My girlfriend “Jean” and her husband allowed their grandson, “Gabe,” to move in with them (for the third time) when he began failing in school and at his job. Their daughter and divorced son-in-law had partied rather than parented and were negligent in their care of this son from the time he was a youngster. Jean did everything physically, emotionally and spiritually to help Gabe, but the emotional roller coaster ride was overwhelming.

When Gabe decided to become a professional guitarist, his grandmother bought him a guitar and paid for lessons. She noticed an improvement in her grandson’s attitude and confidence and thanked God for the change. But when his “band” dis-banded, Gabe lost interest and opted to go to tech school to learn to work on computers. His family celebrated that he had a focus and purpose. His grandmother bought him an old car so that he had transportation to and from school. He worked as a dishwasher to pay for gas and personal expenses.

When test time came and credentials were awarded, Gabe could not pass the exam. His grandmother hired a tutor, but Gabe had test-fright and failed again…and again. He became lethargic, got fired from his job, and the roller coaster ride continued.

Time was up. My girlfriend knew that she and her husband no longer could babysit their twenty-year old. He had to go. Empathetically, Jean sat Gabe down and shared how much she loved him and prayed for him, but that it was not fair to him to be enabled to the point that he had no chance at success by living off his grandparents. She just could not do that to him.

Jean called me to share what happened next. Gabe was stunned. “Oh, Grandma, I am just fine. You don’t have to worry a thing about me. I could stay here forever and be perfectly okay. But thank you for thinking of me. That’s why I love you so much.”

My friend and I laughed hysterically. Her “loving” approach had back-fired.

If you’ve lived past the age of…oh, say, five, chances are your best intentions have—at one point or another–gone awry. Your ministry failed. Your children, whom you raised to love Jesus, now follow the ways of Buddha. Speaking up to your boss awarded you a pink slip instead of a promotion.

Moses knew what that was like. Bravely, he had entered Pharaoh’s presence and insisted on the Israelites being released from their positions in slavery. Moses had been raised in Pharaoh’s palace but saw the injustice done to the Jews (his people) and spoke up.

Pharaoh was ticked. Freedom? Ha. Instead, the Israelites’ work load would double. Too, they would gather their own straw to make their bricks, so it was impossible for their quota to be filled. Should it not be, they were beaten. They asked for a meeting with Pharaoh who blamed Moses. Since he had insisted that the people go, it was all his fault.

Poor guy. His admirable goals had backfired…big time.

Thomas Myers writes about this in his sermon “What Do You Do When Things Go from Bad to Worse?” “They (the Israelites) now believe it is all Moses’s fault! Moses is going to go from hero to zero. He is going to go from the penthouse to the outhouse.”

If you’re like me, you can empathize with Moses. We are tithing, praying, reading our Bibles, attending ZOOM Bible studies… and our child turns to drugs. Our car transmission fails. Our savings account is eaten up with the pandemic. Our aging parents move in with us. And, like Moses, our tendency is to blame God. An easy target. (Yes, that is what Moses did.)

In next week’s article, we will delve further into a more appropriate response.

Keys to the Kingdom

Carolyn Tucker

If I had a nickel for every time I heard my Mom tell me, “Pretty is as pretty does,” I could buy a Big Mac or some Belgian truffles. Even though she’s been gone several years, her words of wisdom still resound in my soul. Recently, I was visiting with a Missouri cousin and this particular quote came out of my mouth. This relative had heard that expression before, but had never really thought about the meaning. So I explained it in a straight-shooting manner and he said, “That makes sense.” My sweet cousin Danny is a perfect example of this saying when I exchange “pretty“ for “handsome.”

How you act and what you do is what makes you truly pretty, not your appearance. A gal can be pretty, but she is only (as good, kind, etc.) as she does. An individual with exemplary character, ethics, and integrity is more important than good looks. Just because a person is physically pleasing on the outside doesn’t guarantee he/she is pretty on the inside. If our actions, attitudes, and behaviors are ugly, it doesn’t matter how gorgeous we are on the outside! Our words and deeds continuously speak for themselves because what‘s on the inside will certainly find its way to the outside — for good or bad.

