Within a split second, I could have become a statistic when I came close to being run over by a speeding car. Dave and I were biking on a two-lane street, and the only reason I wasn’t turned into road-kill was that the female driver swerved into the far lane.  The only reason she wasn’t killed was that no one was in that lane.

It was my fault.  I pulled out of a side street, and instead of making a sharp right turn to stay on the edge of the road, I pedaled out too far in the direction of the car.  You know, the car with the driver with the right-of-way. The driver who fortunately was not texting or applying lipstick or smacking her kids in the back seat. The driver who was alert and paying attention.  Unlike me.

Dave was supportive.

“What in the world were you thinking?”

“Obviously I wasn’t.”

“Why didn’t you use your brakes?”

“Because I panicked.”

“Obviously.”

Sometimes, being alert is hard.  I’ve left my credit card, my favorite jacket, and even my kids when I failed to take care of what was important. But there is a day coming when staying alert will determine where we spend eternity, which, in my case, could have come from not paying attention while riding my bike.

In 2 Timothy 3:1-5 (NIV) we are warned.  “But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.”

Noah’s neighbors certainly were not alert when God warned that the flood was coming.  Only eight people believed and were saved. Lot warned his family that the city was about to be destroyed, but they did not listen.  Starting in Genesis, all the way through Revelation, we are bombarded with stories of individuals with their heads in the figurative sand.  Perhaps that description is fitting for us as well.

Hebrews 2:1 does not mince words. “Therefore, we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard, lest we drift away from it.” Jesus voiced the same priority: “Pay careful attention to how you listen” (Luke 8:18). Careful listening (staying alert) is the first step to faithful living.  It’s the difference between listening to a Bible app while also posting family pics on our Facebook account and giving God undivided attention to what He says.

Matthew 24 reminds us that being alert is critical. He warns his followers to remain steadfast and not be led astray by false teachings or distractions from the world. The command to “be ready” is not merely about anticipating His return but also about living a life that reflects His teachings and values—loving others, seeking justice, and maintaining a personal relationship with God.

“So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.” Jesus emphasized that His return—for us—will be sudden and unexpected. This calls for believers to cultivate a lifestyle of preparedness.

You know, exactly what I did not do on that bike ride.

Keys to the Kingdom

By Carolyn Tucker

At least I didn’t say it out loud

When I have a not-nice thought, but don’t say it out loud, I’m always thankful I zipped my lip. Examples of some of my unkind thoughts are: “Did you not look in the mirror before you left the house?” “Just because a fashion model can wear that doesn’t mean you can.” “Where do these people come from?” “How dumb can you be?” And last, but not least, “Could you drive any slower?” (I actually say that one out loud.) I’m not proud of these negative heart thoughts, nevertheless, they pop up every now and then.

It’s been said that you can’t keep a bird from flying over your head, but you can sure keep it from building a nest in your hair. That’s the way mean thoughts tend to be. They come from out of nowhere (usually after something annoys the tar out of you). Christ followers have to immediately switch these thoughts to the positive. During WWII, Bing Crosby and the Andrew Sisters popularized the song, “Accentuate the Positive.” The lyrics set to this big band sound are still good advice.

We need to be more aware of the fact that Jesus knows our thoughts…which should make us think twice about some of the thoughts we have. “Knowing their [Pharisees] thoughts, Jesus said, ‘Why do you entertain evil thoughts in your hearts?’” (Matthew 9:4 NIV). Jesus let them know that He knew their thoughts – you’d think they’d have enough sense to be embarrassed rather than argumentative. So when thoughts are “entertained” it means they’re not just fleeting ones. One of the best tips to eliminate negative thoughts is to say to ourselves, “It’s none of my business. Let it go.”

“Then His disciples began arguing about which of them was the greatest. But Jesus knew their thoughts, so He brought a little child to His side. Then He said to them, ‘Anyone who welcomes a little child like this on My behalf welcomes Me…Whoever is the least among you is the greatest’” (Luke 9:46-48 NLT). It’s hard to imagine that Jesus’ disciples actually argued in front of Him regarding which one of them was the greatest! This squabble was definitely an unChristlike spirit. How dumb could they be? Jesus rebuked them and explained that true greatness is seen in humble service. I suspect they changed their way of thinking after their scramble for first place was an embarrassing fail.

