Kenny Rogers made famous the song “The Gambler.” Occasionally, I find myself reciting a line from his lyrics: “You gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away and know when to run.” I sing those words when sometimes—thankfully, not very often–I just have to give up.

For my own, mental, well-being. Guilt, be gone. Have you been there? A boss finds nothing but fault in your work. No praise. Only complaints. You know there is much to compliment, but the applause is used for co-workers who join him after work for a drink, not you. Your teacher uses you as her verbal punching bag, making your homework assignments “unacceptable” examples to your classmates, calling you out for forgetting a date in your heading or a crease in your page. Teacher’s pet you are not. A sibling pushes your buttons at every family function, reminding the relatives of the times you wet the bed when you were eight or were the last one chosen for the team dodge ball competition or were voted “most likely to never marry” (and you never did) in the mean-kid, middle-school group text. A “friend” attempts to make you feel guilty with passive-aggressive comments about how you let her down, always adding “LOL” afterwards in an effort to minimize the obvious criticism. “Well, I see you must be really busy because you can’t seem to find time to call me. LOL” “Of course, you would choose Becky over me. She always was your favorite. LOL” These are not fictional stories. I know the people to whom these incidents have happened.

One of my favorite Christian books that addresses the issue of guilt is Boundaries authored by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend. Written to people who absorb guilt like Mike Lindell’s towels absorb water (at least, that’s what we’re told), the authors teach the readers to know when to say no in order to set healthy, biblical boundaries for themselves.

I appreciate how PhD Jamie Turndorf puts it in Psychology Today: “Nobody can take you on a guilt trip, if you aren’t willing to pack your bags and take the ride.”

Easier than it sounds. Because sometimes, that means that after you exhaust loving communication tactics, you walk away. Perhaps, even run.

“Jessie,” a dear friend of mine, joined Al-anon when her best friend’s alcoholism began to ruin their relationship. At her meetings, Jessie learned that when Sue called her and was drunk, she was to say, “Sue, I can tell you have been drinking. Please call me back when you are sober. I love you.” Then she hung up.

At first, Sue was livid, phoning Jessie nonstop to guilt her into listening. Ultimately, she got the message. Romans 8:1 is a Bible verse that we should all memorize: Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus… If Jesus doesn’t remind us of where we mess up, then no one else should, either.

Keys to the Kingdom

Both of my kids are in their 30s and married. But when they come home, it’s like they’ve never left. If they want something to eat or drink, they open the refrigerator or snack cabinet and take whatever suits their fancy. And that’s the way I want it and that’s the way it should be…at least where I come from. There’s a comfortable and loving feeling in making yourself at home. But in order to “make yourself at home” you have to have an up-close and personal relationship with the homeowner.

Too many believers admire God from afar. But He wants our relationship with Him to be genuine and intimate. In Jesus’ earthly life we can see the close relationship He had with His heavenly Father. Jesus spent a lot of time in prayer seeking direction before choosing the disciples, asking for comfort after John the Baptist was beheaded, etc. He depended on His Father to strengthen, console, and speak to Him. Jesus took time out from life’s routine to be alone with God. It’s not our natural tendency to be quiet before the Lord, but Jesus had victory because He fellowshipped with God. And the same is true for us.

Don’t let your sins, failures, or weaknesses come between you and your heavenly Father. God never moves away from us and Jesus never stops interceding for you. When the prodigal son took his inheritance and moved to a distant land, the father stayed right where he was. Day after day, He watched and longed for his son to return home. “So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him…. His father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. …We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began” (Luke 15:20, 22-24 NLT). Even though the son made every wrong and stupid choice he possibly could, he finally came to his senses and made the decision to go back home. I imagine he had to step away from the loud, distracting, and obnoxious noises of the pigpen to hear God‘s tender voice of direction.

It’s important to understand that the son confessed his sins, failures, and weaknesses to his loving father. “His son said to him, ’Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son‘” (Luke 15:21 NLT). Sweeping sin under the rug will not bring the forgiveness we need in order to have an up-close and personal relationship with our merciful Father.