Jesus was batting a thousand with His point-blank sermon. He criticized the religious leaders by telling them that religious appearance is not enough. “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy — full of greed and self-indulgence“ (Matthew 23:25,26 NLT). The religious leaders were only concerned with outward appearances and neglected inward purity and loving others. Jesus instructed them to clean the inside of the cup and dish first, and then the outside will follow suit.

Jesus boldly told the crowds and His disciples not to follow the example of the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees. Why? Because they didn’t practice what they preached. In fact, Jesus said that everything they did was for show. “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs — beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people’s bones and all sorts of impurity. Outwardly you look like righteous people, but inwardly your hearts are filled with hypocrisy and lawlessness (Matthew 23:27,28 NLT).

In the book of 1 Samuel Chapter 25, Abigail is a beautiful woman with brains married to nincompoop Nabal. When David’s men kindly asked Nabal for provisions, he foolishly refused, insulting the most powerful man in the region. When Abigail wisely intervened and brought a caravan of food and gifts to David and his 600 men, she fell to the ground at his feet. She made one of the longest speeches by a woman recorded in the Bible. God used her humble words and prudent actions to save many lives. After her scoundrel husband died, she later became David’s wife. Abigail was pretty on the outside, but she is remembered as one of the great peacemakers because she was pretty on the inside.

“The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7 NLT).

The Key: Live your life inside-out to get to the heart of the matter.

Margot, a six-year-old Down syndrome girl from Pennsylvania, pointed an index finger at her teacher, violating the school gun policy. The police were called.

Guilty? Let’s talk about the obvious.

1. She is six years old, not sixteen.
2. She has Down syndrome.
3. She pointed a finger, not an AK-47.

Puh-lease tell me the teacher knew the difference between a pistol and a finger, or should that now be included as part of an education degree curriculum? Puh-lease tell me those school officials recognized that the police have more important crimes to investigate than this one. Puh-lease tell me that the principal realized that Margot might not understand that her finger is considered a dangerous weapon, recognizing that, Heaven forbid, she just might point it again. What then? Prison? Solitary confinement? Water-boarding?

People, People, People, when did we lose our common sense? Margot is not the only example of abject over-reaction. Columnist George Will shared some examples of people who need to stop the nit-picking (Am I allowed to use that term?) and get a life…a life of significance. Here is what he wrote:

“Some Texas real estate agents will no longer refer in their listings to ‘master’ bedrooms, lest people be reminded of slavery. The University of Oregon/Oregon State University football rivalry will no longer be called the ‘Civil War.’ Lest people be reminded of what it took to end slavery? …London activists want to rename a school because, Rod Liddle writes in The Spectator, ‘it is named after a road which was named after a dairy farmer who had the same name as someone the activists dislike.’”

If you’re like me, you want to bang your head into a wall. With all the problems our countries are facing, people spend their time on this nonsense? Bang! Bang! Bang!

To promote gender neutrality, there is a movement afoot to degender words in the English language. Seriously. The new 117th U.S. Congress started by recommending new rules for the legislative process, removing all gender-specific words like “man”, “woman”, “mother”, “father”, “son” and “daughter” to promote inclusion and diversity, and representative (Reverend) Emanuel Cleaver finished the opening session prayer by saying “Amen and a-women”.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Here’s something for Reverend Cleaver to consider: “Amen” has nothing to do with gender. It means “so be it.” Was God honored with Cleaver’s ending, or was it a way the Reverend could call attention to himself and his supposed cleverness?

Next thing we know, a manatee will need to become a womanatee. Or should that be a unisexatee? How about a Manwich sloppy joe? Sorry, I mean, a Womanwich. Is it now an advertisewoment? There is no end to this ludicrousness.

