Keys to the Kingdom

By Carolyn Tucker

DIY and DYI

My late husband was definitely a DIY guy. Whatever needed to be built, he built it. Whatever needed to be repaired, he repaired it. I watched him repair my washer and dryer and many other things even though he had no previous experience with those appliances or items. I learned early on in our marriage not to despair when something malfunctioned or flat-out bit the dust. It didn’t matter what it was, he could fix it. One day I was visiting with my daughter about working on a project and I got mixed up and called it DYI and she immediately labeled it “Do Yourself In.” I thought that was both funny and true.

Some projects are fine to do yourself. But some things (like life) won’t turn out well if you attempt to do it all by yourself. Believers can “do ourselves in” trying to live without God’s grace and strength. It’s a nonbiblical and miserable way to live when we only trust in ourselves. We can strive and struggle to do things on our own, or we can invite God to be I AM like He was for Moses.

In the Book of Psalms, David is praising God because He rescued him from all his  enemies. David is declaring that he constantly trusts God to take care of him. “The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and He saved me from my enemies“ (Psalm 18:2-3 NLT). In today’s culture, worry, stress, and anxiety would be considered enemies, along with many other  troublesome emotions and distressing situations.

Life, even on a good day, is too complicated to think you can do it yourself. I know of a minister that was curious and asked the Lord, “What would my life be like if the Holy Spirit wasn’t involved?” After that honest question, the man (who was also a musician)  said he couldn’t think clearly to choose the songs and play piano for the church service. He had to ask someone else to lead the worship. In addition, he couldn’t even style his hair! The minister quickly found out he couldn’t really do anything without the Holy Spirit’s help. It would appear that believers take God’s involvement and guidance in our daily lives for granted.

If we want to fix something, let’s do it the way Paul told Timothy to do it: “I have [fixed my] hope on the living God, Who is the Savior (Preserver, Maintainer, Deliverer) of all men, especially of those who believe (trust in, rely on, and adhere to Him)” (1 Timothy 4:10 AMP). Believers are supposed to adhere to God like an adhesive bandage sticks to our skin. Like an athlete, we have a spiritual race to run in order to win the crown of life. Our endurance is undergirded by trusting in the living God to get us over the finish line. But no one is going to even get close to the finish line with a DIY attitude and theology.

We can rely on this truth: “I can do all things because of Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13 MEV). Abiding in Christ is the secret to accomplishing whatever He has called us to do. And relying on Christ for His strength and empowerment will get us through life’s challenges without breaking down.

The Key: Don’t DYI by thinking you can DIY.

Anger comes easy for many of us.  It becomes our “default” emotion when anyone strongly disagrees with us, and if that person blows his/her temper first, we, by golly, will blow ours with more gusto.  Colossians 4:5 (NIV) cautions against our little tantrums: Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. 

At lunch the other day, I witnessed what should have been a congenial dialogue heat up when President Trump’s name was mentioned.  I did everything I could to calm the two hotheads, to no avail.  Making the most of this opportunity was not on either man’s agenda.  Neither cared about the other’s right to disagree, nor did either concern himself with how polarizing the conversation became.  Not even when I interrupted with “So, how about those Chiefs?” did the battle die down.

Proverbs 18:2 described these individuals better than I can: Fools take no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing their opinion. This clearly was a political battle to win, not a conversation to understand.  I don’t know about you, but I have never heard a Democrat convert a Republican or a Republican convert a Democrat.  Never!  Yet, friendships dissolve and families implode over this issue.  Ugly seeds are planted when this happens.

Understand that neither of these people asked a question to help clarify or uncover an area of possible agreement.  Both arguers were listening only to counter with their next argument.  One-upmanship at its finest!  James 1:19 had much to teach these two: Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.

At one point, I interjected that my most frustrating part of the political debates was that no one seemed capable of admitting that his/her opponent had something positive to contribute.  As a teacher, we called it the “Oreo approach.”  Say something nice, then lower the boom, and then end with something pleasant. Neither of these lunch partners found one positive trait about their political opposition.  Even “He chews with his mouth closed” or “He mentioned God the other day” would have received a head-nod.

To converse respectfully, we need to seek common ground.  That means we might discuss the weather (avoid climate change, of course) or what we liked about the Superbowl commercials (yes, a serious stretch) or the high cost of groceries.  We can praise each other’s family or a trait about the other person we admire.  Building a firm foundation enables mutual respect so that we not only listen well but are heard.

