I love the story of the woman who woke up one Monday morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head. “Well,” she said, “I think I’ll braid my hair today.” She did and she had a wonderful day. On Tuesday she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head. “Hmm,” she said, “I think I’ll part my hair down the middle today.” She did, and she had a great day. Wednesday morning she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. “Well,” she said, “today I’m going to wear my hair in a ponytail.” So she did, and she had a fun day. On Thursday she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn’t a single hair on her head. “Yes!” she exclaimed, “I don’t have to fix my hair today!”

I thought of that story this past Thanksgiving when Dave and I joined family members and their friends at the dunes in Dumont, California.  They all had spent several days there in their RV’s, riding their “toys” (dirt bikes and side-by-sides) over humongous hills of sand that stretched for miles. We were the newcomers, not nearly as daring (actually, I was terrified) and certainly much older than they.                                     Since Dave’s daughter, Nikki, her husband Dave and the other four families had spent the last 30 Thanksgivings there, they understood the terrain’s difficulties. More than once, they towed less-seasoned campers out of deep trenches of sand.                                     They shared food, tools, and “toys” with each other.  No one complained about the sand that filled their clothes, covered their hair and faces or found its way into their beds.  Our eyes were crusted and our mouths gritty as day after day the sand whirled around us.  Still, everyone loved the adventure enough to ignore this minor annoyance.                   I need to look at all of life with that perspective.  Not surprisingly, this past Sunday Dave and I tried a new church, and the sermon was on the book of Psalms and how the writers of the 150 chapters praised God through the good and the bad.  One strand of hair or sand-matted hair. It mattered not.                                                                Did you know that you can change your life by changing the way you think?  By finding reasons to praise God, for example, we will find the promise in Isaiah 26:3 (NLT): You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, whose thoughts are fixed on you. A mind filled with thoughts fixed on God will produce a heart filled with praise, a powerful tool in our spiritual arsenal as we traverse life’s challenges.                                          Praise brings healing to our spirit. It provides a conduit by which the Father conveys deliverance and blessing. With the Christmas season approaching, let’s all find reason to appreciate the gritty annoyances of life as we invite God to pull us out of our deepest trenches that mire us in stress and anxiety.  He waits to be given the chance.

Keys to the Kingdom By Carolyn Tucker

The Mockingbird is my favorite because of its singing abilities. I sat on the porch one morning and was wonderstruck at the setlist of this amazing bird! I couldn’t count all the different songs he was performing. His breath control was unbelievable, with strong projection and endless variety. He put me to shame with his early-morning enthusiasm. The song “Mockingbird” is one of my favorites from the 70s, written and recorded by singer songwriters James Taylor and Carly Simon, then husband and wife duo.

Poor, poor, pitiful Job was extremely disappointed with his so-called friends who came to comfort him. I don’t know how many days they hung around, but he was fed up with hearing them sing the same ol’ song day after day. He finally said, “I have heard all this before. What miserable comforters you are! Won’t you ever stop blowing hot air? What makes you keep on talking? I could say the same things if you were in my place. I could spout off criticism and shake my head at you. But if it were me, I would encourage you. I would try to take away your grief“ (Job 16:2-5 NLT). Wow, just wow.

I wonder if the statement, “With friends like that, who needs enemies?” originated from the Book of Job. The first seven days and nights, they acted like true friends as they simply sat on the ground with him and didn’t say a word because they knew that his suffering was beyond words. But after waiting a week, Job’s friends began to take turns giving unqualified speeches. They tried to convince Job that he had sinned when, in fact, he was blameless and a man of complete integrity who feared God and stayed away from evil. Nevertheless, the threesome gave the same wrong song-and-dance day after day.

