“Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

One of my all-time favorite Christmas presents was a Rubik’s Cube. My folks gave it to me for Christmas when I was in the first grade. Momma ordered the Rubik’s Cube. She didn’t order it online. There was no such thing as “online” when I was a kid. Momma ordered the Rubik’s Cube from the Sears and Roebuck catalog.

Today, with all the technology and video games available to them, a kid would not want something like a Rubik’s Cube. But when I was a little boy, everybody wanted one for Christmas. I was so excited on Christmas morning when I opened that gift. I spent most of the Christmas break learning to work the Rubik’s Cube.

When school started back, I took my Rubik’s Cube to show off to all my friends. At my school, we had a bully. His name was Big Jamie. Big Jamie should have been in the third grade, but he was held back. Being “held back” is a nice way of saying he failed. Big Jamie failed the first grade twice. So, he was two or three years older than the rest of us, and he used to push us around.

I was out on the playground with my Rubik’s Cube when Big Jamie snatched it out of my hand. Someone told me that a bully was just a lot of hot air and bluff. If you stand up to him, he will get scared of you and run. Then you won’t have anymore trouble out of him. That was the worst advice I ever had. I said, “Give me that back or you are going to get it.” Big Jamie hit me in the face. The blow knocked me down. Big Jamie stood over me with my Rubik’s Cube in his hand and laughed.

I heard a voice say, “Give it back to him and leave him alone.” I turned and saw my friend, Joe Ray, standing in front of Big Jamie with his fists raised. The next thing I knew, they were fighting. Joe Ray whipped Big Jamie and handed me my Rubik’s Cube. For the rest of my school years, if I stayed around Joe Ray, I never had to worry about that bully bothering me.

If you try to whip the devil on your own, he will beat you every time. Jesus defeated Satan at Calvary and gave power and authority to His church. You need other people in the church to help you fight your spiritual battles.

Some of you reading this today, will go to church this week for Christmas services. For many of you, this will be the first time since Easter that you have been to church. Some of you only go to church twice a year. If that is you, I use the term “chreasters” to describe you because you only show up for church on Christmas and Easter. When I call you a chreaster, it is not my intent to discourage you from going to church this week. I want you to go. But I also hope that you go next week, and the next week, and so on. I hope that you will find and become a part of a local Bible believing church.

The point is: You need a church family, so you don’t face the trials of life alone. Helping each other can strengthen us, but self-reliance makes for weakness. Christianity is not a choose-your-own-path religion. God says you need to go to church more than twice a year.

Don’t be a chreaster.

James Collins is the pastor of Fort Scott’s First Southern Baptist Church. You are invited to their community breakfast tomorrow at 9:45 am, followed by their Christmas Sunday service. You are invited back the following Sunday, and the next, and the next. For more information visit the website fortscottfsbc.com.

A few years after we were married, Dave and I had a discussion about what makes each other happy. We began by sharing what we thought the other person wanted. My answer was easy. Since Dave eats tacos about 300 days a year, that was the way to his heart.

Not even close. “Patty, that doesn’t make me happy. What makes me happy is when you show me affection. Hold my hand. Hug me. Kiss me for no reason.”

What??? All these years, thinking I was earning wife-points with my Mexican cooking, my focus had been on making sure we never were without chopped lettuce, diced tomatoes, spicy hamburger, grated cheese, tortillas and three kinds of taco sauce? And Dave would rather have had a hug? I asked Dave what he thought I needed from him, a no-brainer in his opinion. It was a squeeze of his hand while we were watching television or a morning kiss to start my day or a long embrace for no reason whatsoever.

WRONG! My husband knew nothing about my love language. And although those were wonderful demonstrations of Dave’s love for me, there were other things that would have, in my opinion, solidified his marriage vows: lend me a hand to rake leaves or weed-eat; offer to come alongside with meal preparation when guests were coming to visit; help write Christmas cards or thank-you notes; you know, basically, be my assistant when needed. (And yes, it does appear that one of us was requiring a lot more than the other.)

You see, we all are wired differently; Dave and I had assumed that what we desired was what our spouse desired. Do you see the problem here? All we needed to do was to ask instead of assume. That conversation, years ago, was central to my husband and me understanding each other better. But it did more than that. Over the years, it has pushed me to question what God’s love language might be. What does He want from me that I withhold because I don’t think it’s all that important? After all, He abounds in grace, so He will be happy with whatever I think is important, right?

I don’t think so. God wants my attitude to reflect the joy He has offered to me. He wants me to be selfless and not selfish. He wants me to be grateful and not grumble. When I rake or am working in the kitchen, God wants me to be thankful to Him that I have arms and legs and a yard and an oven and a clear-thinking mind (well, relatively speaking). He wants me to appreciate the heat pad that I will use on every part of my body the day after raking or weed-eating. He wants me to enjoy autumn and friends and a Christmas season that reflects the Gift He has given in His son. He wants me to be grateful for a husband who has stood beside me for 46 years. He wants me to recognize what a good, good Father He is.

During this Christmas season, I pray we all choose to understand God’s “love language” in a way that reflects what He has done in our lives instead of offering only what is convenient for us.

Merry Christmas, and may your 2020 be filled with opportunities to be the love language that God is to you.