Another thing we need to do is to research our position so that it is not just our hair-brained opinion of what we think is true.  This can include facts, statistics, research studies, expert opinions, or historical examples. By substantiating our arguments with verifiable evidence, we lend credibility to our position.

There are, of course, things we need to avoid.  Raising our voice. Being sarcastic or mocking what the other person shared. Rolling our eyes or laughing inappropriately.  None of these will cause the other person to become our friend or listen to us.  Proverbs 16:21 tells us what we need to do: The wise in heart will be called understanding, and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.  Sometimes the best thing we can do is to let the other person know that we will pray about what we have heard and spend some time researching what he/she has said.

Above all else, we must remember that we are representing Christ, and he would much prefer we leave the discussion with our relationship intact than attacking and walking away. One conversation may not result in much change, but it is our responsibility to plant seeds and let God bring the harvest.

Keys to the Kingdom

by Carolyn Tucker

Nothing but…

When I was a kid, my parents frequently hung out with other adult couples. I basically didn’t add my two-cents worth to any of their conversations, I just listened. I heard a lot of topics being discussed and, most of the time, it revolved around comical stories. When visiting at Elda and Marge’s home, she kept a sketchbook for me so I could keep myself occupied. While drawing, I listened. I remember Elda telling a true incident that happened while driving his family somewhere. While stopped at an intersection, he asked if there was anything coming from the opposite direction. His eldest daughter calmly responded, “Nothing…but a bread truck.” I’d give money to hear, again, the laughter that erupted from this these two couples sitting around the kitchen table.

A huge crowd had followed Jesus and the disciples; it was getting late and all the people were hungry. The disciples recommended that Jesus send the crowds away so they could buy food for themselves. “Jesus said to them, ‘They need not go away; you give them something to eat.’ They (the disciples) replied, ‘We have nothing here but five loaves and two fish.’ And He said, ‘Bring them here to Me.’ Then He ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish, He looked up to heaven, and blessed and broke the loaves, and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds” (Matthew 14:16-19 NRS). The disciples didn’t think they had enough to amount to anything. But Jesus took what they offered and added His blessing to it and, voila, it was more than enough!

I’ve visited with enough Christ followers to know there are some that say they don’t know what their talents are. They mistakenly don’t think they have anything beneficial to offer. The little boy among the crowd of way over 5,000 people certainly didn’t think his five loaves of bread and two fish would make a difference. Nevertheless, he was willing to give it to the disciples anyway. Without Jesus’ blessing, these meager pieces of food were pretty worthless. Everyone thought it was nothing…but Jesus. He said, “Bring it to Me!” When believers come with nothing but our God-given talents — that’s enough! He knows how to turn it into something valuable.

Nothing is too small or insignificant for Jesus to bless and use. Others will benefit from your talents and you will receive joy in doing good. If you love to cook, share meals with others. If you love to bake, give away cookies. If you love to work on vehicles, organize, repair stuff, sew, etc., just lay it at the feet of Jesus to be used however He pleases. You may think that the talents you have and enjoy don’t amount to anything, but they are something beautiful and good because God created you in the womb to do these things! And for crying out loud, don’t compare your talents with other people’s. You’re an original on purpose!

Apostle Paul penned, “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone — especially to those in the family of faith” (Galatians 6:9-10 NLT). Please use your talents to help others on their journey of life.  The God-given talents that you were born with are not insignificant when multiplied with Jesus’ blessing on them. Little is much when Jesus gets done with it!

The Key: Jesus knows what to do with our talents. Just let Him have ‘em!

The story is told of a little boy who lived in a ghetto. Because of his strong belief in God, his friends constantly teased him, saying, “If God loves you, why doesn’t he take care of you? Why doesn’t God tell someone to bring you shoes or send someone with a warm coat?  Where is the good food you’ve been asking God for?” The little boy thought for a moment and with tears in his eyes, softly said, “I guess He does tell somebody but somebody forgets.”

I am afraid that too many of us are that “somebody.”

We see the man on the side of the road, holding his cardboard sign that lets us know that he is homeless, broke, a veteran, asking for money.  The scribbled writing ends with “God bless you.”  We drive away.  After all, he could get a job; everybody is hiring.  He probably will buy alcohol with the money we give him, anyway.