In the Old Testament, the Lord whispered to Elijah. “And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And a voice said, ‘What are you doing here, Elijah?’” (1 Kings 19:11-13 NLT).

The Key: If you want to feel at home with your heavenly Father, stay close enough to hear Him whisper.

Energy

We are all painfully aware of the rapid rise in gas prices over the last year, and the significant adjustments we have made in our personal budgets to accommodate the increases. The price at the pump has almost doubled in the last 14 months, setting a new all-time high of $4.33 per gallon of regular gasoline based on the national average.

As individuals and non-oil related businesses, we know this is bad for Bourbon County, but what about our oil producers in the county? Where do we stand in oil production compared to the other 104 Kansas counties? Ninety counties reported oil production in Kansas, leaving 15 with zero production. Cherokee County was the only Southeast Kansas (“SEK”) name on that short list.

Woodson County is the SEK leader in oil production, with 3,788 wells producing 449,792 barrels of oil in 2019. Assuming oil producers are receiving $50 per barrel more than they did in January of 2021, Woodson County would have generated additional gross revenue of $22.5 million in 2019; that is over $7,200 per county resident, which is significant. Of the producing counties in SEK, Labette was at the bottom with 104 wells producing 7,168 barrels, adding annual gross revenue of $358,400.

In 2019, Bourbon County had 697 wells that produced 56,442 barrels of oil. Assuming the same $50 a barrel price increase, that generates an additional $2.8 million dollars in gross revenue, which equates to about $197 per resident. Not insignificant, but certainly less impactful than our neighbors to the west.

These numbers represent estimated additional gross revenue, but inflation has not been limited to the price of oil. Certainly these producers have incurred significant addition costs to get the oil out of the ground and to the buyers. In the process, they have added to our tax base; however, the windfall has been experienced by a relatively few residents while the cost increases at the pump have hit all of us.

The energy sector is another example of how national policies impact rural America beyond our control. We are experiencing the penalty of an overzealous rush to clean energy at the expense of our current system. Common sense would dictate that we let the pace of technological advances determine how quickly we evolve from fossil fuel to renewables. It is too soon to cancel pipelines, withhold Federal real estate from leasing, increase the cost of drilling permits and limit fracking. Additionally, our enemies benefit when we forfeit our energy independence.

Climate change is definitely a factor in all energy discussions, but the best science does not forecast an eminent catastrophe. In the meantime, let us efficiently use our existing energy resources while alternative technology advances, and minimize the negative impact to rural America and our country as a whole. An “all of the above” approach to energy, including nuclear, is best for rural America.

The rules are clear at most of the Mazatlán orphanages: when you turn 18, you are on your own (much like the foster care system in America).

When Guy and Nicole learned about a group of orphaned, male teens who wanted to go to college, they found a way to make it happen and opened El Refugio, a home where the boys could stay until they graduated from college and were on their feet.

For St. Patrick’s Day, Dave and I and dozens of other couples attended a St. Patty’s Patio Gala fundraiser at the founders’ home built on a cliff overlooking the ocean.

Wearing green “Gems of Mazatlán” t-shirts, we represented the group overseeing the care of the five local orphanages. All evening, the eighteen-year-olds, dressed in their El Refugio polo shirts and jeans, carried trays of hors d’oeuvres and manned drink stations, all smiling and offering to help.

When we entered Guy and Nicole’s home, we were given a game card. We were to fill in the blanks for four contests, each located on a different balcony as we descended the cliff where their home was perched.

First, we guessed how many Irish, gold coins were mounded on a table. Descending two flights of stairs, we were at pool level where we wrote how many shamrocks were floating in the water. On the next tier was a table holding various glass containers, each filled with green water and one question: How many total ounces are represented? The last balcony was next to a raised, grassy area with green rope strung through various trees. Our task was to estimate how many inches of rope we saw. For the grand prize—dinner at four of Mazatlán’s nicest restaurants—we added up all of our amounts, wrote that number down, and placed our cards in a large, green box. I compared cards with Jill, my accountant-friend, who reminded me that we always under estimate. I added another thousand to my answer and turned in my card. I didn’t win.

