Hurtling Towards The Cliff

We’re at a precarious crossroads here in Bourbon County, and if the public doesn’t start getting involved and speaking out, various internal battles that have been brewing behind the scenes for years threaten to boil over and turn our County into a permanent laughingstock. As such, despite thoroughly enjoying my vacation from local politics, I read an abbreviated version of the letter below during Public Comments at tonight’s County Commission meeting, fittingly right after a heated battle over who should control the landfill:

The last time I sat at this table was the first meeting of the new Commission, and that night I felt something I had not felt in a long time – hope.  Hope that the toxicity that has plagued this County for years was over. Hope that, to be blunt, the dumpster fire our county had become was finally extinguished.  I come before you tonight with a heavy heart, as it has become clear to me that that fire rages on, and that without fast intervention, the sickness that fuels that fire is going to turn this county into a place no one with any sense will want to serve, work for, or live in.

That sickness has a name, and that name is  “grievance mentality”.  Google defines grievance mentality as “a pattern of behavior where individuals persistently perceive themselves as unfairly treated, unjustly wronged, or as victims of external forces”.

Just over 20 years ago I first entered the world of local politics, and I watched up close as a man I worked with, a man who was a good and decent person, was eaten alive from the inside out by grievance mentality.  With his grievance mentality came paranoia, an inflated sense of entitlement, and an insatiable desire to control EVERYTHING.  By allowing this to fester, this man made not only himself miserable, but just about everyone around him.

20 years later, history is repeating in front of my eyes, only this time it’s not just one person I care about being consumed by this sickness, but many, and it’s not just affecting one city, but the entire county.  I truly believe every controversy that has popped up since January in Bourbon County, from shock resignations to legal controversies to battles over who controls the landfill, can be traced back to grievance mentality.

A lot of people have questioned why Commissioner Kruger resigned so quickly.  I don’t want to speak for him, but I will say this: I believe Leroy felt caught in the crossfire of the endless civil wars within this Courthouse, wars between the Clerk and IT offices and the Sheriff’s department, wars between factions within the Public Works Department, and I’m sure others I’m not even aware of.  Basically, there are more offices fighting each other than not within our Courthouse walls, and it’s been that way for a long time.  I believe Leroy felt like an island unto himself at this table, like he was the only one here who wasn’t trying to serve one side of these wars or the other, and I hate to say it, but I don’t think he was wrong.  These things are easy to get sucked into for the uninitiated – grievance mentality also tends to breed manipulation. I would also like to note that I don’t operate on hearsay – as a courtesy, I sent Leroy this portion of my comments this past weekend, and he had no issue with me making them.

Prior to the Special Convention to replace Commissioner Kruger, I met with both Dillon Duffy and Mika Milburn to encourage them but also to warn them about the giant toxic mess they were walking into.  I told them about the internal wars being waged, and that if they were chosen, they would likely end up feeling just as isolated as Leroy did, but that I believed help would arrive this coming January.  To their credit, this didn’t deter either of them.  Flash forward to this past Friday morning when I received an unexpected phone call from an audibly frustrated Commissioner Milburn.  Her message was short and to the point:  “Nick, you were right.”.  That phone call ate at me all day, as it had the same tone and tenor as phone calls I used to receive from Commissioner Kruger.  Guys, I hate doing this, I hate public speaking, and I hate that by speaking out, I will likely get several people I consider friends mad at me.   But what I hate even more is that every time I encourage good people like Leroy, Dillon, and Mika to serve this County, it turns out that what I’m REALLY asking them to do is jump headfirst into a spirit crushing, toxic meat grinder.  That has to stop, and stop now.

Now I don’t want to discount the fact that there were many very legitimate grievances made against each and every one of these warring departments by some of the previous occupants of this table, and I have no doubt those previous occupants enjoyed playing each side against the other.  But those occupants are gone now, and just because a grievance is legitimate, that doesn’t mean it’s healthy to hold on to.  It’s past time for everyone in this County to put the past in the past, put down their swords, their paranoia, their sense of entitlement, and their need to control, and bury the hatchet.  If they don’t, grievance mentality will eat both them and this entire County alive from the inside out like a cancer.

In closing, I want to end on a hopeful note.  I haven’t spoken to the man I mentioned earlier in 18 years, and quite honestly I’m not sure he would want to speak to me, but out of curiosity, I’ve followed his career in the time since. By letting go of grievance mentality and moving on from here, he thrived, having a lengthy tenure in Ottawa, and retiring just last year after a well received stint as the Interim City Manager of Topeka.  He finished strong, and left a legacy to be proud of.  I know many in our County government plan to retire from public service in the next few years, and I would encourage them to do the same – don’t let grievance mentality define your legacy here.  Finish strong.

Nick Graham, Uniontown, KS

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