Eliphaz was the first friend to sing his song of criticism to Job. Then the next verse of insults was blasted by Bildad. Last, but not least, chiming in off-key was Zophar with verse three. He basically sings, “You ain’t nothin’ but a windbag, just a cryin’ all the time” (see  Job 15:2 NLT). This torture trio stunk to high heaven and they just kept doing encores without applause. Job was greatly disturbed and annoyed with his friends who didn’t have a clue that they were hurting more than helping. Instead of pouring oil and wine into Job’s wounded body and soul, the three stooges poured salt in it. Job needed encouragement, not an unsolicited theology lesson.

I’ve never had a friend fail to be true blue. My friends have stuck like glue with me through thick and thin and they are blessings straight from God. Reba McEntire recorded a song entitled, “God and My Girlfriends.“ Here’s the refrain: “God and my girlfriends, they’re always there when I’m feeling down, always around, lifting me up. I love how they know me, forgive me, and show me again and again I can depend on God and my girlfriends. Good times and bad, happy or sad, what would I do if I didn‘t have God and my girlfriends.”

As Christ followers, let’s determine to be a faithful friend who sticks close to our friends when they’re hurting. Let’s make double sure we’re singing the right song in the right key in perfect timing. Occasionally, we may not know what song to sing that’s OK. A hug is  never in the wrong key.

The Key: If you’ve been singing the wrong song to your friend, face the music and change your tune.

My friend purchased a luxury car…you know, the kind that costs more for its oil change than my entire vehicle cost.  She had been driving it for a few hours when a cup of coffee warning sign showed up in her dashboard lights.  Alarmed, she pulled off the road to look at her manual.  Apparently, this car was so smart, it alerted the driver to take periodic rests in order to prevent an accident.

God created us with a need to rest. I am married to a man who, unlike me, has no trouble with that four-letter word, “rest.”  If we are leaving the house in ten minutes, he will say, “Patty, I’m going to take a short nap.  Please wake me in five minutes.”  And within thirty seconds, his snoring symphony begins.  Me, on the other hand?  It takes me ten minutes to fluff my pillow and adjust my comforter, figure which side I want to lie on, and try to cease my brain’s frantic activity.

Besides, there are always things to do in those ten minutes: fold the clothes, dry the dishes, make a quick phone call, straighten up my desk, paint a chipped toenail, floss my teeth.  I mean, being busy means I’m being productive, right?  Not according to scripture.  Psalm 23:2 tells me that God leads me beside quiet waters.  Dave understands quiet waters.  I understand living in a barrel in the middle of Niagara Falls.  The psalmist writes his words from the perspective of a shepherd tending his flock of sheep.

A good shepherd recognizes that sheep, as dumb as they are, are not at ease around rushing water.  It’s as if God created them to innately know that the weight of their wool—when wet—will drown them.  The shepherd must lead his sheep beside still waters, to a place of rest.  All the sheep must do is follow.

Author Mary Southerland once blogged about her experience learning the meaning of the word “rest.”  She wrote that she began taking piano lessons at the age of five from an elderly, sweet lady, Mrs. McKenzie.  “Her hair was slightly blue, her house smelled like lemon drops, and she had clocks that chimed and rang every fifteen minutes. I was so excited and so ready to play the piano like my sister who played for our church worship services…”

When Mary climbed atop the piano bench, she was disappointed when her teacher invited her to open the first page.  There were only little, black pictures.  “Where are the songs?” Mary asked.  For what seemed like hours, Mrs. McKenzie pointed to funny-shaped black symbols, naming them and explaining their meaning.

One was called “a rest.”  Mary was frustrated.  “Do you know why rests are so important in music?” her teacher persisted. “The music that comes after the rest is the most beautiful music of all.”                                                                                                                                                   Rest is a powerful part of our life song. Sometimes, it is the most productive thing we can do for our soul.  Just as the rest in music prepares the listener for what comes next, time spent in rest is an invaluable opportunity for preparation and restoration. Yet, we often buy the enemy’s lie that to rest is a waste.

