falsely accused Joseph of assaulting her and he was thrown in prison.  Once released (over a decade later), Pharoah put Joseph in charge of the whole land of Egypt.  From the pit to the palace.

You see, Joseph never suffered from self-pity.  He always trusted that God would make something good out of something bad, and he was right.  God wants to do the same for us.  We never should get comfortable on the pity pot, an oppressive trap of the enemy. Matthew 5:14-16 tells us why.  You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.                                                                                                                               

Staying on the pity pot will keep us immobile.  Joyless.  Stuck on our wants.  Unable to forgive and move on.  Bitter.  Selfish.  And in a very, very dark place.  If we want our light seen by others, we, like Joseph, must decide where it can shine best.

Keys to the Kingdom By Carolyn Tucker

Right in the Middle

First thing in the morning, quite often I will step out onto the front porch to scrutinize the weather. One morning I was amazed to witness dark clouds to the west, thunder in the north, pleasant skies to the south, and sunshine to the east. It was a very mixed bag of elements. And where was I? Right in the middle of it. This scenario reminded me of life  because some days are happy-go-lucky and some are tempestuous with no storm warning.

On stormy days or seasons, I must remember Psalm 68:5 which I have paraphrased on an   index card that sits on my computer: “God is a father to the fatherless and a protector of the widow.” Interestingly, I am both fatherless and a widow. But I’m also rich according to God‘s heavenly storehouse. One definition of rich is: plentiful; a full supply; abundant provision. Apostle Paul wrote to the Church in Philippi and reminded them, “But my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19 KJV).

Christ followers are rich in our heavenly Father’s love. We’re rich in His mercies every morning. We’re rich in His forgiveness. We’re rich in His protection. We’re rich in His peace, and the list could go on. As the Almighty Everlasting Father, God supplies us with whatever we need in every aspect. When children need something, all they have to do is ask their parents for it. When (not if) we have a stormy day with desperate needs, we too are to ask our Father and then, “Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act“ (Psalm 37:7 NLT).

On one of my darkest days a few years ago, I placed a magnet on my refrigerator that read, “Even when you don’t see it, God is working things out for your good.“ That statement based on Romans 8:28 gave me hope that the present storm would eventually end. Not every storm that hits is in the forecast, so the magnet remains in plain sight to encourage me whenever I find myself in the middle of another storm. From his own experience, King David wrote, “God’s glory is all around me! His wrap-around presence is all I need, for the Lord is my Savior, my hero, and my life-giving strength. Join me, everyone! Trust only in God every moment. Tell Him all your troubles and pour out your heart-longings to Him. Believe me when I tell you — He will help you!” (Psalm 62:7,8 TPT). As Bro. Smith, my childhood pastor, would say, “God is still on the throne.”

If we believers could really grasp the truth that there’s no risk of failure with God, we wouldn’t let worry and anxiety paralyze us when the storms of life hit us square in the face. We don’t like the painful experience, but our faith grows during the roughest times in our life. I want to be like King David and have a bold, unshakeable, triumphant faith that doesn’t tear to shreds when the stormwinds blow.

Let these scriptures settle your soul and give you peace: “I will greatly protect you. I will set you in a high place, safe and secure before My face. I will answer your cry for help every time you pray, and you will find and feel My presence even in your time of pressure and trouble” (Psalm 91:14-15 TPT).

The Key: Where is Jesus when the storms of life hit? Right in the middle with us.

Keys to the Kingdom By Carolyn Tucker

Growing up as a country girl, I learned that when I opened a gate and walked through, I needed to immediately close the gate. Most farm animals are basically just waiting patiently to make a jailbreak. You might think they’re just minding their own business, chewing their cud, scratching on the side of the barn, or grazing, but they’re actually scoping out the joint. Several years ago, one of us didn’t chain the gate properly and our horses escaped. They didn’t go far, but they went far enough. They moseyed down the lane, looked both ways and crossed the highway, then went calling on the neighbor horses. Gates are extremely important to the owners of sneaky, conniving farm animals. When given half a chance, they’ll bust out of jail every time.

In the New Testament, Jesus speaks candidly about two different gates. “You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it” (Matthew 7:13-14 NLT). Everyone has been given the right to make their own choices, aka free will. Jesus knows mankind’s  tendency and He solemnly declared that few would choose the narrow gate that leads to an abundant life here and eternal life in heaven. When individuals choose the wide gate, they’re forfeiting Jesus’ gift of eternal life and taking Broadway Street to Hell.