What was interesting was how people viewed this contest. There were those like me who painstakingly labored over each area. Others haphazardly wrote down whatever number popped into their head, knowing they weren’t going to win anyway. Some used their phone calculators (which I thought strange). There were contestants who guarded their cards and others who shared their guesses. I offered to show mine to other guests, but no one seemed interested.

Isn’t that the same with how people witness about Jesus? Some memorize various scriptures to be able to recite—in order—the Plan of Salvation. No mistakes allowed. Some ho-hum the entire process (“I’ll think about that tomorrow”) while others hope they do enough good things to get a passing grade. I know people who just “wing it,” hoping someone asks them what they believe so they don’t have to initiate the tough talk.

The saddest, to me, are the ones who keep their faith to themselves and fail to share it at all. You know, the “Private matter” syndrome. The last category is the one in which zealots speak of nothing else and run people away: “So, how about those Jayhawks?” “Yes, God is an amazing creator, isn’t He?”

Then again, who am I to judge? I can’t even guess how many shamrocks are floating in a pool, much less how God works.

Keys to the Kingdom

My Dad, Morris J. Hayward, served in Germany on the front lines in the 90^th Infantry Division, Company B, under General George S. Patton’s Third Army. General Patton is the most famous and celebrated U.S. general of that era. He was an outstanding motivator and one of the best tacticians of the time. He was the most colorful general, known by the troops as “Blood and Guts” Patton. My Dad further defined that nickname by explaining, “Yeah, his guts and our blood.” With a mighty combination of blood and guts, the U. S. and our allies defeated the Nazis and won the victory in the European Theater.

It usually takes a combination of things working together like a well-oiled machine to achieve successful results. “For God sent Christ Jesus to take the punishment for our sins and to end all God’s anger against us. He used Christ’s blood and our faith as the means of saving us from His wrath” (Romans 3:25 TLB). Jesus died on the cross so that all might live victoriously and be saved from hell. But it takes faith to believe in Jesus, and the guts to stick with it, in order to achieve the abundant life here and eternal life in heaven.

When General Patton devised his incomparable battle plans, what would have happened if he hadn’t been able to find any soldiers with enough guts to carry it out? It takes guts for believers to take a stand for Christ — it always has. It takes guts to not go with the flow (any old dead fish can float downstream). It takes guts to love the ugly-hearted and extend forgiveness. It takes guts to live according to God’s Word when the world wants to live like the devil.

Even in the face of terrible odds, believers can choose to go with God and have victorious outcomes. I’m not talking about just going to heaven when we die, I’m referring to having victory right here, right now. “No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us” (Romans 8:37 NLT). The Son of God loved everyone so much that He was willing to shed His blood in order to save us from ourselves (a life of selfish misery). There’s more power in the blood of Jesus than a Sherman tank. There’s more power in Jesus’ blood to free a person’s soul than a B-24 Liberator.

We’d all be dead in the water if it weren’t for the blood of Jesus. “In fact, according to the law of Moses, nearly everything was purified with blood. For without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness” (Hebrews 9:22 NLT). Jesus has done His part once and for all and it’s up to everybody else to do their part. He provided the blood.

We are marching through a world that’s not our true home. “Dear friends, I warn you as ‘temporary residents and foreigners’ to keep away from worldly desires that wage war against your very souls. Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors…(1 Peter 2:11,12 NLT). Believers aren’t in a physical war like Patton’s Third Army, but we are in a spiritual war. We must be determined to hold our position and never give up or give in to the enemy of our souls. And that, brother and sister, takes guts.

The Key: With His blood and our guts, believers can be more than conquerors.

Poverty

Economic development is not about the rich getting richer. It should be about lifting all sectors of our economy by giving everyone a chance to succeed. That includes supporting education, health care and charities that target short-term help to those in immediate need. As individuals, we should also look charitably on our neighbors in need and help as we can in safe and productive ways according to the resources we have been afforded. An economy cannot be considered successful that leaves a segment of the population behind.

