Happy Father’s Day!
Last week, Dave and I met with our Mexico banker, “Eduardo.” He is a wonderful, Christian man who, like Dave, loves sports and shared what recently happened at his six-year-old’s basketball game. The opponent accidentally hit his son “Jose” in the face, so his son punched his competitor in the back.
Intentionally. Jose’s dad left his seat and met his son on the bench where the coach was addressing the young boy’s bad attitude. Eduardo thanked the coach for disciplining his son and said that if his son was a poor sport again, he wanted him out of the game completely.
On the ride home, Dad and Son had a meeting about not playing with dignity. Eduardo led Jose in a prayer that night…and again the next morning when he dropped his son off at school. When Eduardo shared the incident with his wife, she reminded him of a story he had told her when they were dating. He, as his baseball team’s catcher, pinned his opponent up against a wall after his teammate on third base screamed at the other dugout. Eduardo’s close friend was on the other team and asked why he was so upset. He was “defending his teammate,” he said, because the opponent “must have said something derogatory.”
Eduardo’s friend started laughing and explained that the teammate had gotten worked up when the competition referred to them as “ponis” instead of caballos (“horses”), their official mascot. A molehill had been turned into a mountain, and Eduardo was publicly embarrassed by his actions. He wanted to make sure his son did not follow in his footsteps.
We were proud of our banker for the way he handled his son and told him so. After all, it seems there is a shortage of great fathers today, but other than teaching a child right from wrong, what makes a great father? For one, he is present.
In my upcoming book, A Little Faith Lift, I cite the 2021 National Fatherhood Initiative, “The Statistics Don’t Lie: Fathers Matter.” Over 40 percent of all U.S. births are to single moms (compared to less than 5 percent in 1950), and each year 180,000 guys become teen dads. That equates to more than 1.5 million babies born into unmarried households, with only 20 percent of teen fathers marrying the baby’s mother. Unfortunately, approximately eight of ten teen fathers will end up flying the paternal coop, with most children born to teen dads never knowing their fathers. No surprises there. Most of these “dads” themselves grew up in a fatherless household.
What kind of a dad deserts his children and cares not that their needs are met? If the dad is absent, the burden on the mother is enormous. My father died when I was eight-months-old. I had a brother one year older than me, and my mother was pregnant when Dad died. Mom spent her entire life selflessly dedicated to our upbringing and somehow kept us all walking the straight-and-narrow (well, except for me, but let’s not go there right now). My brothers and I never felt abandoned by our dad. Big difference from those who question their worth when their fathers intentionally jump off the family ship.
Scripture assumes a dad who is present.
Luke 11:11 refers to a father’s kind heart: Now suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he? Ephesians 6:4 reminds the dad of his role in raising his children: Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
The Bible is not short on stories of inadequate fathers: Lot, Isaac, Jacob, Eli, Samuel, King David, Eli the High Priest, and let’s not even count the inept kings who fathered inept sons. But there is one Father who never fails, and that is God.
Zephaniah 3:17 addresses how watched over we are: The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing. Fathers, on this day celebrating you, I pray that you do the same for your children as God does for you. Be present.