Around sixth grade, Jonita and I were having a great day touring the Dickerson Park Zoo in Springfield, MO. I’d never been around llamas before, so I didn’t know they spat at humans when distressed, annoyed, or threatened. As we stood on the other side of the fence, we were acting goofy and giggling and I was talking rather loud. (Since that day, I’ve learned there are two signs that let you know a llama is getting ready to spit. The llama will pin its ears back and then stare at its target. Next, a llama will move its neck and raise its head up and spit either from its mouth or stomach.) Well, I made the llama angry and, sure enough, a flying torpedo of spit missed my face by an inch. After the initial shock, we erupted in hysterical laughter and stumbled away to the monkey cage where I was the target of flying poop. I seem to have a special rapport with zoo animals.

Llamas, alpacas, and camels are all from the same family. In the Old Testament, the Midianites were among the first to use camels in warfare.“…they [Midianites] would come like locusts in number — both they and their camels could not be counted — so that they laid waste the land as they came in” (Judges 6:5 ESV). The one-humped dromedary can travel more than 150 miles in one day. The two-humped Bactrian camel is slower but can carry more weight than the dromedary. Camels live to be 40-50 years old, and can weigh 1,800 pounds. They drink 30 gallons of water in 13 minutes and run 25-40 mph. You certainly want to stay on the good side of camels because they can be dangerous and unpredictable. If they become angry, they can wreck an entire campsite!  

It’s not just camels that can wreck stuff when they get angry. Humans can totally destroy relationships if they let anger take control of their emotions and actions. Vicious and hateful attitudes toward others are dangerous undercurrents which can develop into anger. “I will bridle my anger, trash my wrath, cool my pipes — it only makes things worse” (Psalm 37:8 MSG). When llamas get super mad, they spit terrible stinky junk from their stomach. If they’re simply annoyed, they just spit saliva from their mouth. But whatever they spit, it’s not pleasant if you’re the target. (I know from first-hand experience!)

In the middle of writing this column, I was insulted and offended by a spur-of-the-moment situation that made me so angry I could chew up nails and spit out a barbed wire fence. However, after recounting the episode with four trusted loved ones, I finally got to the point where I could laugh about it. Before I hit the hay that evening, I had trashed my temptation to spit and had chosen the better option of uproarious laughter. “And don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil“ (Ephesians 4:26,27).

Anger that’s not nipped in the bud is a serious problem and God’s Word gives us a lot of  instruction on it. It’s natural to experience anger, but it’s important to quickly handle it in a godly manner. Being madder than a snake who married a garden hose shouldn’t last a week, month, or year. And getting mad as a mule chewing on bumble bees shouldn’t be an everyday occurrence either. “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. A hot-tempered person starts fights; a cool-tempered person stops them” (Proverbs 15:1,18 NLT).

The Key: Don’t waste your money on a spittoon, just get over “it” before you go to bed.