Rev. Cleaver ended his prayer “in the name of the monotheistic god Brahma.” Not God the Creator, but Brahma, a Hindu god. And no one called him on it. Our Congresspeople just sat there, like sheep led to slaughter.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Keys to the Kingdom

Carolyn Tucker

When I was in high school, my parents allowed me to drive the family car when I needed to go somewhere. This beautiful car had a great-running 327 under the hood, glass packs, and skirts to boot! One reason I loved this car was because it had a lot of power. My Dad was a top GM salesman and because of this, I took a special interest in cars. None of his vehicles were run-of-the-mill during my growing-up years. I’d love to wrap my hands around another ‘68 Caprice steering wheel and cruise around the Stockton Dam.

We’d been married about five years when Jimmy and I sold our ’74 Monte Carlo and bought a different car (which shall remain make-and-model nameless). I hated that car because it had no power. I had to have a straight highway as long as an F-105 Thunderchief runway to pass anybody. A driver eventually finds himself in a tight spot and needs to “romp it” to prevent an accident. Well, this car couldn’t be romped. You could not depend on it when you needed power, because it was a pathetic wimp!

Biblically speaking, there are spiritual wimps and spiritual hot rods. And I refuse to be part of the wimps running with their shirt-tails on fire. Jesus suffered great agony to provide everything believers would need to live victoriously. “God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind“ (2 Timothy 1:7 KJV). Choose to really believe what the Bible says and be radically obedient to God, and you will have the same power working in you that raised Jesus from the dead.

The definition of power is the ability to do something or act in a particular way. At weddings, the minister says, “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife.” A Power of Attorney has authority over the affairs of another individual. Tim Allen starred in the successful “Home Improvement” TV show for eight seasons, focusing on “more power!” Of course, the spiritual power that comes from God is of greater value than any earthly power.

“He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power” (Isaiah 40:29 NASB). God promises to give strength for our journey so we can walk steady on with increasing power. When reading these wonderful scriptures, make sure you’re believing and applying them for yourself. Victory is not the absence of problems, it’s the presence of God’s power working in and through His children.

The Apostle Paul writes to the faithful followers of Christ Jesus: “I pray for you constantly, asking God…to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe Him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated Him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms“ (Ephesians 1:16,17,19-21 NLT). How can we fail to have spiritual victory if we allow this power to fill our lives? If our problem is no bigger than raising Christ from the dead, then God can take care of it.

The Key: Spiritually speaking, God is offering you a Holley four-barrel carburetor. Take it, don’t leave it.

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.  The engineer fumed, “What’s with those guys? We’ve been waiting for fifteen minutes!”   The doctor chimed in, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen such inept golf!”   The priest, noticing a nearby green-keeper, greeted the worker. “Hello George, What’s wrong with that group ahead of us?  They’re rather slow, aren’t they?” The green-keeper replied, “Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime!” The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, “That’s so sad. I’ll say a special prayer for them tonight.”
The doctor added, “Good idea. I’ll contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything she can do for them.”
The engineer responded, “Why can’t they play at night?” 

I’ve met people like that, haven’t you? Empathy is not in their vocabulary. Correction: they appreciate empathy, but only when they are its recipient. Should they, however, be inconvenienced, a price will be paid. The same is true with forgiveness. My granddaughter, Montana, is here in Mazatlán, Mexico, in discipleship training. This past week, she shared that their group had focused on forgiveness. She made me smile with this observation: “Forgiveness is a gift.”

I’m not sure there is a better present than to forgive someone. Consider the eternal implications to not. (Jesus’ words, not mine): For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions. (Matt. 6:14-15) It’s one of the harshest warnings in Scripture.

I have known people who will not forgive, who hang on to their offense, who would rather spend eternity away from God than to humble themselves and deal with their pride. Fortunately, my Mazatlán friend, Debbie, is not one of them. We could have lost something precious, had she not forgiven me for what I wrote in an Email–implying that she was not trustworthy–that was accidentally forwarded to her a few years ago. I had written the words in frustration and became hysterical when I realized that she had read them. Immediately, I phoned her to apologize and ask her forgiveness. She had been deeply wounded by how I had both betrayed our friendship and disrespected her work.

