Playing Games the Hard Way by Patty LaRoche

Have you ever flattered someone, only because you wanted them to think kindly of you or because you were going to need them to do something for you later? Games-players can appear soooo sweet. (“I am so sorry I didn’t show up for our meeting but I’ve been under such stress and I didn’t want to bother you all with my problems so I’ll just carry them alone.”)

They might even manipulate with money or gifts, obligating you to do whatever they ask.  Think wolf in sheep’s clothing.  Allow me to illustrate with a real-life scenario.  I once attended a ladies’ Bible study in which the leader instructed us on how to make our husbands more attentive (i.e., how to manipulate):

• You’re always home at a certain time?  Don’t be.
• He questions where you’ve been?  Be evasive, but just a little.
• You’re supposed to meet him somewhere?  Tardy is good.

The key, we were told, was to keep him wondering.

I thought the leader was going to get a standing ovation.  The young audience was excitedly taking copious notes.  New tactics!  Hooray!  My girlfriend Gretchen and I were glancing at each other, our eyeballs doing somersaults with each new option.  Simultaneously, our arms shot up.  Gretchen got the nod.

Of course.  Gretchen always got the nod.  She was gorgeous, stylish, energetic, and she had a southern drawl that would curl your eyelashes.

“I’m sorry,” she began, “but isn’t that a form of manipulation?” The leader stammered, desperately trying to win back her audience with a scripture or two.  It was pointless.  Every justification she presented was immediately countered with our frantic arm movements.

Before long, she glanced at her watch and silenced our gestures with, “Oh, dear, IMAGINE THAT.  We’re out of time.”  Our session quickly was terminated, and she disappeared.

Another way to play games is to use favors.  We cook his favorite meal or wash her car or run his errands or tolerate her anger…anything to get what we want, either the same day or, for the real pro’s, a few weeks later.

You know how this works.  You’ve been eyeing that stunning new suit at your favorite boutique, but oh, my! Way too expensive.  There’s no money in the budget for anything that extravagant.  What to do!  Well, just maybe if you can get Hubby in a good mood he’ll oblige. Yes, of course, that’s it.  Mood is everything.

You swing into action.  You recognize what moves your husband and you get busy.  Perhaps he needs help weeding the yard—you lather on the sunscreen, clap the crusted dirt off your gardening gloves, and whistle while you work. Maybe he just enjoys your company when he runs his errands—you grin and bear it, pretending to actually enjoy your one-aisle-at-a-time, Home Depot excursion.  He’s one content man. Happy camper man.  Now, if you’re really smart you let a little time pass—you don’t spring your request on him immediately, but you do make sure his mood hasn’t changed before petitioning for that expensive outfit.

Oh, yes, you are so clever.  And he is so clueless!   A fine combination, indeed.

Proverbs 24:8 states, “He who plots evil will be called a schemer,” and 12:2 warns us, “The good person obtains favor from the Lord, but He condemns a man who schemes.”  Any time we do anything with the intent of getting something in return, we are scheming.  God is not concerned with the outcome; He is concerned with our motives. Certainly worth a little self-investigating, don’t you think?