K-State Research and Extension Southwind District – Family and Consumer Science Agent

Helping Children Self-Regulate

Self-regulation is defined as the ability to manage thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. These skills develop in young children as they interact with their family, caregivers, and environments.

Children who are able to keep themselves calm during a frustrating situation, instead of having a tantrum, are using their self-regulation skills. These skills can be learned throughout the lifespan but can be extra beneficial for young children. By controlling their emotions, children can focus more on achieving their goals while keeping an open mind that stimulates learning.

Brain development plays a big role in self-regulation. Infants rely on the “survival center” near the bottom of the brainstem to maintain things like breathing and digestion. Toddlers and preschoolers start to use their “emotional center” known as the amygdala to communicate and express themselves through feelings. Young children and adolescents begin to use their “thinking center” or the cerebrum to problem solve, think before acting, and organize their behavior. Without the development of self-regulation skills, children will be stuck relying on the survival and emotional centers in their brains. This makes it hard for children to control their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

To develop these skills, the brain needs safe and meaningful interactions with family members, peers, and the world around them. This helps the brain make new connections that help with thought process and learning. To help your child(ren) develop these skills, start by focusing on building a strong connection with them. Respond warmly and consistently to their emotional and physical needs and encourage exploration and learning. Family routines and rituals are also beneficial to foster learning. This can look like family meals together, playtime, or bedtime routines. Focusing on positive rules can also encourage critical thinking. Focus on what things they should do instead of what they shouldn’t.

Practice makes perfect for children and adults alike. If your child has a hard time controlling themselves in certain environments, continue to practice what that should look like and focus on what they are feeling. If you encourage them to share openly some of the things that frustrate them, you will be able to talk through those things and help them overcome them. Practicing through play can be a positive way for your child to practice new skills. Encouraging breathing and mindfulness exercises can also help children calm down and be aware of what they are feeling. These activities help them return control to their “thinking center” of the brain, which will help them make good choices.

Self-regulation is a skill that can be developed with time, help, and support. Therapy, counseling, and parent support groups may be helpful resources for you to seek out as you support your child(ren)’s healthy development. For more information, contact Cassidy Lutz at [email protected] or by calling 620-625-8620.

Children thrive when outdoors. It provides them the opportunity to observe, explore, and interact with their surroundings.

Like other forms of nature therapy, gardening decreases stress by increasing our connection to the natural world around us. It prompts kids to tune in to the changing seasons and weather conditions, teaches mindfulness and promotes physical activity and healthy eating. Add to that the development of confidence, a strong work ethic, and the ability to accept that some things are beyond our control, and it’s no surprise that growing things can result in a growth mindset!

Children can be involved in all stages of gardening from designing the garden space to tending the plants. What’s great about gardening is the ability to adapt how children help depending on their age and ability. A few gardening activities could include: germinating seeds, preparing soil, labeling plants, watering produce, pulling weeds, gathering produce, and tasting the produce.

While engaging in gardening activities, it is important to set limits with children. Talk with them about the difference between a weed or new plant growth. Discuss the importance of watering and caring for plants. For example, offer a watering can for young children to assist with watering duties.  Children need guidance to learn about their surroundings while having fun.

Don’t forget, gardening is a sensory experience. Call attention to the tactile feeling of the soil, the warmth of the sun, the sounds of the birds, the smell of the flowers, and the taste of fresh-picked produce. Each of these senses will be engaged while outdoors in the garden. Take advantage of these teachable moments to explore the world around them.

The hard work children put into the garden can be showcased at the local county fair as well. There are opportunities in both the open class and 4-H divisions to submit an exhibit. K-State Research and Extension has great resources to assist with learning more about gardening and selecting items for judging.

For more information, reach out to Jennifer Terrell, 4-H Youth Development Agent for K-State Research and Extension – Southwind District by email at [email protected] or by phone 620-223-3720.

Amanda Clasen- Community Vitality Agent    

March 2024

The Southwind Extension District just finished hosting our first Youth Entrepreneurship Challenge in Allen County with the partnership with Humboldt High School, Allen County E-Communities and NetWork Kansas. A part of this event is students learning the importance of developing a business plan, learning how to make a profit off of their business and product as well as marketing their product to be successful. After completing this event, the participants were awarded cash prizes for their work and efforts and it got me thinking, I wonder how many of these youth will continue the entrepreneurship path in life and what money management skills have they developed through this project?

Money Management must be learned and practiced in everyday home and family life to prepare children for real life situations. Think of how day-to-day activities and errands that you are already completing in your already busy life, to incorporate “lessons” on money management skills for youth.  Making or earning money for a job is the way most adults get money to spend, but think about what youth need to know to be successful in their money management. The following are examples of ways to incorporate learning into daily life lessons.

Things a 5 year old should know:

1. A dime is worth more than a nickel even though it is smaller. Also that coins can be exchanged for “fun” things.
2. Toys that are seen on the cereal box or on TV won’t always be flashy and look or work as well at home as they are advertised.
3. Saving money can be fun when they know they can use it to buy something later.
4. Asking for something they want, doesn’t mean they will always get what they want.

Things a 10 year old should know is obviously different from a younger and older Siblings. Below are examples of those teaching lessons.

1. They should be able to navigate a grocery store with a cart and list to help shop for a budget friendly grocery trip.
2. They should have a savings account in a real bank. They should learn that although you can withdrawal from that account, it won’t be the same cash and coins that they put in.

A 16 year old is often the age looking to be hired by local business and able to work outside of the family and friends circle to gain a paycheck. A few things they should know when coming to earning money:

1. They should have a reasonable idea of the family finances.
2. They should know how to write a check and balance a checking account.
3. They should save half of everything they hear from a job for any major high school expenses such as a class ring or trip.

Adults may work 40 hours or sometimes more each week to bring home a paycheck to live on. Youth should be able to  find small jobs from their parents or neighbors to earn money for those burning “needs” and “wants”. Those jobs can take as little as 10 minutes for as much as hours to complete. Paid jobs at home are usually things beyond those a child is expected to do as part of the family. Make sure to be on the look out for a job that neighbors, grandparents, friends are willing to pay for. Think of other ways your child can earn money from their hobbies, for example, sell jewelry, show adults how to use a computer application or setting up a new cellphone.

For more information please contact Amanda Clasen, Community Vitality Agent, at [email protected] or at any Southwind Extension office.