Since I was teaching in Kansas at the time, I had to wait over two months–for spring break– until I could meet with her, face to face, to ask her forgiveness. She had every right to dismiss me, to judge me and decide that I was not worth her time. Her choice to give me another chance was a lesson that taught me much about how I want to live my life. Because Debbie knew that unforgiveness always leads to bitterness which keeps us living with a broken heart, she showed grace, and because of that, our friendship has become an elite bond we both cherish. Not a week goes by that we don’t spend time together. Last year, when Debbie and I were having lunch, I brought up how I wish I could take back those accusatory words, but my friend would have none of it. “That’s in the past. What we have now is the best.” We both are blessed beyond measure because Debbie was the bigger person.

Is there someone you need to forgive? Or would you rather harbor your power-in-payback resentment and hold to the lofty “over my dead body” mantra? I pray that you don’t see that to its literal ending.

Keys to the Kingdom

While preparing breakfast the other morning, I placed the biscuits on the baking sheet. Then I started making the gravy while waiting for the oven temperature to preheat to 375. After several minutes, I glanced at the temp light and noticed the oven wasn’t even turned on. When stuff like that happens, it’s really annoying. A raw or half-baked biscuit isn’t fit to eat. I intended to turn on the oven, but I got sidetracked. When I discovered my error, I quickly fixed it ‘cause you can’t eat gravy without a biscuit!

Anything that’s halfway finished or halfheartedly performed is either a huge disappointment or just flat worthless. For example, what cowboy wants to eat bloody jerky? What person in his right mind would eat half-baked chicken? I thought about the way some Christians live with a halfhearted commitment to God. If I was annoyed over the biscuits, just think how annoyed God is when His children are half-baked.

Christ delivers a severe warning to all believers in the last book of the New Testament: “I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!” (Revelation 3:15,16 NLT). The term “hot” represents those who genuinely love and obey God with all their heart and are on fire for His Kingdom. The term “cold” indicates unbelievers who admit they’re lost. “Lukewarm” represents Christians who have no real commitment, obedience, or power, and are satisfied with their half-baked lifestyle.

In the Old Testament, we find that Caleb wholly followed the Lord. While some who believed in God were content to simply follow, Caleb went full throttle after God. “But My servant Caleb, because he has a different spirit in him and has followed Me fully, I will bring into the land where he went, and his descendants shall inherit it” (Numbers 14:24 NKJV). Those who wholeheartedly obey God and seek His presence will always enjoy His blessing upon their lives.

In 1 Samuel Chapter 15, the Prophet Samuel gave King Saul a message from the Lord. He was to completely destroy the entire Amalekite nation (all the men, women, children, babies, cattle, sheep, goats, camels, and donkeys), including King Agag. Long story short, King Saul spared Agag’s life and kept the best of the animals and anything else that appealed to him. Sadly, King Saul did not wholly follow the Lord, and God rejected him because halfhearted (partial) obedience is not obedience at all.

When you search your heart and find you’re between hot and cold, you can quickly fix it by repenting. You shouldn’t be satisfied to live as a lukewarm Christian. Jesus’ words are very clear: “You must love the Lord your God with ALL your heart, ALL your soul, and ALL your mind“ (Matthew 22:37 NLT). The eyes of the Lord search the whole earth in order to help those whose hearts are fully committed to Him.

The Key: Get rid of your lukewarm half-baked biscuits and wholeheartedly serve the Lord.

“Steve” is an odd duck, and the first time Dave and I handed in our paperwork to join the Mazatlán Pickleball Club, his bossy, no-nonsense quack got on my nerves. As the group organizer, however, Steve deserves credit. He brings the six portable nets, keeps track of the paper work and dictates the times of each game. Lots of busy work that I would not enjoy doing.

This week Dave and I were ten minutes late arriving to the courts, at which time Steve used his 50-yard voice to boom to all 30 players, “Please arrive before 10:00 so the teams can be organized. Keep your masks on if you aren’t playing. And only if you are married can you stand closer than six-feet with each other. We socially distance here.”

Dave and I were sent to the beginner side of the courts but soon were told that we needed to go to the “other side” where the more advanced players competed. Pickle ball players recognized our skills. I was pumped.

Which didn’t last. We arrived just in time for new teams to be assigned, and guess who I got! Yep, bossy Steve. Fine, I thought. Now you’ll see that I know what I’m doing and I’m not a five-year old who needs to be scolded.