Warren Wiersbe once said, “The ability to calm your soul and wait before God is one of the most difficult things in the Christian life. Our old nature is restless…the world around us is frantically in a hurry. But a restless heart usually leads to a reckless life.”         As we enter the Christmas season, we will be tested to live at a frantic pace.  We will need to choose: reckless or restful.

Keys to the Kingdom

By Carolyn Tucker

Something to Crow About

Why do roosters crow? Well, there’s a variety of reasons, but generally they do their wake-up call just before sunrise because of their God-given instinct to sound their alarm clock. Roosters will also crow whenever they feel like it because crowing is simply their way of expressing themselves. Since they don’t have vocal cords, they can crow all day for no reason at all and not get hoarse or lose their “voice.“ Basically, roosters crow because they can.

During this season of thanksgiving, I am absolutely not going to let a rooster outdo me. I’ve got something to crow about too, and so do all believers. There’s a variety of reasons why we should praise the Lord and thank Him for all He’s done. “Praise the Lord! Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! His faithful love endures forever” (Psalm 106:1 NLT.) When life gets bad, God remains good. And His faithfulness remains great and steadfast even in today’s chaotic world.

It’s right to thank God for material things such as a roof over our head, food on the table, and shoes on our feet. But let’s be sure to thank Him for spiritual things as well: “May you be filled with joy, always thanking the Father. He has enabled you to share in the inheritance that belongs to His people who live in the light. For He has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of His dear Son, Who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins” (Colossians 1:11-14 NLT.)

Andrae Crouch may have captured the grateful heart of every believer when he composed the lyrics and music for ‘My Tribute:’ “How can I say thanks for the things You have done for me — Things so undeserved, yet You give to prove Your love for me? The voices of a million angels could not express my gratitude. All that I am and ever hope to be, I owe it all to Thee.”

In Psalm 116, King David asked the rhetorical question, “What can I offer the Lord for all He has done for me?” His answer was to praise the Lord’s name. Believers can bring praise, honor, and glory to God by representing Him well in everything we say and do. “And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him” (Colossians 3:17 NKJV.) If what we do doesn’t match up with what we say, then we probably shouldn’t crow quite so loud.

Let’s remember to thank and praise God every day, not just at Thanksgiving time. Roosters crow because they can’t help it. (I wonder if anyone has ever tried to muzzle a rooster.) We should praise and thank God because we simply can’t help it. During Jesus’ triumphal entry, some of the Pharisees among the crowd told Him to rebuke His followers for their praises. “But He [Jesus] said, ’If they kept quiet, the stones would do it for them, shouting praise’” (Luke 19:40 MSG.)

God has done so many wonderful things for me, I want to praise and thank Him with all my being.

The Key: I don’t want any roosters or rocks doing my job!

“No one who loves as much gets as little.”

I recently found that scribbled on the bottom of an old newspaper clipping. The words, of course, refer to Jesus, and if Jesus doesn’t get the kind of love he deserves, why do I think that I am entitled to the kind of love that makes me happy?

Last night, some of us married folks were discussing Gary Chapman’s book “The 5 Love Languages” which challenges readers to find out what their mate’s “love language” is.

Dave and I found out early on that we were missing this understanding in our marriage when he asked me if I loved him and I answered that he should know I love him because I make him tacos every single day…even when I am in the mood for a tuna noodle casserole.  I still make tacos.  That should prove I love him.

“I don’t care about food,” he said.  “I eat to live.  What I want is affection.”

Say what?????  Who wants affection over food?  Does that include turtle cheesecake?

Clearly, I had much to learn about my man.

This year, Dave and I celebrated our 51^st wedding anniversary.  If I have learned one thing (other than I needed to be more loving), it is to be thankful for my man.  Occasionally, I write funny stories about Dave and me. (Trust me, most do not get written.) What surprises some of my readers is that Dave typically helps me write them.  I love that (and many other things) about him. Still, ours has not been a perfect marriage, and although we have found humor in many of our disagreements, there have been some tough times.

