A Loss without a Card

I am talking about ambiguous loss which is often unclear and without closure.

This type of loss is a common part of life but is often the most difficult and stressful one to deal with.  I recently learned more about it while viewing a webinar by Dr. Michelle Krehbiel with the University of Nebraska who also refers to University of Minnesota Extension’s A Changing Way of Life:  Ambiguous Loss and Farming and Dr. Pauline Boss’s research.

 

So, what is ambiguous loss?  It is a loss that is confusing, uncertain, unverified, and can go and on.  It can be a physical loss such as a missing person or having to downsize the farm due to drought or disaster.  It can also be psychological such as a loss of a loved as you knew him/her due to dementia or of your own identity due to being newly retired.

 

We’ve all dealt with something that did not have an official ritual to show that a loss occurred such as:  divorce, miscarriage, a financial fall out, addiction, infertility, deployment, immigration, retirement, traumatic brain injury, or a natural disaster.  What do we do to not get stuck in this complicated grief?  In short, build resilience to lower the stress and anxiety caused by this loss and create a new narrative that one can live with.  Here’s a few ways to work towards moving forward.

 

1. Name what you are going through

Acknowledge that you have had a loss and name the feelings you are going through.  Also do this with other family/friends that are affected.

2. Make new meaning of the loss

There is no magic recipe that can do this, it will take time and a combination of answers to assist.  However, reconstructing your identity within this loss may help.  For example, if you struggle with retirement, you may embrace that you are now a full-time grandpa and volunteer.

3. Normalize Ambivalence

Work towards ‘both and thinking’.  It’s ok to have two opposing ideas in your mind at the same time. For example, he is both gone and may return (missing in action soldier); she is both gone and still here (dementia).

4. Discover Hope

We know this is extremely important in suicide prevention.  Hope may look different for you amidst loss but look for ways to discover it.

5. Seek information and humor

If it’s an illness learn more about what you can do, become an advocate.  When dementia gets particularly trying keep that sense of humor or it truly would be overwhelmingly sad.

6. Engage in Self Care

Dr. Pauline Boss states that respite is essential and no one should feel guilty about taking it.  Figure out what it means to you and make time for it!

7. Evaluate and Build a Circle of Support

Sadness is often treated with human connection.  Find, engage, and check in on your ‘community’.  This could be faith based, friends/family, mental health, or support groups.

I hope to acknowledge my own and others’ ambiguous losses more adequately.  We can all work together for better.  For more information, contact Tara Solomon-Smith, [email protected], or by calling 620-244-3826.

 

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Kansas State University Agricultural Experiment Station and Cooperative Extension Service

K-State Research and Extension is an equal opportunity provider and employer. Issued in furtherance of Cooperative Extension work, acts of May 8 and June 30, 1914, in cooperation with the U.S. Department of Agriculture, Director of K-State Research and Extension, Kansas State University, County Extension Councils, Extension Districts.

 

The recent stormy weather in southeast Kansas has left some without power for several days this month. In addition to losing power, this meant that some also lost food when their perishable food was not able to be refrigerated properly. So, how can you prepare to keep food safe during the next storm? Check out these tips from FoodSafety.gov:

• Put an appliance thermometer in your refrigerator and in your freezer. The temperature in your refrigerator should be 40°F or below and the temperature in your freezer should be 0°F or below. In the case of a future power outage, these thermometers will help you figure out if the food in your refrigerator and freezer is safe.
• If the power does go out, try to keep your refrigerator and freezer doors closed. If unopened, a refrigerator will keep food safe for four hours. A full freezer will maintain its temperature for 48 hours (or 24 hours if it is half full).
• Once the power is back on, check the temperature on the appliance thermometers in your refrigerator and freezer to see if the food was kept at a safe temperature. Perishable foods which were not kept at a safe temperature should be thrown away. Never taste food to test if it is safe. When in doubt, throw it out!

 

To learn more about keeping food safe before, during, and after emergencies, visit bit.ly/preparingforthestorm. Please contact me with questions at [email protected] or 620-365-2242.

 

Kansas State University Agricultural Experiment Station and Cooperative Extension Service

K-State Research and Extension is an equal opportunity provider and

 

Being outside during the summertime can feel like a constant battle against nature and all the creepy crawly things. Mosquitos, ticks, and chiggers are some of the hardest pests to fight during this time of year.

A recent wild blackberry picking excursion left me covered in chigger bites and desperate for a solution to the uncontrollable urge to scratch. After doing some research, I found the following information from Mississippi State University Extension.

Chiggers, also called redbugs, have lots of myths surrounding them and how to go about treating their bites. These tiny bugs crawl up to the highest point on a plant and wait for an animal or person to walk by. When they fall onto a person, they typically land on shoes or lower pantlegs and begin to crawl up the body looking for a place to bite. Their ideal feeding grounds are on thin skin, which is why children and women make the perfect targets. They go for soft, light, and moist areas of the body where sun and weather haven’t made the skin tough and dry.

Contrary to what many think, they do not burrow into the skin. Instead, they attach at the base of a hair follicle and inject digestive fluid into the skin. The fluid dissolves skin cells, chemically boring a hole into the skin. Our bodies’ reaction to the saliva and digestive enzymes is to blame for the incessant urge to scratch.

