Sometimes the theme song behind my prayer time sounds more like “Is That All There Is?” rather than “I Surrender All.” Not only do I fail to enter the throne room, I’m not even knock, knock knockin’ on Heaven’s door.
That’s what my prayers are sometimes like. Actually, more than sometimes. Oh, I start out fine, all right, thanking God that I’m awake/breathing, that I’m in a warm, comfortable bed, and yes, even that my husband is snoring beside me. And for just a few moments I’m doing fine. Just my Heavenly Father and me. Sharing the love. AAAAHHHHHH.
But then the inevitable happens. My mind sinks from the eternal heights and wanders off to la-la-land. From wondering what will happen if I get tongue-tied in my upcoming talk to organizing appetizers for tonight’s dinner party to reliving the time in 8th grade when I didn’t make cheerleader, I hip-hop through a gamut of nonproductive brain-traps. Once I realize what I’ve done, I spend the next few minutes apologizing to God and attempting to get my mind on a more spiritual track…until I remember the trash bill I forgot to pay and the article I need to write.
Can you imagine going out to lunch with your best friend and spending the entire time spewing every random, helter-skelter thought that popped into your head? “Hi, Sue. Saw a red bird on my drive here—so pretty. How about those Chiefs? I hear we’re getting a new barbecue restaurant. I love barbecue. Hope we get some rain. Wish I could get rid of these wrinkles. Do you like horses like I do? Oh yea, here are some things I need you to do for me.”
Chances are, that would be a short-lived friendship. So why do I do that with God?
Why is it I give Him second-best (if even that)? The One who loves me unconditionally, the One who yearns for a relationship with me, and I can’t find time for Him? My Father “surrendered all” in His son; what keeps me from understanding “that IS all there is” when it comes to establishing my daily/weekly/monthly/yearly/life priorities?
On Instagram this week, I read this: “You can’t be 98% for God and 2% with the world. Jesus didn’t die for 98% of you. He died for 100% of you. That 2% will eat away at you. It’s a cold world. 100% with God is better. Trust me. He won’t fail you.” Can you imagine what surrendering all would look like? (Can you imagine what surrendering 98% would look like?) But 100%?
To have every thought, word and deed honor God? How I dress. What I eat. Whom I hang with. Where I go. How I spend my time. How I love. Absolutely everything that makes me who I am.
Someone once asked, “Would you be willing to die for Christ?” “Of course,” was the answer. But the real question is this: “Would you be willing to live for him?”
Because that’s what surrender is all about.