“Jesus knew what they were thinking and said, ‘Any country in civil war for very long is wasted. A constantly squabbling family falls to pieces’” (Luke 11:17 MSG). Unity in a family is vital and unforgiveness is a destroyer of solidarity. In order to keep the family together, we have to think on the good attributes of one another and not the negative.

There’s just no way to argue that Jesus doesn’t know our thoughts. But, Apostle Paul gives great advice in Philippians 4:8 NLT regarding how Christ followers should think:  “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” 

The Key: Believers need to think about what we’re thinking about and fix our thoughts  to accentuate the positive.

When Montana, my granddaughter, called to say that she and her fiancé, Ian, had set their wedding date, I was excited to put it on my calendar.  “February 3, 2026,” she announced.  Surely my calendar was wrong…or Montana was mistaken.

“Mo, that’s a Tuesday.”

“I know,” she declared, excitedly.

“Is this a destination wedding?” I questioned.

“No, Grandma, we’re getting married in Fort Scott…at my parent’s house.”

“Well then, where will the reception be?” I pressed.  Mo had it all figured out.  “It will be an outdoor wedding, and the reception will be inside their house.”  This was not my business to question.  Still, I questioned. “Mo, do you know what Kansas weather is like in February, not to mention, Tuesdays are in the middle of the week?”

“I know.”

“Then why did you choose that day?”

“Because God gave me that date.”

There was only one thing I could say: “Well, then, February 3 it is.”  As I later found out, that date, years before, had been one in which Mo made a heart-change to follow the Lord and trust that His ways are far higher than ours could ever be.  The wedding was a testimony to that.

Mo and Ian chose several “unusual” things for their big day (like a Ding-Dong wedding cake and a stadium hot-dog bar), not the least of which was to have actual church pews for the guests.  I mean, it’s not like church pews are available at Walmart, and no church that I know of would be amenable to loaning theirs out for an outdoor wedding.  Especially a February wedding.  But that’s where God did what only God can do.

As it turned out, someone had donated dozens of antique, wooden church pews to the nuns who live in Fort Scott.  The pews were in a semi-truck, waiting for volunteers to sand and stain them.  And that’s where Mo’s family and friends offered to help.  Weeks of work went into preparing the pews for the wedding ceremony, definitely a blessing to Mo and Ian, but God had plans much grander than the February 3 event.

The week before the wedding, the snow, wind and freezing temperatures caused schools and businesses to close. If this weather continued, how would we survive an outdoor wedding?  I envisioned wedding photos with icicles hanging from our nose hairs and updo’s ruined by earmuffs.  How could antique, wooden church pews endure freezing rain?

And then came Tuesday.  Bright, sunny skies.  Temperature in the mid-40’s.  No wind.

But the bigger blessing came after the wedding when volunteers from the Catholic Church delivered the slightly-used pews to the nuns who now would have beautiful, refinished pews for a lifetime.  It should come as no surprise that the One who orchestrates things like temperatures can turn a blessing for an hour into a blessing for a lifetime.  What a God we serve!

Keys to the Kingdom
By Carolyn Tucker

Let ‘Em Have It

Hallie was my coworker/friend and I miss her. We worked together for seven years in the 1980s, so we came to know each other quite well. As time marched on, she spent her last days in a local healthcare facility. She was still sharp as a tack and when I walked through the door of her private room, she would enthusiastically greet me and immediately pay me a compliment on my attire or jewelry. Although my visits were to brighten her day, she made my day sweeter because she had mastered the art of heartfelt conversation by speaking forth good words.

Believers should do our best to live according to this scripture: “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it” (Proverbs 3:27 NASB). Our faith is openly displayed in how we conduct our daily walk with God — which transfers into our relationships with people. If we truly revere God and practice His ways then we’ll want to treat our fellowman with kindness and goodness. It is no secret that it’s within our power to make or break someone’s day. Our attitude and words truly reach out and touch people, whether for good or bad.

We mustn’t withhold good from people when it’s within our power to do it. If an individual has done agood job, etc., then we should “let ’em have it” with positive words in a genuine compliment. If a friend is down in the dumps, we have the golden opportunity to cheer him/her up. So, “let ’em have it” with both barrels! Do you realize that people can often be cheered up with just an ice cream cone and friendly conversation? (I’m referring to bummer situations, not serious ones.)