Our neighbor recently taped aluminum foil to her windows in an effort to save on her heating bill.  Embarrassed?  You betcha.  What’s this neighborhood coming to?     

We watch obese people struggle to manage their Walmart shopping cart and put groceries into their car trunks, and we scurry on by.  After all, it’s not our fault they don’t try to get in shape, and we’re in a hurry to get home from work.  They should try to walk a mile in our designer shoes!           

The call goes out for volunteers to hang wreaths on the tombstones of the soldiers buried at our National Cemetery or place flags in the ground at our National Fort, but that’s the day we are having a family get together or a lunch date with a friend.  Just too busy!

How about this one?  I know that I should take a meal to ________ who is going through a difficult time right now, but I’m sooooooo tired.

And yes, some of us have tried to help and have gotten burned.  No fun.  We offer our couch for a two-night stay that turns into a two-week visit.  Our guests do nothing to help but treat our offer as something they are owed.  Or we “loan” money, never to see an attempt to repay. We vow never to help again.

What’s really sad is when we tell someone we will pray for them, and then we don’t.  (My hand is raised here.)  My intentions are good.  My actions?  Not so much.  And then they let us know that all is well and thank us for our prayers, and we don’t admit that we forgot or just were too preoccupied to follow through.

Not everything needs to be a grand gesture.  Sometimes, we just need to keep our antennas up and be aware of needs around us.  A smile.  A compliment.  Opening a door.  The other day in Costco, I stood in the line that, of course, was the slowest one available.  The man in front of me had three orders, and something went wrong with the way the employee rang them up.  He needed a manager.  The assistant manager came, but that wasn’t good enough.

As the other lines moved along smoothly, I turned to a young woman behind me.  “This is my fault, you know,” I said to her.  “You never should get behind me in a line; this happens regularly.”  She grinned and said, “I sure hope you’re not going to Trader Joe’s next.”  We both cracked up.  When I finally got through the line, the register attendant looked exasperated.  I paid and said, “Have a blessed day.”  She stopped, looked at me and said that I made her day.

In the parking lot, I watched an elderly lady wandering, clearly looking for her car.  Been there, done that!  I pulled up beside her and asked what her car looked like and then drove around, looking for it, to no avail.  Finally, I persuaded her to get into my car (she was terrified of me!) so we could search together. As it turned out, it wasn’t where she thought she left it.

Philippians 2:4 can change lives: Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. We need to be determined to be determined not to forget.               

Keys to the Kingdom

by Carolyn Tucker

Highway Turtle Mercy

I’ll just preface this story by stating that when driving I always try to avoid running over any kind of animal. If I can safely swerve (usually I can) to miss a squirrel, opossum, skunk, armadillo, turtle, dog, cat, etc., I will. I once witnessed an extreme example of animal mercy. I watched an oncoming car make a U-turn on a busy highway then pull over and stop on the shoulder. While trying to figure out what the driver was doing, I spotted a turtle crossing the highway. After I dodged it, I immediately looked in my rearview mirror and saw the woman driver running onto the highway to retrieve the turtle. I don’t know, maybe she was obsessed with collecting runaway turtles.

Mercy is described as compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one’s power to punish. American pastor, author, and spiritual mentor A.W. Tozer  said, “Mercy is an attribute of God, an infinite and inexhaustible energy within the Divine nature which disposes God to be actively compassionate.”

God is the epitome of love. “Anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them” (1 John 4:8,16 NLT). Believers surely understand that God is love, but do we think enough about His mercy? Without God’s mercy, we’d just be a squashed turtle on the highway of life!

To say that I’m thankful for mercy is a huge understatement. It’s cringing to think about living without God’s daily blessing of compassion and forgiveness toward me. I don’t deserve His mercy — but it’s who God is. And believers are to follow His example.

“The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in mercy” (Psalm 103:8 NKJV). “It is because of the Lord’s mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His tender compassions fail not” (Lamentations 3:22-23 AMP).   