And for the next 12 minutes, I learned that, no matter what I did, it was wrong. WRONG– announced with that same, overbearing 50-yard voice. Even the team opposing us grimaced with every “teaching suggestion” Steve used to let me know how much I had to learn.

“Hit and advance.

You’re lagging. Hit and advance.

Toes two inches from the kitchen line.

You didn’t hit and advance.

Let me tell you again—toes two inches from the kitchen line and no more. You’re about three.

I will tell you this again…hit and advance.

There are seven reasons you must be two inches from the kitchen line. I will explain those to you later.” (Which he did).

Even when I made a good shot, according to my know-it-all partner, I made a bad choice. “Well, you got the point, but that wasn’t the wisest approach.” About six minutes into the set, I was shaking like the tail of an agitated rattlesnake. How dare he humiliate me in front of all these people! It was all I could do to not pinch Steve’s lips into a knot and share my expertise in how to communicate effectively. Even Dave later said that he felt sorry for me as he listened from the sidelines.

Following that game, one of the players apologized for Steve and then added, “You know he’s autistic, right? That’s why he has no social skills.”

And suddenly, I saw bossy Steve in a different light. He was functioning with a serious handicap. Granted, he could use some behavior modification techniques, but this wasn’t his fault. It was, however, my fault I was acting with such pride. Philippians 2:3 tells us to do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility we are to value others above ourselves. I was not valuing Steve above myself.

That was about to change when, two sets later, he was on the other side of the net. I was able to praise him for his good shots, knowing that he surely enjoyed the compliments. I didn’t need Pickleball to be validated. What I did need was to learn that judging others based on how they make me feel is selfish, pointless, and prideful.

Steve had an excuse. What was mine?

Keys to the Kingdom – Carolyn Tucker

Many of my childhood church memories revolve around the music. Back then, we had a song leader, pianist, organist, and a congregation who loved to sing. The song leader would select a few hymns, and then would ask if anyone had a number they’d like for us to sing. Sister Ada Samsel would usually call out for #78 “Unsearchable Riches” in the key of Bb in 6/8 timing. Another hymn we sang was “His Yoke is Easy.” I never thought a yoke looked easy because it was heavy and cumbersome. Although I’ve sang and played that song most of my life, I did not understand it until four years ago.

The scripture reference for this hymn is found in Matthew 11:28-30 NKJV: “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.“

I have an old photo of my Dad and his sister each sitting atop a pair of work horses. Ol’ Bird and Puss were a necessary asset to farming the acres in the Needmore community. They were a well-matched pair and could accomplish a lot in a sun-up to sun-down day. I’m not old enough to have seen anyone work with a pair of oxen, mules, or work horses to plow up the soil. But, I understand how the system is supposed to work. You can’t pair up an ox with a mule and expect the plowing to go well, or go at all for that matter. In order to accomplish a tough task, these animals must work side by side to equally pull the heavy load.

When a believer finds himself staring at the hard ground beneath his feet, it’s time to get yoked up with Jesus. This is the only example where an unmatched pair works together perfectly. We must deliberately join Jesus so He can pull the heavy load. He’ll do all the laboring and wearisome work which enables us to simply walk beside Him and find rest. If you’ve been trying to plow the bottom 40 all alone, you’ll find out you can’t do it any longer by yourself. When you choose to be yoked together with Jesus, you have the greatest Partner in the world who is able to turn a hard situation into a lighter outcome.

This hymn was written by R. E. Hudson and the chorus lyrics are: “His yoke is easy; His burden is light. I’ve found it so, I’ve found it so. He leadeth me by day and by night where living waters flow.“ You might say I’ve burned my own yoke, stepped into Jesus’ yoke, and now He’s taking the load so that my burden is light. And this is accomplished by faith in His Word and receiving His matchless grace for the moment.

The Key: Jesus’ yoke is easy, so start plowing together instead of on your own.