In certain situations, I‘ve been known to say, “There’s more than one way to skin a cat.” This colloquialism means there’s multiple ways to accomplish a task or achieve the same end. (For cat lovers, this saying is referring to skinning a catfish.) For example, you  can skin a catfish either before or after you fillet it.

Some individuals say, “There’s more than one way to get to heaven.” Nope. Jesus told Thomas, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through Me“ (John 14:6 NLT). There are two gates to choose from when entering either the Highway to Heaven or the Highway to Hell. The battle between right (Good Gate) and wrong (Evil Gate) has been going on since the Garden of Eden.

While standing at the Narrow and Wide Gates deciding which one to enter, it would be good to sit down and count the cost of choosing poorly. Jesus paid the entry fee for everyone to enter the Narrow Gate. The difficult way of this gate is definitely the road less traveled, but it’s certainly worth it. Jesus spoke encouraging words to His disciples, and the same message is for Christ followers today: “And everything I’ve taught you is so that the peace which is in Me will be in you and will give you great confidence as you rest in Me. For in this unbelieving world you will experience trouble and sorrows, but you must be courageous, for I have conquered the world!” (John 16:33 TPT).

After wisely choosing the narrow gate, life continues to be full of daily choices. We can choose to walk in holiness or selfishness, wisdom or folly, integrity or deceitfulness, love or hatred. The Holy Spirit lives inside believers to help us make right decisions. So we must learn to listen to Him so we won‘t make foolish choices.

The Key: When you come to the end of your journey, you won’t be sorry you chose the narrow

She graduated from seminary with a Master of Theology degree and became a well-known, Christian speaker.  I met Lucinda about twenty years ago when she welcomed me into her home and church where her husband pastored.  Sixteen years before that, while speaking at a ladies’ retreat, Lucinda was asked to pray for the pastor’s wife who was in the hospital, dying of cancer.  When she met the frail woman, Lucinda asked how she could pray specifically for her needs.

“Pray for my husband to meet and marry a follower of Jesus who will be a good mother to my two children, especially Justin, our six-year-old, special needs son.”  Lucinda’s heart broke for this precious woman who died a few days later.  She continued to pray as the woman had directed.

Two years later, my friend was at a Christian event when she was introduced to a young pastor.  Within a few months, they began dating, and Lucinda met his children, one, an eight-year-old, autistic boy. God had orchestrated a meeting between Lucinda and this man, the husband of the dying woman Lucinda had prayed for.  Little did she know, she would become that man’s wife and mother of his children.

As a guest in Lucinda’s home, I met her son, Justin, who had just returned with a gold medal from the Special Olympics’ tennis competition.  Following dinner, Justin announced that it was his turn to wash the dishes.  I asked if I could dry.  “Probably not,” he said.  “You probably won’t do it right.”  I cracked up, but Lucinda lovingly told him that his criticism was not warranted and he should give me a chance.  Which he did.  I immediately learned that Justin had a very specific way to handle dish-drying.  I never knew that that task could be so ardeous.

Lucinda died a few months ago, an unexpected cancer diagnosis that came just as she was finishing her book 52 Blessings for Women.  Her devotional is for women who are “weary and wandering, disheartened and discouraged, stressed and searching” (basically, every woman I know). Little did she know, she would be asked to endure the very thing other women were enduring in hopes her words would be a blessing to them.

A few weeks ago, Janet, an author and close friend of Lucinda, asked fellow writers to help spread the message of Lucinda’s soon-to-be-published book.  Would we be willing to read it and share its message with others?  I signed on, and yesterday, my friend’s devotional was delivered to my home.  The last sentence of her introduction is the perfect picture of Lucinda’s life.  “Lucinda was always the first to offer an encouraging word, and it was her mission to communicate God’s faithfulness, extend His grace, and encourage others to trust him fully.”

And now, through her death, she is able to do just that as she wrote for us all to be a blessing to others…not in a fake sort of way, but to truly lean into the hearts of those we encounter, to encourage them to be an encouragement as a tangible way to show love and compassion.

Although Lucinda never got to see the fruits of her newest writing labors on earth, I’m sure she is seeing them through eternal eyes.  Thank you, Lucinda, for inspiring so many of us to do better.

Keys to the Kingdom

By Carolyn Tucker

Do It Now

When my kids were young and I would give them instructions to perform a chore, they had a tendency to just keep playing. They weren’t ignoring me or being rebellious, they were simply waiting a few more minutes before they acted. Well, my dad was a World War II Army staff sergeant, and I seem to possess some of those same qualities. I explained to Mariam and Aaron that I expected them to get up and move as soon as I finished the instructions. It was for their good and my sanity that they learned prompt obedience. The result of this old-school upbringing caused them to revere God, be respectful of authority, and also cultivated a seed of excellence for their future careers. Plus it kept me out of the insane asylum.