As a rhetorical question, what does it mean to be a Christ follower? It seems that many Christians make it complicated. “You know of Jesus of Nazareth, how God anointed Him with the Holy Spirit and with power, and how He went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with Him” (Acts 10:38 NASB). We used to sing a chorus entitled, “Your Love Compels Me.” The lyrics, written by Doug Holck, are simple: “Your love compels me, Lord, to give as You would give. To speak as You would speak, to live as You would live. Your love compels me, Lord, to see as You would see. To serve as You would serve, to be what You would be.“ This is uncomplicated theology, and a great place to start if you want to be like Jesus and go about your everyday life speaking good and doing good.

You’ll never go wrong by doing what’s right in God’s sight. “What is desirable in a person is his kindness” (Proverbs 19:22 NASB). We can have the whole world by the tail, but if we don’t give a hoot
about people, we’ve missed the mark of Christianity. Believers are known by our love for one another. That’s it — nothing more and nothing less. So don’t hold back from being good to people when you have the opportunity.

The Key: Be a do-gooder and “let someone have it“ with a genuine compliment…and an ice cream cone.
(Make mine chocolate.)

“For better or worse…”  The beaming bride and groom mimic the pastor’s words, vowing that no matter what happens, they are in this marriage thing until they drop. But what happens when, to their surprise, the spouse turns out not to be the kind, gentle, admiring soul he/she pretends to be?  What happens when that person is a narcissist?

Mayo Clinic defines the disease well: “a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism.”

Sounds like the “worse” part of the marital contract to me.

Mayo continues. “People with a narcissistic personality disorder may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they’re not given the special favors they believe they deserve.” Most narcissists wear one personality in public, another in private.

They are jealous, master manipulators.  The “love-bombing” they demonstrated when dating looks nothing like the actual mental illness they now demonstrate.

The Zoom Bible study I am in is reading Dr. Henry Cloud’s book, Why I Believe.  The renowned psychologist writes about a flight he was on in which he sat next to a young woman who asked what he did for a living.  When he told her, she shared the saga of her umpteenth breakup with her boyfriend, saying that his anger issues came between them as he repeatedly controlled/manipulated her when she behaved in a way he disapproved.

She explained.  “I can calm him down by agreeing with him, but I can’t always just give in.  I feel like I am losing myself.  So, we break up and then I go back.”  Cloud then replied, “There is an old saying: ‘If you rescue an angry man, you will only have to do it again.’”  She asked where he heard that quote.  “The Bible,” he answered.  “Proverbs 19:19. You should read it sometime.  There is good stuff in there.”

“I never knew that was in the Bible!” she said.

Cloud replied, “Yeah,” I know, I didn’t either, until I started to really read it.”  The author addresses narcissism in his book and shares that he finds the most effective psychology rooted in Scripture.  “Boundaries and limits to destructive behavior are taught throughout the Bible, and regaining control for oneself is a chief tenet.”

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to this topic, narcissism, and I wonder if we all don’t have a little of this disease in us. We sort of like things to go our way, don’t we?  At least I do, like when instead of marriage being a walk in the park, it’s more like a 100-mile marathon in 100-degree weather in the hills of Arkansas. Instead of looking at our disagreement from Dave’s perspective, my vision is blinded by my wants, my desires.

I am grateful that for almost 53 years, we have weathered those marathons and have learned to work to seek good in each other.  For Dave, that’s easy.  (Riiiight!)

So, what’s a victim to do?  Pray.  A lot.  Especially before they take those vows.

Keys to the Kingdom

By Carolyn Tucker

Dumbest Question Ever

The last time I was at an out-of-town doctor’s office, I asked an honest dumb question.  I’d already been to this medical clinic twice, so when I arrived for the third appointment the receptionist handed me the iPad so I could check myself in. I know the drill, but I asked, “Do I have to do this? I was here four weeks ago and nothing has changed.” She replied, “Yes. That’s the only way we can check you in.” I wasn’t having especially happy thoughts as I sat there wasting my time answering the same questions with the same answers as last time. In retrospect, here’s a brilliant question: Why can’t the check-in process be two simple questions: “Are you here?” “Has your personal information changed?”