Trivia containing “Home Hints” or “Fun Facts” often are sent to me. Years ago, when I was teaching high school, one such Email– two pages full of such tidbits– made its way into my Inbox. I recited them to my students who found them as interesting as I did…until, that is, I read #10 which stated, “It is impossible to lick your elbow.” Immediately, a junior in the back row licked his elbow, making me skeptical of the other “facts” I was asked to believe.

All that to bring me to the story of my splinter. A few months ago, Dave and I were in Springfield, Missouri, picking up our kayak after having a hole repaired at the shop where we bought it five years ago. This was a good plan, since the option was Hubby’s grandiose idea to glue his stash of Gatorade lids together, melt them into the puckering cavity and call it good. The kayak shop seemed a better bet.

We had borrowed a trailer which, to our surprise, ended up being one we had loaned our son a decade ago and hadn’t seen until it turned up—suffering multiple maladies, including rust, rotting boards and no taillights– behind my nephew’s shed.

I digress.

Sliding the mended kayak onto the trailer, I immediately felt the pain of a splinter in my thumb. Dave’s attempt to remove it by using a fishing lure–one he found latched onto a web pocket in the kayak—left me with a bloody thumb and an embedded sliver of wood too deep to extract. Once home, I referred to my “Home Hints” on how to remove the little demon. The first suggestion was to lather it with honey, sit back, and watch the sweet goo do its magic. And get this! It worked. Within 5 minutes, the splinter had finagled its way to the surface. A “fun fact” that panned out.

So, I now am rethinking my decision that all of these “fun facts” are hogwash. Just because one student could lick his elbow doesn’t dispel the other 20 pieces of information that might just come in handy someday…like in a trivia contest or as a painless remedy. We need to determine what is truth and what isn’t.

I have a friend who considers the Bible nothing more than a collection of useless, truthless trivia. She is a splinter to my soul, for she believes that there is no “Absolute Truth” and that only fools buy into Jesus’ claim that he is “Truth.” I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (Jn. 14:6) The irony, as I have pointed out to her, is obvious: “So, to you, your Absolute Truth is that there is no Absolute Truth. Interesting.”

For me, the Bible works. It is not simply 66 books of useless minutiae but is a personal, love letter from God to everyone who seeks Him. Psalm 119:105 refers to it as “a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.”

The Bible brings me peace and promises me a future. It tells me of a loving God who became man and suffered everything we have suffered, exchanging His life for ours. It makes me a better person as it reminds me to be forgiving, selfless, honest, patient (still working on that one), loving and kind. It tells me that I may have some ugly splinters in my heart that need to be extracted but that “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” (Prov, 16:24)

Useless trivia? I can’t imagine anything further from the truth.

Keys to the Kingdom – Carolyn Tucker

One of my favorite TV cartoons was “The Flintstones” which aired from 1960 to 1966. I was greatly entertained by the Stone-Age setting which included foot-powered cars, The Daily Slate “newspaper” chiseled on rock, and the family’s pet dogasaurus Dino. Basically everything in the town of Bedrock was made out of rock, even their mattresses!

Flint is a hard type of stone that the Native American Indians used to make tools and arrowheads. They wouldn’t even consider using shale because it’s a soft rock that breaks under the slightest pressure. As Christians, we need to be “hardheaded” in our determination to wholeheartedly trust and obey Jesus. Also, we don’t want to be like shale and fall apart at the first sign of difficulty or temptation.

Here is an excellent scripture of hope for these challenging days: “Because the Lord God helps me, I will not be dismayed; therefore, I have set my face like flint to do His will, and I know that I will triumph” (Isaiah 50:7 TLB). Make a rock-solid decision that you will not look to the right or left as you follow Jesus. Let’s shake off the 2020 dust from our feet and move on with an attitude of victory.

If you’ve suffered the death of a loved one in the past year, I’m not suggesting that this loss can be shrugged off. I know firsthand that there’s an unavoidable grieving process to go through. Rather, I am referring to the unpleasant detours that pop up during your journey. Once you get through it, you can begin to move forward. But in order to grow spiritually, you must place your trust in God and not dwell on the past.