Many marital situations are not funny.  Arguments. Divorce.  Financial loss.  Death.  Being thankful in the midst of such circumstances—while seeking to find good in difficult people—challenges even the most faithful Christian.

Yesterday, I heard someone say that God never gives us more than we can handle, a quote Christians frequently spout when trying to encourage someone going through a difficult time. Scripture does not say that.

In Dave’s and my case, sometimes our marriage has pushed both of our buttons, the red ones that yell “Stop!” Quitting would be easy, except the Bible says that we are given trials that we might prove faithful, that we might learn perseverance and ultimately, joy. What we do with those trials—as we trust that God is in charge and we aren’t—helps us grow closer to our spouse and to God…and that needs to be our ultimate goal.

As we celebrate Thanksgiving next Thursday, let us not forget to be thankful for our families, to pray for them daily and to recognize that God can use our differences to draw us closer to Him.  For me, the thought of a Thanksgiving turkey over tacos makes me grateful, even if it is just once a year.

Keys to the Kingdom By Carolyn Tucker

Slap Somebody

The longer I live, the more opportunities I have to interact with people. The family and friends I’ve grown up with are on my “warm and fuzzy forever list” in my heart. And I’m happy to say I’ve continued to add new people to that list. God knows how to bring good people into my life to be a blessing to me and, hopefully, I can be a blessing to them. It’s a win-win and I need and love that interaction. Individuals who come along side me, slap me on the back and say encouraging words are a gift straight from God.

I’d like to slap my readers on the back and offer some encouragement for those who suffer from having trouble forgiving themselves. Please remember that no one is perfect — with a good heart and our best intentions we all have faults, failures, and shortcomings. (I’m not talking about sin, which is practicing a transgression knowing it’s against God’s Word.) I’m referring to decisions and actions that were less than perfect in retrospect, but actually the best that could be done at the time. Focusing on our failures opens the door to regret, and that’s a dangerous life-sucking emotion to allow into our heart and mind. Yesterday, and what we did or didn’t do, is gone. It does no good to replay it in our mind.

Apostle Paul wrote to encourage the Church in Philippi, “I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead…” (Philippians 3:13 NLT). If any Christ follower had something to regret and stew over, it was Paul. He hunted down, persecuted, jailed, and stoned Christians to death. But Jesus loved him, had a specific mission for him, and turned him around 180 degrees. If Paul could successfully overcome his past, we can too. We have the same liberating grace and perseverance available to us as Paul. God hasn‘t changed; what He says we can have we can surely obtain.

Hopefully, most Christ followers have no trouble forgiving others, but many have trouble forgiving themselves. Honestly, Jesus’ command to forgive one another would include yourself. Make the quality decision to forgive yourself and then let it go. You should slap yourself on the back and say, “I did the best I could at the time,” and don’t look back. I have a retired Navy pilot friend who says, “The runway behind you ain’t no good.” Stop letting the devil slap you around in your mind and emotions. We all know that he whispers lies because he’s the Granddaddy Liar (ref. John 8:44).

As believers, we aren’t supposed to be just barely hanging on by the hair of our chinny chin chin until we get to go to heaven. The abundant life Jesus talks about in John 10:10 is referring to how we live on earth now. Don’t let the disappointments of your past poison your today. Since God forgives and forgets our sins, we can surely forgive and move past our failures. We must partner with God’s plan, not Satan’s miserable plan. The devil is good at what he does because he’s had a lot of practice at ruination. But Jesus has the antidote for regret and it’s called restoration. “He restoreth my soul” (Psalm 23:3). That’s a promise you can take to the bank. I know firsthand.

Consider yourself hugged, loved, and slapped. Now get back to living the abundant life and look for people you can slap on the back and verbally encourage. They need you!

The Key: I’d rather slap someone on the back than their face.

