Keys to the Kingdom By Carolyn Tucker

Fried Bird

I had just walked in the kitchen and placed my grocery bags on the counter when I lost all power to the house. I immediately called the electric company and Tom showed up within minutes. It didn’t take long to fix the problem, so I asked him what had caused the power failure. He said that a Starling had stuck it’s beak where it didn’t belong and blew the fuse at the top of the electric pole. After he left, I searched for the fried bird and, sure enough, his feet were curled up and he was dead as a doornail. I thought of putting up a sign that read: “At the bottom of this pole lies a big, big bird.” (You’d have to be my age or older to remember the #1 country hit, “Big Bad John” by Jimmy Dean.)

Starlings have a bad reputation because they peck and ruin fruit in the orchards, get sucked into aircraft engines, and their poop is corrosive to buildings. These birds are annoying nuisances because they get into other people’s business and cause a great deal of harm. We humans have a tendency to stick our noses into other people’s business too. Usually we’re just trying to help, but oftentimes it backfires and a good relationship becomes strained. Just because we have an opinion doesn’t mean we should share it — some things are just better left unsaid.

God’s Word gives Christ followers some excellent guidelines about minding our own business. “Stay calm, mind your own business; do your own job. You’ve heard all this from us [Paul, Silas, and Timothy] before, but a reminder never hurts” (1 Thessalonians 4:11 MSG). If we stay out of other people’s affairs we’ll have less stress in our lives. I admit there’s a fine line between loving an individual enough to speak wisdom into his/her life and butting in when we shouldn‘t. We must be led by the Holy Spirit in this matter, and also remember that prayer changes people when words of concern or advice can’t.

“Suppose you suffer. Then it shouldn’t be because you are a murderer or a thief. It shouldn’t be because you do evil things. It shouldn’t be because you poke your nose into other people’s business” (1 Peter 4:15 NIRV). When we respect other’s boundaries and privacy, we can steer clear of unnecessary drama. Let’s remember that we invested 18 to 22 years to love and teach our now-adult children. Cutting the apron strings and tossing the training wheels enables them to be independent and find their God-given place in life.

“Also, they [young widows] learn to be lazy by going from house to house. They are not only lazy, but they also become gossips and busybodies, talking about things they shouldn’t” (1 Timothy 5:13 CEB). It’s simply a common courtesy not to blab other people’s business. Everyone needs to stay busy running their own life, not someone else’s.   I grew up watching the TV show, “Hee Haw” and I remember four goofy women singing this silly song: “Now, we’re not ones to go ‘round spreadin’ rumors. Why really, we’re just not the gossipy kind. Oh you’ll never hear one of us repeating gossip. So you better be sure and listen close the first time!”

“…we hear that some of you are living idle lives, refusing to work and meddling in other people’s business” (2 Thessalonians 3:11 NLT). If we work and take care of our personal responsibilities, we won’t have time to be curious about our friends’ business. Curious George was always getting into trouble because he was…too curious.

The Key: Keep your beak out of other people’s business so that nobody blows a fuse.

Friends for 50 years delivered the eulogy of my son-in-law’s dad, Paul.  At last month’s celebration-of-life, we learned much about this man.  From the time he was young, Paul sought adventure.  When he was seven years old, he discovered a Christmas present under his parents’ bed.  While they were at work, he opened it, found a bike, assembled it and rode around the block a few times.  When finished, he took the bike apart and placed it back in its box, placing it exactly as he found it.

According to Steve, Paul’s friend, on Christmas morning, his parents were amazed at how quickly he assembled the bike. It was years before they knew their son’s secret. When Paul was 12, he decided to learn to drive, so when his parents were at work, he drove around town in one of their cars.  His dad became suspicious and placed a white mark on the tire so that, if Paul “borrowed” the car, the mark on the tire would end up in a different position and Paul would be busted.  Realizing his father’s tactic, Paul would drive home, jacked up the car and rotate the tire to the exact position in which he had found the white mark.

The stories were endless.  Trophies were awarded for races he won as a young adult (going over 200 mph) in the Bonneville Flats after teaching himself how to increase the power of his engine, and he and Steve rode their jet skis into the Hoover Dam tunnels where they found themselves at the base of the gigantic engines that ran the dam, clearly a dangerous no-no.

Following the funeral, many of us shared the same story: we had no idea Paul had done what we had just heard.  How was that possible?  We had known him for decades, yet we knew little about his life. We lost an incredible opportunity to hear, first-hand, about his crazy adventures and why he made the decisions he did.  His gutsiness was why he took risks and started his own, very successful company.

Relationships take work.  They require listening skills where questions are asked so that others have a chance to share their life.  I love hearing people’s stories, so what kept me from asking Paul about his?  My loss.

When asked the most important commandment, Jesus talked about one’s vertical relationship with God the Father; the horizontal relationship with our fellow man came in a close second.  Clearly, relationships are at the core of Christian living. Sadly, we now have entered a messed-up world where texting has taken over as the main method of correspondence.  You know, “How R U?”  Short and sweet.  Very few, face-to-face encounters.

Sure, we may text-ask someone’s opinion on a scripture or on politics or even about a cute meme we just sent, but true relationships are developed in person.  Around the dinner table.  On the front porch.  On a walk.  They take time.  They take commitment.  They take putting ourselves out.                                                                  \

Frequently, when I run into people, we end our short conversation with, “We have to get together soon.”  But I get busy and fail to follow through. I am short-changing the incredible possibilities for how God has wired people to bless each other when I do not make this happen.

There is one relationship we cannot afford to short-change, and that is ours with God.  Our daily strolls with God, where we set aside minutes each day to talk with Him, to listen to His guidance, to thank Him for our blessings, lets Him know He matters most of all.  I mean, He does…doesn’t He?