I like this encouraging verse from Apostle Paul: “…I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us (Philippians 3:13,14 NLT). Looking back doesn’t help you walk forward. In fact, it causes you to stumble because you’re not watching where you’re going!

In the Old Testament, we find Lot, his wife, and two daughters fleeing from Sodom because God’s angels were going to destroy it. When they were safely out of the city, the angel ordered, “Run for your lives! And don’t look back or stop anywhere in the valley! …But Lot’s wife looked back…and she turned into a pillar of salt” (Genesis 19:17,26 NLT). She should have set her face like flint to look ahead and press on with God‘s help.

Even though Lot’s wife was an unnamed woman in the Bible, and was mentioned only three times, we can learn a crucial lesson from her. Even Jesus referred to her in Luke 17:32 NKJV: “Remember Lot’s wife.” There’s diverse speculation as to why she looked back. But the simple fact is she did not obey an express command. Disobeying God’s Word will always result in calamity — no matter what the excuse is.

The Key: Hold to God’s hand, set your face like flint, and don’t look back.

This morning, while walking with a friend, I shared that I was writing this week’s article on what parents go through if their children disappoint them. Her response? “Don’t you mean “when” instead of “if”? Perhaps you agree, so let me ask this question: how do you respond when your kids disappoint you? You know, when they fail to live up to the standards and values you have tried so hard to instill in them?

Many of you readers know what I’m talking about. You helped your kiddos in their studies, faithfully took them to church every Sunday, encouraged them in whatever activities they loved and taught them right from wrong. But they make choices that clearly aren’t wise and ones you never would recommend.

They begin to run with the wrong crowd. Fail to take their studies seriously. Sneak out at night. Act promiscuously. Spend too much time on video games. Vape. Do drugs. Close you out of their lives and build a quiet resentment towards you. Marry a slug. Turn from God.

And you, as a Christian, enter into the world of “cover up.” After all, what will other believers think? You know, the ones who birthed the kind of child you deserved. The ones with the perfect sons and daughters who were potty trained before they could walk and wrote math manuals in first grade and will grow up to be keynote speakers at Christian conferences and lead others to Christ on a daily basis.

You sit in study groups with those parents and listen as they share the depth of their children’s faith while you squirm and silently, desperately, try to conjure up something somewhat spiritual you can brag about, hopefully redeeming the reputation of your child. Let’s see…this week you didn’t get a call from his teacher, and no police officer has shown up at your doorstep this month. Yippee!!! Time to hang the piñata and celebrate.

Dave and I were embarrassed on more than one occasion with the behavior of our children. Behavior that we did not cover up. Behavior that was discussed openly in whatever town we lived at the time. Oh, we would talk to our kids about their actions, and for a while–like an hour or two–they would follow our guidance, but within a short time, they would revert to a life of disobedience. In response, I would sign up for every Christian conference dealing with raising godly children.

The speaker’s story was always the same. She had prayed and fasted from the time she was ten years old, just anticipating the day she would have children. Her kids now were missionary doctors in the Cambodia jungles, as were her adult grandchildren. (I’m not exaggerating…by much.) I would sit there, wanting to smack her upside her cheery little head, fearful that my children would end up in the penitentiary…and they weren’t yet in kindergarten.

What had Dave and I done wrong? We looked to the Bible for comfort and were introduced to parents who loved God but had children who disappointed. Eli, the high priest at the temple and the one asked to raise Samuel, had two sons who died after defying God’s rules. Samuel, the prophet whose life was dedicated to God, had sons who did not follow in his virtuous footsteps. King David (“a man after God’s own heart”) birthed a rapist, a murderer and two sons who started a coup against their dad. Suddenly, I didn’t feel so bad.

Being filled with guilt over how we hadn’t parented well was pointless. Sure, we weren’t perfect, but it’s not like we trained our kids to defy us…or God. I mean, our sons might have used each other for target practice, bloodied each other’s lips on a semi-regular basis, tackled too hard, pushed a brother through the dry wall in retaliation for a ping-pong paddle to his head, or hung the younger sibling upside down from the tree fort, but none of them turned from God or committed the crimes of these Biblical children.

Is it any wonder I find great comfort in reading my Bible?