Keys to the Kingdom By Carolyn Tucker

The Ruptured Duck

Several years ago (when Dad was still alive) I was looking through his World War II citations and decorations as he explained what each one represented. I respectfully picked up the Bronze Star which was still nestled in its original box. He had previously told me that a total of 400 infantrymen were to secure the village of Morhausen, Germany. Unfortunately, the other company of 200 that was to enter from the opposite side never made their objective. The village was full of Hitler’s SS troopers. Out of the 200 U.S. soldiers engaged in this horrific battle, 183 were either killed or wounded. My dad was never wounded in the war. After telling me this detailed incident of earning his Bronze Star, he walked out of the room and bawled like a baby.

My brother and I were very proud of our father’s military heroics. I appreciate the booklet  Randy wrote entitled, “Step by Step in Patton’s Third Army,” which was Dad’s personal account of his service during World War II. While writing this column, I fought back tears as I fingered through all his military insignia, and studied the U.S. Army Combat Infantryman Badge in my hands. This was awarded to Dad for performing duties under fire and engaging in active ground combat in the 90^th Infantry Division. I can still hear Dad explain, “Nobody got one of these unless he’d fought on the front lines.”

“Carry on” is a military command that means to continue with what you were doing. It  describes someone who continues with his/her assignment despite difficulties. I think Christ followers should adopt this terminology as well. No matter what is going on in the family, at work, church, our Nation, or the world, we must persevere in the face of obstacles. God will reward us for carrying on and being faithful. When my dad died, I was heartbroken and took it very hard. During that season of sorrow, I was reminded of his two beautiful Army pins that read “Carry On.”  Those two little words encouraged me to pull myself up by my bootstraps and carry on with life. Of course, I couldn’t have done that without God’s strength and grace. “If my heart is broken, I’ll find God right there; if I’m kicked in the gut, He’ll help me catch my breath” (Psalm 34:18 MSG.)

Dad’s Honorable Discharge pin displays our national eagle inside a wreath. A lot of the service men, including my dad, referred to it as the Ruptured Duck. Many WWII vets wore this pin on their civilian lapels for years after the war’s end as proof of their service.  While writing this column, I also found a piece of “sweetheart jewelry.” Mom wore a smaller and delicate USA Army Staff Sergeant pin to show that her young 21-year-old husband was currently in the military (1944 to 1946.) This was considered a fashionable and personal way to support the war effort during that era.

I love, appreciate, and honor our U.S. military heroes. When I salute our United States flag, I proudly think of all our past and current brave men and women who put their lives on the line for our freedom. They deserve our deepest gratitude and utmost support. They carry on, no matter what. Retreat or surrender was simply not in General Patton’s vocabulary. When life turns into a hot battle, the enemy (Satan) will try to convince you to wave a white flag. Don’t do it — just carry on! “If your faith remains strong, even while surrounded by life’s difficulties, you will continue to experience the untold blessings of God! True happiness comes as you pass the test with faith, and receive the victorious crown of life promised to every lover of God! (James 1:12 TPT.)

The Key: If you want that Ruptured Duck (crown of life), you gotta  “carry on.“

Last week, I wrote about my friend who was having a double mastectomy.   Her surgery was complicated because she had zero body fat needed to reconstruct her breasts.  When I told Dave, his response did not surprise me.  “Did you tell her that you—I mean we—could donate some of ours?”  After sharing that with my friend, we both cracked up (she more than I).

My friend is now home from the hospital.  We spoke yesterday.  The evening before, it hit her: part of her womanhood was permanently gone. Sitting on the edge of her bed, she teared up but then felt a nudge to turn on her television.  There was Nick Vujicic, the evangelist born with no legs or arms, speaking about how God had used his disability to give people encouragement.  She knew that God had offered her that nudging so she would refuse to feel sorry for herself.

The pity pot can be such a cushy place to stay, can’t it?  When life is all about me, it can become my frequent resting spot.  But what would life look like if I chose, instead, to find my comfort in Jesus’ loving arms? I would no longer dwell on how my troubles seem to outweigh God’s ability to make things better and would focus on Romans 8:28 which reminds us that all things work together for good “for those that love the Lord” and are called according to His purpose.