Another common myth about treatment is how to “dry them out”. The best solution to fight these pesky bugs and the reactions they cause is to bathe in hot, soapy water as soon as you can. Many do not notice bites immediately after being outside as they can take a while to settle down and attach. So even if you think you don’t have any or only notice a spot or two, you can prevent a full feast by washing them away quickly. If left alone, chiggers can continue to eat for several days. To help combat the itching sensation, treat bites with calamine lotion or an antihistamine cream, or oral medication. Avoid harsh substances like nail polish or bleach as those can cause further irritation to the skin. If the bites are severe enough, physicians can prescribe anti-itch creams.

Chiggers do not carry diseases like ticks do. They are just incredibly annoying. Any infection that arises from chigger bites is likely due to excessive scratching, so it’s important to fight the urge to scratch. Children are more prone to scratching so clip fingernails to a short length, repeatedly apply calamine lotion, and use antihistamines suitable for their age to help them heal more quickly.

To help reduce the likelihood of running into them, avoid tall grassy and brushy areas. If that’s not possible, wear long pants, boots, and a lightweight long-sleeved shirt. Tuck pant legs into tall socks and apply a permethrin-based insect repellent to clothing – not directly to your skin.

Had I known all this before my recent berry-picking experience, I would have taken some precautions and probably prevented some discomfort. For more information, contact Cassidy Lutz at [email protected] or by calling 620-625-8620.

Event highlights factors that affect cattle production

PARSONS, Kan. – Outside forces have made managing forage even more important in cattle production, says Kansas State University beef systems specialist Jaymelynn Farney.

 

High input prices, weather events, insect invasions…they’re all important topics that affect cattle producer’s profits.

 

Farney said those are topics that will highlight the annual Beef Cattle and Forage Field Day in Parsons on Aug. 3. The field day will be held at the Southeast Research and Extension Center (25092 Ness Road in Parsons) beginning at 8:30 am with registration.

 

The rest of the program includes an afternoon trip to the field to view a broomsedge control demonstration plot and discussion on interseeding warm season annuals into cool-season perennials. Farney said the field day also includes several indoor presentations, which will be recorded and posted online at www.southeast.ksu.edu/field_days.

 

Presentations and presenters include:

• Let’s Talk about Flies and Ticks, Cassandra Olds, K-State.
• Herd dispersal and getting back into production the “Ins and Outs” – Scott Lawson, Oklahoma State University.
• Different forms of supplement for stocker steers on pasture – Farney.
• Pasture management (or recovery) during drought – Dale Helwig, K-State Cherokee County Extension.
• Cull cow demonstration – Wendie Powell, K-State Wildcat Extension District

 

The field day is free to attend and includes lunch. This year’s field day sponsors include Frontier Farm Credit, Producers Coop, and Zoetis.

 

Those interested in attending are urged to contact Aly Volz by 620-820-6133 or online at https://kstate.qualtrics.com/jfe/forms/SV_b1Kv7cYtOIZz7Rs to help organizers with a meal count by August 1.

 

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K‑State Research and Extension is a short name for the Kansas State University Agricultural Experiment Station and Cooperative Extension Service, a program designed to generate and distribute useful knowledge for the well‑being of Kansans. Supported by county, state, federal and private funds, the program has county extension offices, experiment fields, area extension offices and regional research centers statewide. Its headquarters is on the K‑State campus in Manhattan. For more information, visit www.ksre.ksu.edu. K-State Research and Extension is an equal opportunity provider and employer.

 

 

 

For more information:

Jaymelynn Farney

620-820-6125

[email protected]

 

 

[email protected], 620-244-3826

So Now What? Tips for Managing Life after Retirement
Your finances are all in order and your bucket list is complete. You are officially ready to retire, right? Not so fast. Research has shown that we need to be concerned about more than just money before and during retirement.

Leaving the workforce has implications for your wallet, of course, but it can also affect relationships, physical and emotional health, and even your ability to live independently for longer periods of time. The good news? You can make a difference in all of these areas by being aware and making smarter, well-informed choices.

Researchers at Kansas State University worked to understand steps individuals can take to live a successful, healthy retirement. Here are four key steps that help avoid common challenges and improve the overall retirement experience.
1. Focus on your fundamental relationships. Retirement can have a significant impact on your most meaningful relationships. It is crucial to have conversations that will establish expectations, lay out plans, and allow others to provide input about their role in your well-deserved free-time.
2. Live a healthy lifestyle. Research shows that retirement has the ability to either improve your health or send you packing to the doctor. Whether you choose the path of pajamas and relaxation or activities galore, it is important to ensure that you are taking adequate care of your physical, mental, and emotional health. It is never too late to develop a healthy lifestyle!
3. Find your balance. Leaving a 40-hour workweek can be tough, and establishing a new normal may not be a breeze for everyone. Some may dive head-first into volunteering, babysitting, socializing, and doing all of their long-desired hobbies. Others might be unsure of what to do with all of their time. Establishing a balance that works for you is an important factor of living a successful retirement.
4. Continue planning for the future. Just because your retirement funds are set does not mean you are done planning and preparing for the years ahead. It is valuable to identify ways in which you can continue to manage your finances, prepare for future medical crises, and prepare your home for long-term living.
Looking to the future can be exciting and stressful all at the same time! It’s never too early to start action planning, taking goals one step at a time, asking for help when needed, and remember to celebrate what you accomplish along the way. Use retirement as a time to thrive and enjoy life, but also to take care of your relationships, yourself, and your future — you deserve it!