There is good news on the poverty front. According to a 2019 article entitled “Global Extreme Poverty” by Max Roser and Esteban Ortiz-Ospina, 1.9 billion people worldwide lived in extreme poverty in 1990; by 2020, estimates are that the number was 479 million, a 74.8% drop over the last 30 years. Estimates are that the number will stabilize and be about the same in 2030.

Looking back further, the article observes that 94% of the world lived in extreme poverty in 1820; now, that number is 9.6%. The big winner has been Asia. The losers? Sub-Sahara Africa and the Middle East; both regions have lost ground to poverty. All other regions have improved their poverty percentage. There is no question that the wave of freedom initiated in the 18^th century, including the American and French Revolutions, have had a positive, long-term economic impact on the world. For the first time in modern history, a high percentage of the world had the power of self-determination.

What about Bourbon County, Kansas? In 1990, the rate was 19.7%, well above the State number of 11.5% and higher than all surrounding counties. By 2010, the number had lowered to 15.9%, which was still above the State average of 13.2%, but below neighboring counties. Since then, the number has gone up and down significantly, cresting at 20.9% in 2012, and mitigating to 15.6% by 2019; that number leaves us below the surrounding counties to the South, but remains above the State percentage at 11.3% and Linn County at 12.0%.

What can we do about poverty in Bourbon County from an economic development perspective? First, we need to define the size and nature of the demographic. Who are they and where do they live? Only then can we make sure that all new development and investments in Bourbon County have elements that help the impoverished, not further isolate or marginalize them.

Additionally, we need to support charitable and governmental programs and outreaches to those below the poverty line, including health care and education, both public and private. Community development must consider all segments, geographies and entities within out county and encourage positive investments in the totality.

As we begin the process of a third party analysis of Bourbon County, we will be mindful of the whole county. We need everyone to come along with us if our community is to be the best that we can be.

The world watches, abhorred that a bully is at work, not just a normal, schoolyard bully, but an evil bully who cares not about the sanctity of life. We applaud as other nations criticize Vladimir Putin’s actions because I’m afraid in many ways, we Americans have become desensitized to evil. Yesterday, a friend shared that his daughter-in-law’s parents are hunkered down in Ukraine. Another prayer list from Fort Scott listed a family member in the same boat. My son Adam is there, bringing humanitarian aid in and taking orphans and the wounded out to Romania. Once it becomes personal, this slaughter takes on a whole new meaning, doesn’t it? At some point, we need to be bothered. Prayerfully bothered. In Revelation 3:15-16, Jesus speaks through the apostle John to the church of Laodicea: I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth. What was going on there that angered the Lord? I’ll tell you what: The church members had become numb, lethargic, desensitized to evil, and Jesus clearly was displeased. Is there a chance that we are of the same mindset? Or are we zealous, abhorring evil, as God wants us to be? Christians, beware. When we turn on our televisions, do we…

• “Tsk-tsk, another slaughter of human life!”
• “Tsk-tsk, the Russians are raping the Ukrainian women.
• “Tsk-tsk, the statistics on abortion are alarming.”
• “Tsk-tsk, how many F-words can Yellowstone use before I opt to watch something else?”
• “Tsk-tsk, a few more Afghanistan rescues; too bad I can’t do something to help.”
• “Tsk-tsk, homeless people have taken over our cities. Glad I don’t live there!”

A few days ago, Peter and Melinda, the heads of The Gems of Mazatlán, a philanthropic organization that raises money for the five local orphanages, called to share that one of the orphanages had no working toilets. An underground pipe, once repaired with plastic bags, was leaking. I had told Peter that my Fort Scott friend had sent money with me, instructing me to use it at whichever orphanage needed it the most. Eenie-meenie-minie-mo. All are understaffed and underfunded. This need, however, was urgent. Peter called and asked if the money could be used for the pipe repair. It would cover only about 1/6 of the cost, but it was a start. I was frustrated. That particular orphanage is affiliated with one of the largest denominations in the world, yet there never is enough money. We volunteers have renovated, painted, sewn, repaired, pruned, and met all of its manual-labor needs for the past few years. The Gems of Mazatlán had even hired a teacher when Covid restrictions forbade the kids to go to school. How could such a large denomination become so desensitized to the needs of these youngsters and not step in to help? Oh, I don’t know, Patty. Probably the same way you didn’t go to the orphanage to work last week because you had a challenging tennis match. Or probably the same way you were in too big of a hurry after your pedicure to stop and give money to the man on the street with no feet. Or probably the way you… Yea, once it becomes personal, this takes on a whole new meaning.