Here’s the backstory to James and John’s dumb question: “As the time drew near for Him to ascend to heaven, Jesus resolutely set out for Jerusalem. He sent messengers ahead to a Samaritan village to prepare for His arrival. But the people of the village did not welcome Jesus because He was on His way to Jerusalem. When James and John saw this, they said to Jesus, ‘Lord, should we call down fire from heaven to burn them up?’ But Jesus turned and rebuked them. So they went on to another village” (Luke 9:51-56 NLT). Obviously, James and John utterly misunderstood their Master and His mission.

I doubt that Jesus was shocked when these two disciples asked if they could burn the Samaritans to a crisp because they rejected Him. For Jesus had previously nicknamed them the “Sons of Thunder.” Perhaps James and John thought that calling down fire would demonstrate their zeal, love, and loyalty to Jesus. But Jesus let them know that they were to have a different spirit. They were to practice love, mercy, forgiveness, and forbearance. Burning up people was not on Jesus’ to-do-list. He didn’t come to destroy sinners but to give them the gospel and an opportunity to repent.

Jesus knew James and John’s fiery dispositions when He called them to be His disciples. But they had to learn the right way to use their enthusiasm properly and in the Spirit of Christ. They needed to use it against Satan and evil, not to destroy the very ones Jesus came to redeem and save.

After such an outrageous question from the brothers, Jesus may have rolled His eyes, shook His head, and sighed. We know they were reprimanded for their hateful attitude and proposal of revenge. After being with Jesus for years, shouldn’t they have known they were asking a dumb question? No matter, He didn’t miss the opportunity to teach the  boys of thunder that following Him meant they were to live a life of compassion.

Jesus’ deep empathy and love for humanity is beautifully illustrated throughout the four gospels. “But when He [Jesus] saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd” (Matthew 9:36 NKJV). Jesus still has compassion for all the lost and hurting people who will welcome Him into their life. Now we, as Christ followers, are to do the same.

 The Key: Stop asking dumb questions and start showing some compassion.

Several months ago, I wrote about my friend who was having a double mastectomy. Her surgery was complicated because she had zero body fat needed to reconstruct her breasts. When I told Dave, his response did not surprise me. “Did you tell her that you—I mean we—could donate some of ours?” After sharing that with my friend, we both cracked up (she more than I).

My friend is now home from the hospital. We spoke yesterday. The evening before, it hit her: part of her womanhood was permanently gone. Sitting on the edge of her bed, she teared up but then felt a nudge to turn on her television. There was Nick Vujicic, the evangelist born with no legs or arms, speaking about how God had used his disability to give people encouragement. She knew that God had offered her that nudging so she would refuse to feel sorry for herself.

The pity pot can be such a cushy place to stay, can’t it? When life is all about me, it can become my frequent resting spot. But what would life look like if I chose, instead, to find my comfort in Jesus’ loving arms? I would no longer dwell on how my troubles seem to outweigh God’s ability to make things better and would focus on Romans 8:28 which reminds us that all things work together for good “for those that love the Lord” and are called according to His purpose.

“For those that love the Lord.” What does that kind of love entail?

The Bible gives us a great example of Joseph who, though experiencing serious injustices, loved the Lord and refused to live with a victim mentality. Genesis 37:12-28 tells us that his jealous brothers threw him into a pit and then sold him to Egyptian slave traders who sold him to Potiphar, Pharoah’s captain of the guard.

Potiphar favored Joseph and put him in charge of his household…until, that is, Potiphar’s wife falsely accused Joseph of assaulting her and he was thrown in prison. Once released (over a decade later), Pharoah put Joseph in charge of the whole land of Egypt. From the pit to the palace.

You see, Joseph never suffered from self-pity. He always trusted that God would make something good out of something bad, and he was right. God wants to do the same for us. We never should get comfortable on the pity pot, an oppressive trap of the enemy. Matthew 5:14-16 tells us why. You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.

Staying on the pity pot will keep us immobile. Joyless. Stuck on our wants. Unable to forgive and move on. Bitter. Selfish. And in a very, very dark place. If we want our light seen by others, we, like Joseph, must decide where it can shine best.