I need God’s mercy every day and I should put myself in the other person’s shoes in order to have compassion for them. “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy” (Matthew 5:7 NASB). Elvis recorded an excellent Sunday-morning-message song entitled “Walk a Mile in My Shoes.” Written by Joe South, some of the lyrics are: “If I could be you, if you could be me for just one hour; If we could find a way to get inside each other’s mind. If you could see you through my eyes instead of your ego; I believe you’d be surprised to see that you’ve been blind. Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes; Before you abuse, criticize and accuse, walk a mile in my shoes.” “There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when He judges you” (James 2:13 NLT).

Are believers abounding in mercy toward others? That’s a rhetorical question that only you can answer about yourself. Here’s another verse to the song: “Now if we spend the day throwing stones at one another ‘cause I don’t think or wear my hair same way you do. Well I may be common people but I’m your brother; And when you strike out to try and hurt me it’s a hurtin’ you.”

The Key: What shall we do with God’s mercy? Pay it forward.

I had done it this time, “it” meaning I, once again, failed to act classy and professional, even though I was trying—really trying—to. The faculty and administration for all three of Girard’s schools were to come together in the cafeteria where lunch was provided for the first day of indoctrination. Students had not yet shown up for classes.

I admit, I was nervous about coming out of retirement to teach again. Proving I was capable of handling the new technology (i.e., that I was not a complete moron) was stressful. Greeting me as I entered the cafeteria was the buffet of hotdogs and hamburgers, salads and condiments. Most of the faculty were already seated, even though we were not starting for five minutes. Plenty of time to grab my lunch and find a seat.

After placing a hot dog, bun and a bag of chips on my paper plate, I walked towards the condiment line…which is where I looked over the crowd and noticed that no person had food in front of them. They were seated at large, circular tables, that were void of food. And there I was, taking care of first-things-first (eating).

Apparently, we were to eat after the meeting, not during the meeting.

As stealthily as possible, I reversed course, slowly walking backwards, and placed my chips back in the basket. But what should I do with my wiener? This was a problem. Without even thinking, I grabbed the tongs and removed the hotdog from its bun, returned it to the steaming tray, and did the same with its bun. The paper plate, napkin and fork came next, and as calm as I could fake it, I meandered over to the nearest table with an empty seat and introduced myself.

I was trying to be as cool as a used hotdog. Nonchalant. The relaxed, peaceful kind of nonchalant. Not the apathetic, indifferent, uncaring and smug nonchalant…actually, not that much different than we Christians can act. The first group can be faked. The second group doesn’t need to be. They have been lulled into a spiritual slumber and, sadly, contribute to the “I don’t care” attitude that permeates many Christian circles, telling themselves that attending Sunday service, sometimes praying before meals and answering “yes” when asked if they love Jesus is enough.

Modern churches strive to solve the problem. They now serve donuts, host coffee bars, use state-of-the-art, multi-media technology and rock out with live bands. None of that is bad…until it replaces the message of a Risen Savior who sacrificed his life for us. Who calls us to glorify him at work, school, home and in our community. Who asks that nothing comes before him.

We must ask ourselves if we go to church to be entertained or to worship, to draw closer to God or to check off our holy, weekly duty. Are we there to find depth in our spiritual walk or to catch up on our overlooked texts during the sermon? Do we desire to be an example to those watching us, or do we scurry out of church, making sure we don’t miss our beloved Chiefs or get to the local restaurant before the crowd? Do we take the time to greet those in the pews around us, or are we waiting for them to greet us first? Have we learned to feign peace and calmness when our lives are anything but? Like I did in that cafeteria?

Maybe it’s time we all take a backward spiritual step, ask ourselves how much we are pretending to be something we aren’t… and then do something about it.

Keys to the Kingdom by Carolyn Tucker

Cataracts and Logs

At a recent family gathering to celebrate two birthdays and one wedding anniversary, I was talking about how dim my car’s interior lights were. Well, immediately my daughter and son started joking about cataracts. And I responded, “Yes! I do have cataracts (unbeknownst to them) in both eyes! But compared to the lights in my previous vehicle, these are simply not as bright!” Well, then both of them guffawed about me “having a log in my eye” preventing me from seeing well. My kids are pros at turning an ordinary conversation into a nutty comedy routine…and I’m usually the butt of the joke. And I’m usually the one laughing the loudest.

But no one was laughing when Jesus spoke about our “eye” in the New Testament. He  was clearly illustrating that Christ followers must conduct a thorough self-examination before criticizing and judging others. Jesus didn’t pussyfoot around when He spoke to those gathered about Him: “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ’Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye” (Matthew 7:3-5 NLT). Jesus didn’t want His followers displaying the same fault of criticism like the Pharisees.