Keys to the Kingdom

Wind is a natural movement of the air and it can be a powerful invisible force to be reckoned with. A few years ago on a warm sunny day, my husband and I headed east to Missouri on a bike ride. On the return trip, we encountered a strong southerly crosswind so Jimmy had to lean the Suzuki Boulevard heavily to the left just to keep it upright. He used counter pressure against the relentless high winds. A gentle breeze is always preferred, but you don’t always get what you want. We had no control over the weather, so he had to make appropriate maneuvers in order for us to make it back home in one piece. I knew I could trust my husband to get us safely home because he’d experienced rough rides before and knew how to handle them.

The apostle Paul experienced dangerous storms at sea in Acts Chapter 27. He and 275 others encountered strong headwinds that made it difficult to keep the ship on course. They had several days of rough sailing as they beat into the wind with great difficulty. They also encountered typhoon-strength winds and had to let the ship run before the gale. Even though the unstoppable storm raged several days, an angel told Paul not to be afraid and to take courage. They eventually shipwrecked on an inhabited island, but no lives were lost and the islanders treated them well.

Smooth sailing is not always on life’s appointment book. Spiritually speaking, I’ve had to batten down the hatches to do my part in keeping my ship from splintering into a million pieces. And that’s why it’s important to know and believe in the Master of the Wind. We can trust God to get us safely through the troubled waters when the breeze turns into an unexpected gale. “He shall not be afraid of evil tidings; his heart is firmly fixed, trusting (leaning on and being confident) in the Lord” (Psalm 112:7 AMP). I like the word “fixed“ because it means fastened securely in position; stable, rooted, or anchored. My part is to fix my heart on Jesus and believe the truth of His Word. Feelings are fickle, so I can’t be fixed on them. Believers are well prepared for a difficulty or crisis when they’re anchored in the Lord and trust confidently in His Word.

One of my favorite songs in the 1953 Lillenas hymnal is “I‘ve Anchored in Jesus,” written by L.E. Jones. The lyrics for verse one and the chorus are: “Upon life’s boundless ocean where mighty billows roll, I’ve fixed my hope in Jesus, blest Anchor of my soul. When trials fierce assail me as storms are gathering o’er, I rest upon His mercy and trust Him more. I’ve anchored in Jesus, the storms of life I’ll brave. I’ve anchored in Jesus, I fear no wind or wave. I’ve anchored in Jesus for He has power to save. I’ve anchored in the Rock of Ages.”

If Christians wait until the crisis hits to batten down the hatches, we’ve wasted valuable prep time. We have to live ready for a storm, not in fear but, anchored in trust and confidence in the Captain who’s never lost a ship. Jesus is our counter pressure against the fierce winds of life. Paul’s prayer for the Ephesians is for us today: “I pray that from His glorious, unlimited resources He will empower you with inner strength through His Spirit. Then Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust in Him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong” (Ephesians 3:16,17 NLT).

The Key: When the breeze turns into a gale, lay hold of The Anchor and ride it out.

This intangible, invisible characteristic can mean the difference between success and failure, profit or loss, winning or losing and growth or shrinkage. Community morale is so important, and while largely unseen, someone new or visiting a small town can sense it in the air. Do you believe in Bourbon County and the communities therein, or have you been burned and disappointed so many times that you are apathetic? How a critical mass of our citizens answer that question can make or break us.

