Last week, I wrote about “stuff.” Since we all handle things differently, we should look for commonalities if friendships are to last. Sometimes, that’s easier than it sounds.
I phoned a girlfriend. Not to chit-chat. To ask for advice. I was upset and knew that this friend would give me Godly counsel. After reading her a text/email exchange between “Sue” and me, I asked if my final response was (a) too harsh or (b) appropriate. (“Too harsh.”) Was I demonstrating Christ-likeness? (“No.”) Would she feel as frustrated as I did? (“Yes”—finally, a teensy bit of empathy from my friend.)
This all began when Sue, a cannot-take-no, multi-marketer acquaintance, invited me to be a part of a ZOOM call as well as a Facebook collaboration to learn about a new product that would cure several ailments. Was I available on Tuesday night? I shared that I am on a ZOOM Bible study every Tuesday evening. No problem for Sue. There was another ZOOM on Thursday evening. She would sign me up and send me the FB link.
This is what I wrote: “I don’t attend ZOOM meetings that sell something or promote something. I’ve done too many that want me to participate in something. I have been stung and just can’t bring myself to participate. I love that you are energized by these, but I am not. I have multiple requests to listen to these. I hope you understand.”
She did not. Why, to her, I had to be interested! Why would I not be? “You are even going to your Bible study on ZOOM” (which means?????). The rest of the text told me how great the product was and that I need to be informed, and she ended with this: “I am disappointed that you think that of me.”
I re-read the text several times. Just what did I think of her? I asked her that question and added that my best friends know that I don’t have luck with multi-level products. “So, we just agree to disagree,” I wrote.
Sue told me that I was missing out, that she is not a “fly by the seat of my pants kind of person,” and she knows results. She copied and pasted a meme listing the 3 C’s in life: “You must make the Choice to take the Chance if you want anything in life to Change,” signing off with this: “Think about it.” I was thinking about it, all right, but not in a loving-Jesus-sort-of- discipleship way.
I thanked Sue for thinking of me but shared that the product I bought last year from a close friend did not solve my ailments, in spite of several positive testimonials. “I know your intentions were to help” were my final words.
Well, according to Sue, obviously my friend did not sell me good merchandise. Had it been tested and approved? On she went, explaining criteria I should have used to research the product and ending with this: “But you basically called me a snake oil salesman and called zooms the devil! Bible study zooms sell something too! Eternal Salvation.”
Let’s just say I was not thinking about Eternal Salvation when I wrote my “I want to yank your tongue out” response, including that, because of Jesus, Eternal Salvation is Free, thank you very much. But something (Somebody?) prevented me from hitting “send.” That’s when I called my girlfriend who talked me down from my ledge of pride, self-pity and retaliation. Her suggestion was that I go ahead and vent…get it all out of my system…write away…and then hit the delete button.
I said a few prayers and took my friend’s advice (even though the tongue-yanking sounded more appealing). She was right. We all need friends that pull us towards God, those who don’t add to our anger but who remind us of what Scripture says about forgiveness instead of payback. Hopefully, should the need arise, I will offer the same kind of advice.