A lack of love and mercy always distorts our vision of others. Judging someone else has been described as casually looking at ourselves through rose-colored glasses but   scrutinizing our fellowman with a magnifying glass. Why would believers be so determined to focus on one flaw in someone else’s life when we have multiple glaring flaws of our own? It’s so easy to try to set someone straight when we’re not evaluating ourselves honestly and truthfully according to God’s Word.

Other Bible translation comparisons are: sawdust and beam; very small particle and beam of timber; splinter and telephone pole; little piece of dust and big piece of wood. Jesus was teaching in hyperbole to get us to understand and remember the seriousness of judging and being critical. I certainly understand this method of exaggeration. When my late husband and I were newlyweds, I couldn’t seem to remember that he preferred mayonnaise over whipped salad dressing on his sandwich. Finally, after forgetting several times, he very calmly used hyperbole to get his point across: “I would rather have dog poop on my sandwich than whipped salad dressing.“ Welp, I finally got it and I never forgot it either!

Jesus wants His followers to honor God by simply living in humility and honesty. This enables us to be in a position to really love, care, and help serve others. The problem with judging others is that we always set ourselves above those we judge. Oswald Chambers warned his readers: “Beware of anything that puts you in the superior person’s place.“ Jesus’ words strongly suggest that it would be well for the critic to remove the huge obstruction from his/her eye first before attempting to retrieve the itsy-bitsy particle from someone else’s eye. In other words, clean up your own backyard before you criticize your neighbor’s. What Jesus is basically saying on the Sermon on the Mount is, “You can’t help the other fellow until you get rid of that critical attitude you have” ~ Ralph Earle.

The Key: Don’t let cataracts or logs impede your vision when trying to help others.

Do the names “Fortunatus” and “Achaicus” and “Stephanas” ring a bell? How about Epanetus, Andronicus, Junias, Ampliatus, Urbanus, Stachys, Apelles, Aristobulus, Herodion, Narcissus, Tryphaena, Tryphosa, Persis, Asyncritus, Phlegon and Hermes? Probably not names you considered naming your child.

Hint: they have to do with Paul in the Bible. You’ve got it? Great.

These are people in Paul’s life who assisted him in his ministry and were thanked by Paul for their contributions. They were little-known men and women who came alongside him to help where there was a need but known enough for Paul to give them recognition in his letters to Jewish converts.

For most of us, we probably have hundreds of “unknowns” with whom we have crossed paths who have made our lives better, those who without fanfare were there for us when we needed them most. I am blessed to have those people in my life. My brother David was one of them.

I remember the time my car was in the shop, my husband away on a baseball trip, and the only person I knew I could call was David. “No problem” was his answer, a familiar expression he used the many times I needed him. He pulled up in his junker truck, told me I needed to sit right next to him because there was a hole in the floor under the mat on the passenger side, and when I told him I thought that was weird, he said, “Suit yourself, but if I slam on the brakes and we come to a screeching halt, you might find yourself under the truck.”

I sat next to my brother. Better safe than weird, I guess.

To see what was behind him when he was driving, David reached under his driver’s seat and pulled out the side mirror that had broken off his truck. He proudly held it out the window, moving it to get the right angle. He thought nothing of it. I cracked up but knew, Beggars can’t be choosers.

David stopped for every hitchhiker and traveler in trouble. One day, he picked up a bicyclist, drove him to his farmhouse and let him sleep on the couch while David fixed his tire. He loved coaching and would call his players “French fries” if they messed up. Every player mattered to him, sometimes enough to discipline harshly so they would learn a valuable lesson. Countless nights, the lights would come on at the baseball field across from where we lived. There was David, working with a player who couldn’t sleep and asked for extra batting practice.

Not surprisingly, he died from a chain saw accident, sawing wood for widows who depended on him for their home’s heat. I never knew how much he did for others until his funeral when people shared endless stories about his sacrifice to improve their lives.

I have a feeling that we are going to be shocked at the people we see in Heaven, those “no-names” who spent more time on their knees than on their feet, those unsung heroes who never were about accolades or praise but, like Paul’s pals, were there at the right time to make others’ lives better. I pray I am one of those people. I hope you do too.