This point was hammered home to me when I read a recent article in the Wall Street Journal about the war in Ukraine. The whole world is wondering why a country five times bigger, far better equipped, and with nuclear capabilities cannot rapidly subdue this upstart country, established in 1991. I believe the answer is morale. The article contained a video in which captured Russian soldiers were interviewed, saying they did not know they were going to invade Ukraine, did not know why they were fighting, and when they asked their commanders, they were told to “Shut up and move forward!” Imagine the drop in morale when bullets started flying and their friends were dying around them.

Contrast that with the rag-tag Ukrainian military, many of which recently enlisted and have no fighting skills. They are defending their homeland, and are inspired by their political leaders who are donning helmets and heading towards the front. The morale and resolve of these men and women are making a huge difference in the outcome.

During my seven years in Bourbon County, I have been impressed with the community spirit and morale of many fellow citizens, and inspired by their resolve. In particular, the business community is active and vibrant, with a surprising large number of new businesses opening in recent years. If you doubt it, attend a chamber event, such as the Thursday morning Chamber Coffee, and you will be amongst an active, motivated group who love where they live and what they are doing; they genuinely enjoy being around each other.

I know that we have many problems, some within our control, others outside our influence. Several national megatrends are working against us; however, this is our home and this is the only life with which we are gifted. I encourage you to be part of the solution, rather than cursing the mistakes of the past and challenges of the future. Purposeless negativity does not help. Do not let others limit you and what we can be together.

I ask you to invest in the morale of Bourbon County. Put on your big boy/girl pants, get out of your safe little world, help with solutions, and be the kick in the morale someone else needs. Don your helmet, and head to the front; we are all counting on you.

Lent is upon us, reminding me of my time in Catholic School when we would stand beside our desk and announce what we were giving up. My friends’ answers— “Candy,” “My bicycle,” “Ice cream,” “Bonanza” —paled in comparison to mine. Naturally, no one was dim-witted enough to say “Nothing,” especially when it was a spiritual opportunity to one-up each other. And yes, I was competitive like that. I apologize. Probably because of jealousy, my noble sacrifice never received the acclamations it deserved, even though mine seriously eclipsed everyone else’s. I would give up the one thing I craved, the one snack upon which I was dependent for happiness: salt on ice cubes. Had my classmates not eaten for 40 days, their sacrifice wouldn’t come close to mine. They, unlike me, had no idea what withdrawals were all about. For the entire Lenten season, it was all I could do not to sneak an ice cube since the entire procedure took such little effort. Five simple steps to Paradise: (1). Remove the ice tray from the freezer. (2). Pull the silver lever to loosen the cubes. (3). Place the ice into one of those colored aluminum cups. (4.) Add salt granules. (5). Lick away. I get goosebumps just thinking about it. The first year I proudly broadcast my answer in class, not-a-little-agitated Sister looked at me like I was a whack-a-doodle, told me this wasn’t a joke and had me sit down. (Are you understanding my embarrassment here? I mean, who’s going to double-cross God by fibbing when grace points are involved?) Even I had standards…well, sort of. Anyway, I went home and told my poor mother what happened, hoping for some consoling words. “Well, Patty Ann, I’m sure Sister _________ didn’t mean it to embarrass you.” (Not the first time I had heard those words from Mom, I assure you.) Anyway, a friend recently sent me Pope Francis’s suggestions for other Lenten sacrifices that are just as noble as my salt-on-ice cubes offering: Fast from hurting words and say kind words. Fast from sadness and be filled with gratitude. Fast from anger and be filled with patience. Fast from pessimism and be filled with hope. Fast from worries and have trust in God. Fast from complaints and contemplate simplicity. Fast from pressures and be prayerful. Fast from bitterness and fill your hearts with joy. Fast from selfishness and be compassionate to others. Fast from grudges and be reconciled. Fast from words and be silent so you can listen. I wish I would have thought of Pope Francis’s idea when I was in fourth grade. It would have saved me a lot of embarrassment. Then again, in all honesty, at that age, these wouldn’t have been as difficult to forego as my ice cubes were. Now, however, well, that’s a different story.