For more information, contact Tara Solomon-Smith, [email protected], or by calling 620-244-3826.

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Kansas State University Agricultural Experiment Station and Cooperative Extension Service
K-State Research and Extension is an equal opportunity provider and employer. Issued in furtherance of Cooperative Extension work, acts of May 8 and June 30, 1914, in cooperation with the U.S. Department of Agriculture, Director of K-State Research and Extension, Kansas State University, County Extension Councils, Extension Districts.

 

Grasshoppers seemed to have started feeding in my landscape a few weeks ago. Their main target has been my Mexican sunflower blooms. I’m not sure what makes them so tasty to the grasshoppers!

 

Believe it or not, Kansas has approximately 115 grasshopper species. Fortunately though, only 5 species are considered as threats to crops and vegetables. The differential and two-stripped grasshoppers are the most common type found in the home garden.

 

These two types of grasshoppers are characterized by their large size, with adults averaging 1 ½ to 2 inches in length. The differential grasshopper is mostly yellow and black and has a V-shaped pattern on their hind legs. The two-striped grasshopper is brownish or grayish in color. As you look at them from above, there are two yellow stripes running down the top of the head.

 

Grasshoppers remain in the area where they were hatched, and feed primarily on grasses and broadleaf plants. Sometimes when there are large populations of grasshoppers and all of the available plants have been consumed, they will seek out new food sources. Trees may become targets once other plant materials have been eaten. In drought situations, grasshoppers will feed on anything containing moisture including moist soil, wood and even linens that are left outside.

 

Sometimes you will hear people say that grasshoppers like hot dry conditions. That is sort of true. Basically, grasshoppers are more noticeable during drought conditions because they are in search of new food sources. In years of low populations or when there is adequate moisture, grasshoppers will stay in their hatching area and they do not cause a great deal of damage.

 

So what is a homeowner supposed to do to protect their plants? I am sure some of you have used a spray treatment and are convinced that the spray did not kill the grasshoppers. Some of the grasshoppers were more than likely killed, but you probably didn’t notice the dead ones because new ones had already hatched and had begun their destruction.

 

Before spraying any insecticide, please check the product label. Permethrin and carbaryl (Sevin) will work on vegetables and ornamentals. For insecticides applied to vegetables, it is important to observe the post-harvest intervals listed on product labels. For a complete list of available insecticides, please contact me at the Extension office.

 

Krista Harding is a K-State Research and Extension Horticulture agent assigned to Southwind District.  She may be reached at [email protected] or 620-244-3826.

 

K-State Research and Extension is an equal opportunity provider and employer.

Fifty percent of people in the industrialized world suffer from some form of back pain and many are related to poor seat design and posture. I am on the road plenty these days, and I had been having some neck pain as a result. My 4’11” stature often does not allow me to sit flat footed, so I have been able to get a chair that fits better and engaged some strategies when traveling that alleviate some of the pain.
After looking into this a little bit more, it amazed me how much proper posture and chair design can take a toll on your body. Improper posture can lead to muscle fatigue, pain, and even disk degeneration overtime. The good news is there are things we can do to improve the natural habit of slouching!
Move More, Sit Less
No matter what your work station consists of, take movement breaks every hour and change your postures when you start to fatigue. Research findings recommend the following: sit for 20, stand for 8, and move for 2 minutes per half hour. You can work up to this! Start by standing for short periods such as 5-10 minutes every hour.

How Does your Work Station Measure Up?
 Your chair should support your low back, feet should rest firmly on the ground or footrest slightly in front of you
 Your monitor should be directly in front of you, at an arm’s length distance with your eyes at the same level as the tool bar
 Your mouse should be positioned close to you near the edge of the desk
 Your keyboard should be centered in front of you and near the edge of the desk

Standing Posture
 Good foot support (low heeled supportive shoes or insoles)
 Knees slightly bent
 Weight balanced on both feet evenly, with feet hip width apart, shoulders back and relaxed
 Abdominal muscles slightly activated
 Neck and head in line with shoulders from the side
 From the side, should be able to draw a straight line from earlobes, shoulder, hip, to ankle

I continue the need to practice! For more information, contact Tara Solomon-Smith, [email protected], or by calling 620-244-3826.

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Kansas State University Agricultural Experiment Station and Cooperative Extension Service
K-State Research and Extension is an equal opportunity provider and employer. Issued in furtherance of Cooperative Extension work, acts of May 8 and June 30, 1914, in cooperation with the U.S. Department of Agriculture, Director of K-State Research and Extension, Kansas State University, County Extension Councils, Extension Districts.