“For those that love the Lord.”  What does that kind of love entail?

The Bible gives us a great example of Joseph who, though experiencing serious injustices, loved the Lord and refused to live with a victim mentality.  Genesis 37:12-28 tells us that his jealous brothers threw him into a pit and then sold him to Egyptian slave traders who sold him to Potiphar, Pharoah’s captain of the guard.

Potiphar favored Joseph and put him in charge of his household…until, that is, Potiphar’s wife falsely accused Joseph of assaulting her and he was thrown in prison.  Once released (over a decade later), Pharoah put Joseph in charge of the whole land of Egypt.  From the pit to the palace.

You see, Joseph never suffered from self-pity.  He always trusted that God would make something good out of something bad, and he was right.  God wants to do the same for us.  We never should get comfortable on the pity pot, an oppressive trap of the enemy. Matthew 5:14-16 tells us why.  You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.                                                                                                                               

Staying on the pity pot will keep us immobile.  Joyless.  Stuck on our wants.  Unable to forgive and move on.  Bitter.  Selfish.  And in a very, very dark place.  If we want our light seen by others, we, like Joseph, must decide where it can shine best.

Keys to the Kingdom By Carolyn Tucker

Right in the Middle

First thing in the morning, quite often I will step out onto the front porch to scrutinize the weather. One morning I was amazed to witness dark clouds to the west, thunder in the north, pleasant skies to the south, and sunshine to the east. It was a very mixed bag of elements. And where was I? Right in the middle of it. This scenario reminded me of life  because some days are happy-go-lucky and some are tempestuous with no storm warning.

On stormy days or seasons, I must remember Psalm 68:5 which I have paraphrased on an   index card that sits on my computer: “God is a father to the fatherless and a protector of the widow.” Interestingly, I am both fatherless and a widow. But I’m also rich according to God‘s heavenly storehouse. One definition of rich is: plentiful; a full supply; abundant provision. Apostle Paul wrote to the Church in Philippi and reminded them, “But my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19 KJV).

Christ followers are rich in our heavenly Father’s love. We’re rich in His mercies every morning. We’re rich in His forgiveness. We’re rich in His protection. We’re rich in His peace, and the list could go on. As the Almighty Everlasting Father, God supplies us with whatever we need in every aspect. When children need something, all they have to do is ask their parents for it. When (not if) we have a stormy day with desperate needs, we too are to ask our Father and then, “Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act“ (Psalm 37:7 NLT).

On one of my darkest days a few years ago, I placed a magnet on my refrigerator that read, “Even when you don’t see it, God is working things out for your good.“ That statement based on Romans 8:28 gave me hope that the present storm would eventually end. Not every storm that hits is in the forecast, so the magnet remains in plain sight to encourage me whenever I find myself in the middle of another storm. From his own experience, King David wrote, “God’s glory is all around me! His wrap-around presence is all I need, for the Lord is my Savior, my hero, and my life-giving strength. Join me, everyone! Trust only in God every moment. Tell Him all your troubles and pour out your heart-longings to Him. Believe me when I tell you — He will help you!” (Psalm 62:7,8 TPT). As Bro. Smith, my childhood pastor, would say, “God is still on the throne.”

If we believers could really grasp the truth that there’s no risk of failure with God, we wouldn’t let worry and anxiety paralyze us when the storms of life hit us square in the face. We don’t like the painful experience, but our faith grows during the roughest times in our life. I want to be like King David and have a bold, unshakeable, triumphant faith that doesn’t tear to shreds when the stormwinds blow.

Let these scriptures settle your soul and give you peace: “I will greatly protect you. I will set you in a high place, safe and secure before My face. I will answer your cry for help every time you pray, and you will find and feel My presence even in your time of pressure and trouble” (Psalm 91:14-15 TPT).

The Key: Where is Jesus when the storms of life hit? Right in the middle with us.