“No one who loves as much gets as little.”

I recently found that scribbled on the bottom of an old newspaper clipping. The words, of course, refer to Jesus, and if Jesus doesn’t get the kind of love he deserves, why do I think that I am entitled to the kind of love that makes me happy?

Last night, some of us married folks were discussing Gary Chapman’s book “The 5 Love Languages” which challenges readers to find out what their mate’s “love language” is.

Dave and I found out early on that we were missing this understanding in our marriage when he asked me if I loved him and I answered that he should know I love him because I make him tacos every single day…even when I am in the mood for a tuna noodle casserole.  I still make tacos.  That should prove I love him.

“I don’t care about food,” he said.  “I eat to live.  What I want is affection.”

Say what?????  Who wants affection over food?  Does that include turtle cheesecake?

Clearly, I had much to learn about my man.

This year, Dave and I celebrated our 51^st wedding anniversary.  If I have learned one thing (other than I needed to be more loving), it is to be thankful for my man.  Occasionally, I write funny stories about Dave and me. (Trust me, most do not get written.) What surprises some of my readers is that Dave typically helps me write them.  I love that (and many other things) about him. Still, ours has not been a perfect marriage, and although we have found humor in many of our disagreements, there have been some tough times.

Many marital situations are not funny.  Arguments. Divorce.  Financial loss.  Death.  Being thankful in the midst of such circumstances—while seeking to find good in difficult people—challenges even the most faithful Christian.

Yesterday, I heard someone say that God never gives us more than we can handle, a quote Christians frequently spout when trying to encourage someone going through a difficult time. Scripture does not say that.

 

In Dave’s and my case, sometimes our marriage has pushed both of our buttons, the red ones that yell “Stop!” Quitting would be easy, except the Bible says that we are given trials that we might prove faithful, that we might learn perseverance and ultimately, joy. What we do with those trials—as we trust that God is in charge and we aren’t—helps us grow closer to our spouse and to God…and that needs to be our ultimate goal.

As we celebrate Thanksgiving next Thursday, let us not forget to be thankful for our families, to pray for them daily and to recognize that God can use our differences to draw us closer to Him.  For me, the thought of a Thanksgiving turkey over tacos makes me grateful, even if it is just once a year.