I cannot treat God like a child and try to order Him around. In truth, I’m His child and He’s my Father. Life will never go well if I try to reverse those divinely-established roles. Believers are supposed to go to the Father with our needs and then patiently trust Him. “So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive His mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most” (Hebrews 4:16 NLT). God hears, cares, and acts with well-timed help, coming just when we need it.

While we’re waiting on God’s help, our job is to keep “steady on” in patience. Galatians 6:9 NKJV states, “Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” I used to think that meant, “Don’t get burned out while doing good.” But I believe it also means, “Don’t give up on God while you wait.“ We’re “doing good” when we wait on God with a courageous faith-filled attitude. So don’t be deceived or disheartened — keep on trusting and persevering.   

When God’s answer is taking longer than we expected, it’s a good idea to take inventory of what’s inside us. He could actually be waiting on us to totally surrender the “thing” that’s stressing us so He can take it and do what only He can do. God won’t do anything with our messes, stresses, and sorrows until we relinquish our hold on them. We can’t receive a gift until the individual releases it into our hand. We can’t receive the peace of God that passes understanding until we release the entirety of the care to Him — it’s like a Divine trade. Honesty and a broken heart are two things God will not ignore.

We live life one hour at a time as we focus forward and wait for answers to our humble requests for help. Patience is a virtue but perseverance is a choice. Apostle Paul wrote to the Thessalonian church to encourage them to hold fast to their faith, knowing that God would act on their behalf. “Now may the Lord move your hearts into a greater understanding of God’s pure love for you and into Christ’s steadfast endurance” (2 Thessalonians 3:5 TPT). Don’t stop believin’ that your breakthrough is just about ready to knock on your door. Don’t get stuck in the middle of going through a trial. Winston Churchill said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Paul and Winston would surely have been good friends had they lived at the same time.

If you’re waiting on God to send help, you’re in good company. In Psalm 23, King David reminds us that God will restore our soul.

The Key: Your help is on the way. Never, never, never give up on God.

Recently, my granddaughter Britney was married to Gage, a young man she met when visiting Fort Scott last year.  Britney is from the Las Vegas area but has been finishing up her paramedic credentials in Utah.  The wedding was held at my son and his wife’s ranch.  Britney had three flower girls and Gage had three ring bearer attendants, each gender with two two-year-olds and one four-year-old. You get where I’m going.

The guests were to sit on stained boards that rested atop hay bales, bales that would be delivered the morning of the wedding.  For spacing purposes, the boards were placed on the ground.  To the rug-rats, these boards were perfect gymnastics balance beans for jumping over.  Or on.  Or around.

We all watched, astonished, as they giggled, chased each other down the aisle, attempted to vault over the wooden boards and tackled each other.  Things weren’t much better for the “let’s try that again” attempt…you know, after each parent—most in the bridal party– took their child aside and bribed them with everything but a live pony.

We expected the worst.  Preparations for this wedding had taken months. Both sets of parents and family members had worked to make everything perfect, and Britney’s mother had spent most of September in Fort Scott, away from her family, to work with Gage’s parents on the smallest of details.  And now, six little ones were going to cause havoc.

On the wedding day, these kiddies, now dressed alike with hair slicked or curled, shocked us all when they walked slowly down the aisle in single file, taking their “jobs” seriously.  Flower petals were methodically dropped to the ground, and this time, the chief ring bearer actually handed off the case with the wedding rings in it instead of practicing his quarterback pass with it. No one escaped and ran towards the pond, and they even sat quietly with their assigned adult during the ceremony.  Surely they were A.I. imposters, switched out for some well-behaved youngsters.

Both the wedding and the reception were lovely, months of planning paying off.  The Bible uses a metaphor of a wedding in which our time of “planning” for it also will pay off.  In Ephesians 5, we read that Jesus Christ has sacrificially chosen the church to be his bride, and just as in Bible times there was a betrothal period in which the bride and groom were separated until the wedding, so it is with us and Christ.  We faithfully wait with great anticipation for his return when we will be united with him.  Sometimes we act foolishly, immaturely, selfishly, childishly.  Other times, we face the importance of what we are doing and take our future wedding seriously.

The “details” of our waiting makes a difference.  Should we fail to take our decision to allow Christ in our lives with the seriousness it deserves and continue to act in whatever way we choose, there will be no wedding.  We must ask ourselves what matters most and behave accordingly because at that point, not even a pony will be enough.